OffBeatr - What the internet was made for, crowd funded porn
7 replies, posted
OffBeatr is basically Kickstarter for porn, except projects need to get through an public approval process which seems pointless to me, since if no one is interested in the project there's not going to be anyone sending them money. Other than that it works exactly like Kickstarter, but thin interesting thing is the "projects" on there.
[url=http://offbeatr.com/project/got-mormon-milk-gay-porn-for-2012-27684190174]Got Mormon Milk[/url] was the first thing to catch my eye, a prospective gay porn movie from a upcoming website run by some guy called Paul Jackson, who claims that "My specialty is getting young straight guys to open up sexually on camera. It's a gift!", called mormonboyz.com that's launching in september. Apparently it's supposed to be "the perfect antidote for those wanting relief from Obama v. Romney 2012", and he wants 18,000 USD to make it, which will go towards "Production - paying the missionaries and priesthood leaders to be on film (you can buy anything in Mormonism for money)", "Hired help for a second photographer, videographer", "Assistant hired to help with editing", "Marketing" and "Legal fees", which I assume means he's expecting to get sued by a church.
[url=http://offbeatr.com/project/double-d-erotica-34345510319]Double D Erotica[/url] was the next thing I clicked because I like big boobs, but reading through it it's about "urban black lesbians", so it's less hot lesbian porn and more strong black women who don't need no man.
[url=http://offbeatr.com/project/fantasy-sex-game-furoticon-online-57972967509]Furoticon Online[/url] is a MMO version of a furry porn card game (why is there a furry porn card game?), that wants [I]$25,000[/I] to make it so that every card combination in the game gets played out in pixel art, as well as letting players see each other on webcam while they play. If you've ever seen an enthusiastic Magic: The Gathering player you'll know why this is a horrible idea.
[url=http://offbeatr.com/project/sonos-erotica-35790792364]Sonos Erotica[/url] is a project that wants to make porn just from sound, I assume this is because it makes it harder to be caught at it when on public transit since no one can see your screen, and will some how cost $20,000 to produce so fuck knows how they're spending the money.
And [url=http://offbeatr.com/project/mandroid-the-pervy-adult-tamagotchi-of-online-hookups-2598487965]MANDROID[/url], a smartphone app that says it will be able to manage all your shady dating site accounts at once, keep track of everyone you've fucked in case you lose count, tell your fuck buddy your STI history and "remind you to bring lots of lube, and XXL condoms". It also encrypts all this shit, as if the fact you have it installed in the first place wouldn't give it away they you're a slut or desperate.
[QUOTE=Rents;37186161]
And [url=http://offbeatr.com/project/mandroid-the-pervy-adult-tamagotchi-of-online-hookups-2598487965]MANDROID[/url], a smartphone app that says it will be able to manage all your shady dating site accounts at once, keep track of everyone you've fucked in case you lose count, tell your fuck buddy your STI history and "remind you to bring lots of lube, and XXL condoms". It also encrypts all this shit, as if the fact you have it installed in the first place wouldn't give it away they you're a slut or desperate.[/QUOTE]
This actually sounds like the start of a good idea, just twisted by..evil porn.
[QUOTE=Rents;37186161]
[url=http://offbeatr.com/project/fantasy-sex-game-furoticon-online-57972967509]Furoticon Online[/url] is a MMO version of a furry porn card game (why is there a furry porn card game?), that wants [I]$25,000[/I] to make it so that every card combination in the game gets played out in pixel art, [B]as well as letting players see each other on webcam while they play.[/B] If you've ever seen an enthusiastic Magic: The Gathering player you'll know why this is a horrible idea.
[/quote]
I...don't think I want that feature while playing an erotic furry card game.
[QUOTE=No_Excuses;37186486]I...don't think I want that feature while playing an erotic furry card game.[/QUOTE]
But you [I]do[/I] want to play an erotic furry card game..right? What if the person is dressed up in their fur suit, better?
alright, who would be interested in funding my future project? It's called MTGHGTABBO : [I]MILF Trannie Gay Horses get their Asian BBW BDSM on[/I]
[QUOTE=G3rman;37186521]But you [I]do[/I] want to play an erotic furry card game..right? What if the person is [B]dressed up in their fur suit[/B], better?[/QUOTE]
People still do that?
[quote=MANDROID]If you are going to hook up with someone new, or in a strange part of town and you turn on the feature, Tom or Tama can do something in case you haven’t responded to messages by the next afternoon (or some specified period of time). [b]In the case that you don’t respond to Tom’s or Tama’s messages after a hookup, they can notify a friend with a text message including the address of the last place you were going for your hook up.[/b] When activating this feature, Tom and Tama joking refer to themselves as your [b]Epimp (TM)[/b].[/quote]
I'll just leave this here.
"My Hot Wetdream" We can fund it!
We can!
We will!
We must!
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