I saw this make the rounds of Facebook, and I would like to share it all with you.
It's an advert for a Toyota MR2 and the buyer is in Shrewsbury. It's not just any normal car for sale add, here's the decription:
[quote]I am presenting you with a unique opportunity to own a genuine pussy wagon.
Forget Match.com this delightful little two seater is your direct ticket to a plethora of punani and no doubt the answer to those lonely nights in.
This road going aphrodisiac is the more desirable T bar version of the ever so popular mid-engined sports car - the legendary Toyota MR2. Just a quick cruise through the local town is enough to get jaws dropping and skirts lifting.
This muff mobile has seen its fair share of action (136,500 miles to be precise) but has been regularly serviced. The book is fully stamped up to around 100k, after that I've got a folder full of receipts for everything from cam-belt changes to oils, filters and spermicidal lubricants.
I've got all its previous tests, amazingly it passes every year. Its got four good branded tyres with lots of tread all round - Hankooks on the rear and Avons on the front.....but to be honest who cares bout that?
I've got two keys and two fobs to the factory fitted alarm, just in case bitches be hatin'
Its very reliable, drives perfectly and sounds great thanks to the stainless steel power-flow exhaust system, its not over powering but gives a nice tone, plus its only fair that the chichas can hear you coming.
The 168 BHP naturally aspirated 2.0 engine provides you with enough grunt to escape from the less desirable's you will inevitably attract the attention of, whereas the ventilated disc brakes fitted all round will ensure that you can stop in time to pick up the high street honeys.
Cosmetically its in great condition for a 17 year old fanny magnet, its obviously been regularly hosed down by both myself and its previous keepers
Inside its got the full wipe-clean black leather interior which really is a must in a car like this and there is an MP3 CD player fitted, perfect for blasting out your own sex mix.
The blinds for the glass panels are present which are essential if you decide to park it up during the day, these have been steamed up on many an occasion but I'm pleased I can confirm that they do not let water in.
Everything on the car is working and the pop up headlights will keep the bimbo's entertained for hours.
As with all used vehicles there are a few negatives, however I'm confident that the winning bidder will be so deep in beaver that these minor niggles will pale into insignificance. I've included photographs of these Incase you think I'm untrustworthy.
Unfortunately you can only fit one bird in it at a time.
Very slight bubbling to the rear sills, still totally solid.
Scuff and stone chips to the front splitter.
Small tear in driver seat - I've covered it with rape tape so it doesn't get any worse.
Electric aerial doesn't go up - trust me a week behind the wheel of this bad boy and the aerial will be the only thing not erecting.
Chip in the windscreen, passed its last two tests with this as an advisory. I can only assume this was caused by a stiletto.
The reason I've decided to pass it on is simply that my nuts are drained so I have decided to go for a spell of celibacy in a 306 diesel.
This car would suit a variety of people from those heart broken souls suffering from a recent break up to happily married men looking to have an affair or two.
Should the car make a reasonable amount I am willing to include 12 Trojan and a large pack of baby wipes which should be enough see you home.
Believe it or not this is a genuine sale and the usual eBay rules apply. You bid to buy not to haggle and its cash on collection only.
If you've got any questions then please get in touch. I'll en-devour to get back to you as soon as possible but ask yourself this....can you really put a price on pussy?
Thanks for looking
Ben[/quote]
[img]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/GENUINE-PUSSY-WAGON-TAXED-TESTED-STI-CLEAR-/00/s/MTA2NlgxNjAw/z/68gAAOxyOJxSNcmE/$(KGrHqJ,!lQFIetijf,KBSNcmD7Tdw~~60_35.JPG[/img]
No stains, sweet.
[img]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/GENUINE-PUSSY-WAGON-TAXED-TESTED-STI-CLEAR-/00/s/MTA2NlgxNjAw/z/88cAAMXQigBSNcmo/$T2eC16V,!y0FI,Bv8(ZMBSNcmo!l)Q~~60_39.JPG[/img]
[img]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/GENUINE-PUSSY-WAGON-TAXED-TESTED-STI-CLEAR-/00/s/NzY0WDEwMjM=/z/hekAAMXQSbtSNckN/$(KGrHqJ,!r!FIyR)Sz8DBSNckMHE8!~~60_35.JPG[/img]
Now, my favourite part. The Q&A
[quote]Q: Hey mate, Just a query, I noticed from your description that you promise poontang a plenty with this car. I also noticed you're based in shrewsbury, about twenty miles from where I live. I know from experience that shrewsbury isn't really the sort of place where easy snatch is a scarcity, shrewsbury girls I've experienced would jump on your custard chucker if you buy them a bag of chips. Could you guarantee this vehicle would provide able mutton flaps in other parts of the country, where the girls stench trenches are less akin to a yawning hippo? Many Thanks mate. Ryan 17-Sep-13
A: Hi orybean Thanks for the question and that rather graphic description. Its perhaps not what I'd have expected from someone with a list of recent purchases like yours. I can assure you that this majestic weapon of attraction does not just pick up the average grunter you are no doubt making reference to. I am pleased to report that I've been on numerous 'tang tours in the pussywagon all with great success. I originally purchased it from Hertfordshire, so a nice 150 mile trip back broke her in nicely. Odds are if you're only 20 miles away. I'll have slammed your local slopshpots - ask around and I'm sure they'll be some luscious ladies that will be able to provide some substance to my claims. Kind Regards Ben[/quote]
Link to sale. As of now it's only got a few days left, hurry and get a bargain :dance:
[URL]http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/GENUINE-PUSSY-WAGON-TAXED-TESTED-STI-CLEAR-/161107374385?#description[/URL]
Q&A
[URL]http://contact.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=161107374385&requested=bennno2005&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI[/URL]
"Rape Tape"
...you've got my bid.
I'd have sex in it.
[QUOTE]Small tear in driver seat - I've covered it with rape tape so it doesn't get any worse.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/vrFS9yL.jpg[/IMG]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("dumb giant image post. use thumbnail tags next time." - postal))[/highlight]
no thanks already have my own pussy waggon
[img]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/04/003_us_cube_review_opt.jpg[/img]
does the car come with the flowers?
To be fair, the MR2 is a sexy car.
Was hoping for the truck from Kill Bill
This exceeds all expectations, would he mail it to the states?
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;42254666]no thanks already have my own pussy waggon
[img]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2009/04/003_us_cube_review_opt.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
But can you listen to classical music in yours and not appear out of place?
[img]http://photo.netcarshow.com/Buick-LeSabre_Celebration_Edition_2005_photo_01.jpg[/img]
Because I sure fucking can.
[IMG]http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/3841/332077-the_pussy_wagon.jpg[/IMG]
Everyone else can suck it now. :v:
Another brilliant question.
[quote]Q: Hi Ben, I recently watched a episode of Top Gear were they had a forensic team inspect the cars and I am now worried about yours. With your car being such a pussy / munta magnet I am worried about the car being contaminated with bodily fluids and pubic hairs amongst other things. I also suspect a £10 valet at the local polish car valeting centre might have only rubbed in the contamination and not removed this. The last thing I would like to do is buy a car contaminated with you and your past love buddies. 21-Sep-13
A: Hi rickhondar Firstly, if you'd seen some of my previous love buddies you would not be worried about contamination - you'd be more worried that the flavour had seeped out of the seats. Secondly as you can (hopefully) see in the photo's I've kept the pussy wagon very clean, hence its STI clear status. Hopefully this has put your mind at ease. Kind Regards Ben
[/quote]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYaXw8TZEvs[/media]
If the description is something to go by, then this MR2's insides probably look worse than a prostitute's bedsheet.
I hope this gets sold for more than it would if it didn't have the amazing description.
[IMG]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Suzuki-VL-125-LC-Intruder-Motorcycle-/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/z/uiQAAMXQO21RrPVJ/$(KGrHqVHJB8FC3KwubhdBRrPVI5(gw~~60_35.JPG[/IMG]
This is the type of pussy wagon I have.
Less wagon, more mule.
Also, less pussy, more temperamental starter motor and dodgy brakes.
[QUOTE=Ricool06;42276342][IMG]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Suzuki-VL-125-LC-Intruder-Motorcycle-/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/z/uiQAAMXQO21RrPVJ/$(KGrHqVHJB8FC3KwubhdBRrPVI5(gw~~60_35.JPG[/IMG]
This is the type of pussy wagon I have.
Less wagon, more mule.
Also, less pussy, more temperamental starter motor and dodgy brakes.[/QUOTE]
Ahh, the compensation wagon.
[QUOTE=Water-Marine;42279337]Ahh, the compensation wagon.[/QUOTE]
For those with balding or erection problems.
[QUOTE=Van-man;42281377]For those with balding or erection problems.[/QUOTE]
It's a 125cc bike, I am 18, and it was cheap second hand because of a dent in the tank.
Not everyone who drives a cruiser is a 50 year old man with a beard and leather chaps you know. :v:
STi clear? If I had a pussy wagon' it'd BE an STi.
[img]http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/04/forestersti05_01.jpg[/img]
That's an SUV.
[QUOTE=Croninberg;42285931]STi clear? If I had a pussy wagon' it'd BE an STi.
[img]http://www.rsportscars.com/foto/04/forestersti05_01.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
of all the sti's you choose a forester which is basically the biggest old man car ever conceived
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;42293081]of all the sti's you choose a forester which is basically the biggest old man car ever conceived[/QUOTE]
The Forester STi shares the same chassis, gearbox, differential and engine as the Impreza STi of the same year with INCREASED engine output over the Impreza.
I wouldn't call 14.7psi of boost an "old man car".
[QUOTE=A_Pigeon;42289089]That's an SUV.[/QUOTE]
More space for more pussy.
[QUOTE=A_Pigeon;42289089]That's an SUV.[/QUOTE]
The Forester is a large stationwagon with undercarriage designed with light offroad in mind.
SUV's are more or less neutered trucks.
Big difference.
[QUOTE=Ricool06;42276342][IMG]http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Suzuki-VL-125-LC-Intruder-Motorcycle-/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/z/uiQAAMXQO21RrPVJ/$(KGrHqVHJB8FC3KwubhdBRrPVI5(gw~~60_35.JPG[/IMG]
This is the type of pussy wagon I have.
Less wagon, more mule.
Also, less pussy, more temperamental starter motor and dodgy brakes.[/QUOTE]
The girl would finish before you even get her back to your place.
You might think you have good pussy wagon
But you are wrong :v:
[t]http://tkfco.com/Inflatable%20Crocodile%20car.JPG[/t]
Here's the real deal
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/39/2002_Fiat_Multipla_silver.jpg[/img]
Erryone knows fiat multipla is only real pussywagon
[QUOTE=kokonut;42333727][img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/39/2002_Fiat_Multipla_silver.jpg[/img]
Erryone knows fiat multipla is only real pussywagon[/QUOTE]
Still don't get why they designed it like that. It's like a car... with a tumour on its face.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;42254666]no thanks already have my own pussy waggon
-snip-
[/QUOTE]
no thanks mine gets more bitches
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/t9QdlJo.png[/IMG]
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("alt of CoolzCoolz" - postal))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=EDDY TT;42333870]Still don't get why they designed it like that. It's like a car... with a tumour on its face.[/QUOTE]
I'd like to know what the hell they were on when they approved that design for production.
[QUOTE=Raygen;42353935]I'd like to know what the hell they were on when they approved that design for production.[/QUOTE]
A coctail of various drugs and cheap Vodka.
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