• How do I quit programming?
    25 replies, posted
So, like most of the other people who got into programming who are reading this, Facepunch is the place where it all started for me. Making Lua scripts for Garry's Mod. I sort of just stumbled into it. In middle school, I used to be really into skinning weapons and making maps for Counter Strike Source. Eventually my friend showed me Garry's Mod, and then I found Facepunch. I saw you can make the guns actually [i]do[/i] things! My first foray into programming was making one of those shitty 5-second SWEPs, [url=http://r333d.com/archive/cheat_awp.html]getting flamed to death[/url], and wanting to prove myself. So I doubled down on Lua and tried to make things that people actually wanted to use. It started out with RealCS in late middle school, and then DurgzMod in high school. At the point I was entering high school I was at the peak of my GMod scripting days. Before FP, I honestly did not even consider taking a programming/physics class because I found the class environment, to be quite frank, boring. But after being exposed to GMod, I wanted to learn cool things like collision detection. So I doubled down on that. By the end of high school I lived and breathed programming. I was dead set on studying CS for college. What's funny is, I'm set to graduate next year in 2017, which will be a few months short of my 10th FP birthday. During the past 4 years is when I really doubled down on programming. I made a few jailbreak tweaks (Cylinder, EqualizerEverywhere), and I also learned a fuckton of stuff. I learned vim, the unix command line, git, Java, C, Objective-C, bash scripting, LuaJIT, SQL, Go, Cydia Substrate. I basically live on the command line now. When I look back at it all, it's kind of nice to see how far I've gotten... but at the same time, I think about what I could have been doing with my time instead. I think about the cheesylard that didn't bother to pay that $10 for GMod, and never got into programming. It's kind of crazy to think how much a single video game made by some guy in the UK changed my life path. It was probably halfway through high school when I stopped programming for fun. It was always that little nagging voice in the back of my head: Play it safe. Programming is an in-demand field! You're good at it! Look at all of that awesome shit you made. You will have such a good career once you graduate. At this point, the only "hobby" I have is programming. I don't even know what else I like anymore. At any given moment, probably 50% of my mental space goes to programming. Isn't that fucking insane!? Half of my brain power. I wonder what I'd have been thinking about for the past 10 years if programming wasn't occupying my mental space so much. I don't know how to stop. I've tried to quit so many times but I keep coming back to it. I can't escape it. I just can't. My brain is hard-wired. I want to quit so badly. But I can't. Earlier revisions of this post: [url]http://r333d.com/archive/how_do_i_quit_programming/[/url]
Take up car modding. It's just as unhealthy. Ask me how I know. :smile:
Sorry to answer your question with another question, but I really wonder : are you fed up with programming as a whole, or is there another facet of it that ISN'T GMOD / CSS scripting that you might consider fun, such as... well, modding another game?
You need to find that something else that you're willing to learn and devote your time into, just like you did with programming. You're used to only programming, which is why you're having a hard time moving on to something else.
[QUOTE=NitronikALT;50162904]Sorry to answer your question with another question, but I really wonder : are you fed up with programming as a whole, or is there another facet of it that ISN'T GMOD / CSS scripting that you might consider fun, such as... well, modding another game?[/QUOTE] I honestly am not really into video games anymore. The only ones I enjoy now are those singleplayer games that tell a story or convey a feeling, like Limbo. I tire of thinking about programming in my day to day life; and constantly having my brain context switch into thinking like a computer. It's polluting my mind. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=ClauAmericano;50162954]You need to find that something else that you're willing to learn and devote your time into, just like you did with programming. You're used to only programming, which is why you're having a hard time moving on to something else.[/QUOTE] I've tried a bunch of things and the only thing that truly takes my mind off of programming is weightlifting. But that doesn't come with its downsides either, it's still a very solitary activity.
[QUOTE=cheesylard;50162962]I've tried a bunch of things and the only thing that truly takes my mind off of programming is weightlifting. But that doesn't come with its downsides either, it's still a very solitary activity.[/QUOTE] If weightlifting is something you're into, than go with that. Whatever makes you happy is what you should do, whether it's a hobby or a career. Only having 1 thing is unhealthy af. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] The way I see it from your story, you're basically full of programming. You don't necessarily hate it, but you really need to get your mind away from it for a good while.
[QUOTE=ClauAmericano;50163001]If weightlifting is something you're into, than go with that. Whatever makes you happy is what you should do, whether it's a hobby or a career. Only having 1 thing is unhealthy af. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] The way I see it from your story, you're basically full of programming. You don't necessarily hate it, but you really need to get your mind away from it for a good while.[/QUOTE] Weightlifting makes me feel good forsure, but it doesn't make me [i]happy[/i] per se. I've tried other stuff like dancing and basketball, but it seems hella futile. I could see it being fun and exciting learning it when I was in middle school or high school but I'm almost graduating college now.... it just seems like a huge uphill struggle. I'd be this older person sucking in comparison to all these younger people, and I'd have to practice it for a good while until I get good enough for it to be enjoyable, and I don't even know if I'd like it at that point. I think that's why I default to programming. Because I know I'm good at it and I vaguely remember a feeling of happiness from long ago. And I do weightlifting since I don't have to deal with that dynamic I outlined above. You just go in, do your shit, and leave. Both really solitary activities....
Warning: 3AM rant with poor phrasing. I'm going/went through something similar. Sometimes i get fed up with it and ask if it's really what i want to do, maybe i should've done something completely different, i should go back 10 years and stay away from the computer. [QUOTE=cheesylard;50162860]It was probably halfway through high school when I stopped programming for fun. It was always that little nagging voice in the back of my head: Play it safe. Programming is an in-demand field! You're good at it! Look at all of that awesome shit you made. You will have such a good career once you graduate. At this point, the only "hobby" I have is programming. I don't even know what else I like anymore.[/QUOTE] This is all too familiar to me. Instead of GMod though, i coded stuff for an MMORPG called DarkEden which is basically Diablo 2. Modding it, creating tools, a server emulator, reverse engineering it... That shit thrilled me insanely, i hated that i had to sleep and stop making stuff. I've yet to find that thrill in college or in a job. Eventually, everyone lost interest in the game and i lost motivation. Luckily though, programming isn't the only thing i do and i'm leaning more towards the business side of IT lately. I still have lots of it ahead of me, and i'm making sure i have the best time doing it, but also making sure it's not going to be all i'm about. I don't think you necessarily have to disown programming, just try not to expect too much from it anymore, after all it's a job. I hope you find something to keep you going. A new way of thinking or a hobby, or both.
i experienced a similar situation a few years ago. i got super into computer programming as a hobby for a short time, affected my ability to do my job, then i got burnt out, then got diagnosed with depression by a professional. have you explored that?
I remember when i first started playing gmod, i was probably 11 or 12 years old. My grandfather has shown me half life and half life 2 and mentioned gmod although he thought it wasnt as fun as HL. My brother and eventually my cousin and i were all hooked. When we had freetime we were at my grandfathers house playing gmod9 and eventually we got our own computer and steam account on which over 3000 some odd hours of gmod are logged. Along the way i had gotten interested in lua and mapping for fortwars. I coded a few shitty gamemods and ran a flood server from my home desktop. Lua really got me into coding, eventually i learned python and then c sharp. Now I'm studying cs, hoping to graduate 2017
[QUOTE=Lerlth;50162885]Take up car modding. It's just as unhealthy. Ask me how I know. :smile:[/QUOTE] Cheers to that one. I think more than 50% of my brain power goes to working on cars.. sad but true.
It seems like your interest lies in creating content for yourself and others much more than programming or getting a job at a big name company. Have you tried graphic design? If you have a stable job you can also go back into the modding community or create some apps in your free time.
First off, I want to say excuse me if I missed something. So you had a huge passion for programming for games but ever since you started studying it seriously as a profession rather than a personal hobby/for fun you've disliked it? Am I understanding properly?
Your story is frighteningly similar to mine, except I ended up going to a college where it's all about making video games (don't know if you went to a uni or something.) I'm also graduating next year but programming is still a huge hobby of mine and I enjoy making games, tools, and other useful shit still to this day. Outside of programming though I've picked up a few things I really enjoy doing since starting college like playing D&D with my friends from school, rock climbing, playing Heroes of the storm, and whatever else we can fit in while dealing with the insane work load. I might be wrong but it could just be that you just need to hang out with your friends more and get your mind off of programming, and if you don't like hanging out with the friends you have, then maybe it's time to try some new friends? I'm sure your school has different clubs and stuff you can look into, try new things, maybe something will stick, or maybe it's the people who will stick. You might be dealing with burn out, you've been doing the same thing, living the same life, for the past 7 years and you're starting to wonder what would of happened if you had taken another path. I wouldn't worry too much about the choices you made, what might of been right, and what was wrong. You're here now and if you feel like your life isn't progressing the way you want it to, then [I]slowly[/I] start changing it towards what you want it to be. If you get caught up regretting things then you might end up getting yourself stuck in a mental hole. Also, if you ever want to talk privately, send me a message, it seems like we might have a lot in common.
dam i never do programming in my spare time but CS is an interesting field in itself [editline]21st April 2016[/editline] its such a large field i feel like you're too narrow minded with what you think it is.
Take a break from programming for at least one month. Do something else. Met new friends. Do something stupid and fun. [editline]21st April 2016[/editline] Just don't do drugs, they might help short term but long term.. nope.
Build models. The finished product of a little train going around the track is a lot more worthwhile than a line of text.
Rip the motivation out of your heart Then give it to me
[QUOTE=Trebgarta;50175061]Hint: What do you use to programm[/QUOTE] A baseball DUH
I do a LOT of work with computers. My day job is being IT support for 120 staff in an industrial PC manufacturing company, alongside a manager and an assistant. I work with AD, Exchange, MySQL, MSSQL, DNS, DHCP, our ERP system, Crystal Reports, programming in C#, PHP, AutoIt, JavaScript, web development in HTML/CSS and a bunch of other stuff. Outside of work I'm also responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of cubeupload which is a mix of Apache, Varnish, PHP, MySQL, CentOS and Redis. So that's a lot of my time spent working with computers both inside and outside work. As a completely unrelated hobby I play guitar. I find this extremely relaxing and enjoyable and it helps give me an alternative if I'm sick of working on something computer related. I also enjoy cooking which is another creative hobby but again isn't computer related. You need to find a hobby you actually enjoy and feel like you [I]want[/I] to do it, instead of just doing it for the sake of change. Others have said this and they're right.
Note: I just edited the OP and cut down on some stuff.... I kinda rambled on for a bit. The original can be found [url=http://r333d.com/archive/how_do_i_quit_programming/]here[/url]. [QUOTE=MatheusMCardoso;50172428]That shit thrilled me insanely, i hated that i had to sleep and stop making stuff.[/QUOTE] Funny that you mention it... I experienced that a couple weeks ago when I was learning Love2D. I was trying to make this Pokemon showdown clone. I basically spent a whole weekend obsessed with it. It was all I could think about or talk about. And then all of a sudden.... the spark was gone. All of my motivation just went straight out the window. I don't know exactly what it was, but it felt like a delusion going away. Like a curtain lifted above my eyes. I suddenly realized that I wasn't making Pokemon come to life... but instead just manipulating static 2D images on a screen. And then I thought about all of the other things I could have been doing like going out to the gym and trying to play basketball, or going downtown and potentially meeting a future girlfriend or something. But nope, I'm here in front of this computer all by myself. Probably 99% of the good feels I get from coding is by actually releasing it and seeing other people enjoy my work. That's what motivates me to finish shit. But as of late this kind of cycle just keeps permeating my mind and it just stops me in my tracks. I don't even know what part of it depresses me more, the fact that I lost the spark or all of that wasted time.
[QUOTE=UberMensch;50175340]I do a LOT of work with computers. My day job is being IT support for 120 staff in an industrial PC manufacturing company, alongside a manager and an assistant. I work with AD, Exchange, MySQL, MSSQL, DNS, DHCP, our ERP system, Crystal Reports, programming in C#, PHP, AutoIt, JavaScript, web development in HTML/CSS and a bunch of other stuff. Outside of work I'm also responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of cubeupload which is a mix of Apache, Varnish, PHP, MySQL, CentOS and Redis. So that's a lot of my time spent working with computers both inside and outside work. As a completely unrelated hobby I play guitar. I find this extremely relaxing and enjoyable and it helps give me an alternative if I'm sick of working on something computer related. I also enjoy cooking which is another creative hobby but again isn't computer related. You need to find a hobby you actually enjoy and feel like you [I]want[/I] to do it, instead of just doing it for the sake of change. Others have said this and they're right.[/QUOTE] I'm kinda the same. I like finding stuff that's not on the computer and that doesn't intrinsically involve other people. Just to throw something out there, I've been doing renovations around the house lately. Mostly drywall work and repainting so far, although I'm planning on helping my parents install hardwood flooring soon. I'm putting together a wooden case to display my old Half-Life 2 CDs as a small side project, too. Even took apart a launch unit PlayStation 3 so that I can repair it. I love playing video games, but even I need a break. When I do, that's when I get out of my chair and bust my tools out instead.
Legitimate suggestion: Stop programming all day and go outside. You need to expose yourself to the outside world in order to find yourself a new hobby. Spend more time being social and hang out with some new friends. See what everyone else is doing and try joining them for yourself and see if you enjoy any of their activities.
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