So there I was, having your standard, run of the mill toss.
I was happily cruising pornhub while gently tossing of my erect dick.
I found a particularly interesting video and decided to give it the honour of being my "cum video" (the video that I watch while I cum).
I gradually began picking up the pace, having the time of my boring, sad life, when I felt it erupting.
I could feel it brewing at the base of my cock, ready to burst.
I loosened my grip and went at it like a crazy mother fucker.
I expected a standard stream of hot, whitey liquid to shoot from my li'l peeper onto hopefully my stomach, to allow ease of cleaning.
Instead, an (apparently) volcanic spurt of acidic evil came rocketing out of my penis, landing all over my shivering, petrified body and my innocently watching eyeball.
I have never been punched in the eye, nor do I want to, but I imagine the pain I am experiencing right now is [I]far[/I] worse.
As I write, my eye randomly decides to have a little weep on said potentially life threatening incident every now and then.
It's gone all red and icky and I can't see properly out of it.
At first, I thought I was overreacting a little, after all, I had escaped, relatively unharmed, but then several thoughts began to make me shit myself;
[B]1.[/B] What the flying fuck? Am I going to go blind?
[I]This was quickly replaced with:[/I]
[B]2.[/B] Holy fucking shit, what I got an STD from a fucking public toilet or my mother and I've just infected my eye!
[I]Which was then finally replaced with a conclusive:[/I]
[B]3.[/B] Jesus mother of fucking christ, there are tiny little fuckers swimming around in my fucking eye!
So there it is facepunch, the story of how I stared death in the eyes and escaped at the cost of my dearest eye.
The fuck should I do?
TL;DR My cat got ran over my other cat in my brothers overly sized remote control car.
[editline]asdasda[/editline]
I've just realised how horrificly I've set that out.
My apologies.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("This is not a thread for general discussion" - verynicelady))[/highlight]
Your sperm is gonna impregnate your eye and you'll have headbabies.
you'll experience fisheye for a while
Is jizz supposed to be hot?
truly a story to tell your grandkids
In 9 months you will have a third eye.
Wash your eyes btw
Pinkeye.
I see.
What was the video?
Wash out your eyes don't touch it or inflame it as it may get worse.
Are you this person?
[img]http://media.wildcash.com/pinkeyesurprise.com/tr/images/episodes/004/01b.jpg[/img]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Erect penis with tags" - verynicelady))[/highlight]
[quote]volcanic spurt of acidic evil came rocketing out of my penis[/quote]
Since when was semen acidic and evil? :raise:
Now you know how the girl in that porn you watched feels :wink:
The amount of detail is disturbing
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
