Hello! You all clicked on my thread to learn how to become intimate with a tree! :eng101:
Step 1.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree11.png[/img] Find a large and noble tree. This will be your spiritual and physical partner.
Step 2.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree12.png[/img] Defecate on the tree. This will make it very sappy and horny.
Step 3.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree13.png[/img] Climb up to a branch and violently push your anus in and out of the branch. You will start to bleed. Do not worry, This is part of the experience.
Step 4.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree14.png[/img] Sap will begin coming out of the tree. It is almost there! Prepare yourself!
Step 5.
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree15.png[/img] The tree will now ejaculate. This will propel you though the air. At this point you should be ejaculating as well.
I hope this guide helped you learn how to have sex with a tree.
[B]Tips[/B]
1. Don't smoke weed before, It offends the tree.
2. Lathering the tree with Miracle Grow makes the experience all the better. You can pick some up here: [url]http://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Gro-1001501-32-Ounce-Purpose-Liquid/dp/B000RNENU8[/url]
3. Finely stroking the tree can help put it in the mood.
4. Don't do this when there is a thunderstorm or this can happen V
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/tree16.png[/img]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Dumb thread" - Greeman))[/highlight]
A++ thread, would read again.
What. The. Fuck.
brb, having sex with a tree
Love threads like this :)
The fuck
thanks for the guide!
Mr. Miyagi says, "When having sex with trees it good to start out small. Now go sand my fence and later on I'll give you a car."
[img]http://thomaslarock.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/thekaratekid.jpg[/img]
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