Are fears controllable/are you able to get rid of your fears? - General

Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice. We are all telling ourselves a story. or You can't get rid of fear. Its always there. It can change, but not go away. It's vital to our existance and can't go away like any emotion. You can ignore, accept, or be troubled by your fears, but you can't get rid of it. Which one is right?

I used to be deathly afraid of needles to the point where I would faint when getting blood taken, but I made an active choice to stop being afraid of it, and now me and needles are best buds.

From a psychological standpoint, fear acts like a survival instinct. If you think about it, fear is the thing that tells you "hmm, maybe I shouldn't stand too close to this edge" or "I shouldn't go down this dark alley." There is a really good book written on this subject (apparently, I haven't read it yet) called [URL="http://www.amazon.com/The-Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198"]The Gift of Fear[/URL]. Phobias or irrational fears, however, can be overcome and there's a variety of methods of doing so.

When I was younger I conditioned myself to believe that all dogs were fucking vicious hounds out to kill you, until a woman, who I credit for helping me with a lot of shit in my life, taught me some breathing/mental exercises and things to think/say when a dog was near me. Within about four days I was completely fine with them.

I was absolutely terrified of the dark when I was a kid. I mean literally I had a friend walk me back 100m to my house when I left their place in the evening. so glad I got rid of that

I wish I knew my fears

large objects undewater give me a serious case of the willies Like seriously if I even consider that underwater mass it kinda freaks me out, even typing this.

[QUOTE=Virtanen;42731046]I was absolutely terrified of the dark when I was a kid. I mean literally I had a friend walk me back 100m to my house when I left their place in the evening. so glad I got rid of that[/QUOTE] Same. Hated the dark but now I can't sleep with an inch of light showing.

[QUOTE=yjhghtfh;42731366]large objects undewater give me a serious case of the willies Like seriously if I even consider that underwater mass it kinda freaks me out, even typing this.[/QUOTE] You are now aware the majority of the planet is below the ocean and is literally speaking underwater.

I'm mostly afraid of heights, well, a bit in accurate, it's more like the fear of not having anything to hold onto while at high altitude. Because I can go on things like roller coasters and be perfectly fine because I know I'm strapped in and holding onto something. Maybe I'll get over it someday.

[QUOTE=Auto Taco;42732426]I'm mostly afraid of heights, well, a bit in accurate, it's more like the fear of not having anything to hold onto while at high altitude. Because I can go on things like roller coasters and be perfectly fine because I know I'm strapped in and holding onto something. Maybe I'll get over it someday.[/QUOTE] Well, to be honest, I think it's more weird to not be afraid of heights.

Got stung by a bee once when I was around eight and still am afraid of bees. Fuck bees.

Used to be afraid of heights until I realized I'm not really in danger standing on the top of a tall building. Used to be terrified of public speaking until I started to do it and realized there's nothing to be afraid of, giving speeches in front of huge crowds is a piece of cake now. Also used to be afraid of larger dogs after being attacked pretty badly by one and having to kill it, but it was just a bad, wild dog.

[QUOTE=Olas;42730388]From a psychological standpoint, fear acts like a survival instinct. If you think about it, fear is the thing that tells you "hmm, maybe I shouldn't stand too close to this edge" or "I shouldn't go down this dark alley." There is a really good book written on this subject (apparently, I haven't read it yet) called [URL="http://www.amazon.com/The-Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198"]The Gift of Fear[/URL]. Phobias or irrational fears, however, can be overcome and there's a variety of methods of doing so.[/QUOTE] I actually just finished that book about two weeks ago. [i]Read it.[/i] Fear and intuition are nothing but survival tools to keep you safe. Gavin de Becker also wrote a book called "Fear Less" which I also highly recommend reading. I have a lot of respect for de Becker, as by reading his books you learn to distinguish real fear from worry and anxiety, you learn to read people and become better able to predict violence. De Becker teaches you how to trust your intuition and I really believe everyone should read those two books (the police department actually bought some copies for the detectives and officers around here). On a personal note, when I was about ten I was rock climbing with my father when he took a terrible fall and almost died in front of me. For the next five or six years heights became my biggest fear. I stopped rock climbing completely, never touching a cliff or a wall. Never even wore a harness. So for six years of my life I lived in [del]fear[/del] anxiety and completely stopped participating in one of the hobbies I loved most. When I was about sixteen or so my dad kept urging me to go back and register at one of the local climbing gyms. Obviously my response was always, "Are you serious? I almost saw you goddamn die I'm not doing that shit." One day he really didn't give me a choice, he took me and made me put on his harness (the one he fell in actually). He pretty much said, "This is my harness and someone needs to use it. My days are over, so climb." Sure enough for whatever reason I climbed. I was terrified while I was up there for a short amount of climb. My senses tingled and every little noise or flicker of light came into sharp focus, but for whatever reason I completely shut off and next thing I knew I was at the top. I came down and remember feeling like I was high on something, but nonetheless I got back into climbing and loved it ever since. So first you have to realize that fear and anxiety or worry are not the same thing. Completely different. Real fear is a survival signal telling you, "Something very bad is about to happen and you need to do something right now." That something is fight or flight, and sometimes even freeze. Worry is not the same thing, it's [i]allowing[/i] yourself to dwell on troubles. It's an act, while fear is a signal. /endlifestory

I used to be afraid of several things i'm not scared of anymore. For example, monsters in horror games you are afraid of at first. You choose to not be afraid of it and get used to it.

We live in a world where anything could kill us. We naturally fear everything to an extent, especially the unknown. *I* fear everything. I don't let it control me, not do i let it prevent me from doing anything, or rather i try, mostly successfully, not to, diving off a bridge into a shallow river notwithstanding. People shouldn't let their perceived fears control them anymore than they'd let somebody else control them. It'll stunt your options in life and leave you with regrets. Trust me.

Well first of all, I would suggest that you not try to apply lines from a movie (especially one as bad as after earth) to real life wisdom. It wont end well lmao. Secondly, what kind of fear are we talking about. If you are talking about the physiological reaction to a potentially dangerous situation, NO - you [B]do not want this to go away[/B], adrenaline is a performance enhancing drug that has kept humans, and a lot of mammals, surviving for a long time. Fear keeps you alive, and keeps you from recklessly engaging in situations that are very likely to end in your demise. As for manifestations of your anxieties, that is why we call these things "irrational fears". They are manifestations of anxiety beyond which the average person would experience. Everyone for example would feel less easy in the dark, because its naturally a dangerous environment, you could fall and severely injure yourself and in much more primitive times, you could get lost, or you could get ambushed by a predator with much better night vision. But an irrational version of this natural fear would be a crippling anxiety about being in the dark, even when you logically know the environment is no less safe than it would normally be.

psychologically speaking, fear isn't completely controllable, but it also isn't something permanent. fear and anxiety naturally go away when you experience that fear and have a reinforcing experience. for example, if you are anxious about public speaking, that anxiety will naturally go away if you actually make speeches and have good experiences giving them. your brain is adaptable as all hell, and while many fears are innate, they still mold to the environment and experiences of the individual. fear and anxiety can both be combated through cognitive behavioral exercises: essentially, people using coping techniques are able to build up a collection of positive experiences that will eventually reduce or eliminate the fear or anxiety. this is hardly "control" as you would normally think of it, more like you are continually influencing your emotions enough that your brain naturally adapts.

[QUOTE=sgman91;42730358]I used to be deathly afraid of needles to the point where I would faint when getting blood taken, but I made an active choice to stop being afraid of it, and now me and needles are best buds.[/QUOTE] How did this work for you? I am in the same boat, and when I had to have anaesthetic administered about two months ago, they took out a big-ass needle and all I could do was look away and make myself laugh like a maniac to deal with it. It didn't help that it made my hand puffy afterwards.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;42749622]How did this work for you? I am in the same boat, and when I had to have anaesthetic administered about two months ago, they took out a big-ass needle and all I could do was look away and make myself laugh like a maniac to deal with it. It didn't help that it made my hand puffy afterwards.[/QUOTE] It definitely took effort and time. In early highschool I took the acne medication called Accutane and had to have blood taken every month. As you can imagine I wasn't too happy about that since I absolutely hated anything to do with needles. In the end, I forced myself to actually consider that the needles weren't hurting me. I had to get past the purely emotional response and logically convince myself of the real truth. After time it started to work. I found myself no longer worried about needles because I knew that they weren't going to hurt me.

[QUOTE=ElectricSquid;42749622]How did this work for you? I am in the same boat, and when I had to have anaesthetic administered about two months ago, they took out a big-ass needle and all I could do was look away and make myself laugh like a maniac to deal with it. It didn't help that it made my hand puffy afterwards.[/QUOTE] to add on to what sgman91 said, you need to find a coping mechanism that relaxes you enough that you can actually go through the experience in a constructive manner. for him, that was logically assessing the situation, and that is likely going to be helpful as a coping mechanism for most people. you can also use meditation, relaxation, or an emdr([url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing[/url]) exercise to get yourself into a more relaxed state during the experience. you can also use "practice meditation" to help you overcome the anxiety enough to start "reprogramming" the anxiety. this means simply thinking of the challenging situation as clearly and vividly as possible(try to incorporate all senses) and using other tools i'v described above to reduce the anxiety. after doing practice sessions you will feel more confident in the actual situation since your brain has gone through it with positive results several times before. after a couple of experiences with a needle and some good coping strategy the anxiety should be manageable enough that it won't seriously impede your ability to get injections or blood work done. after a few more and you probably won't even feel much anxiety at all in those situations.

[QUOTE=sgman91;42730358]I used to be deathly afraid of needles to the point where I would faint when getting blood taken, but I made an active choice to stop being afraid of it, and now me and needles are best buds.[/QUOTE] And now you do heroin

I guess one could get used to danger and fear, granted he hasn't died yet.

ya most fears are just your particular response to an unknown/little experienced situation, like when i was little i got stung by a lot of bees and was always really afraid of them for the longest time, then i got stung by a few bees a few years ago and it was nothing, i'm still afraid to go near their hives for good reason, but i don't go out of my way to freek out whenever a bee is on me. i also used to be super afraid of mushrooms till i actually learned all about them in bio in highschool, now i actually find them interesting

[QUOTE=Quark:;42732903]Used to be afraid of heights until I realized I'm not really in danger standing on the top of a tall building. Used to be terrified of public speaking until I started to do it and realized there's nothing to be afraid of, giving speeches in front of huge crowds is a piece of cake now. Also used to be afraid of larger dogs after being attacked pretty badly by one and having to kill it, but it was just a bad, wild dog.[/QUOTE] I'm kind of afraid of heights but only if people are around me, also if its a little windy cause a gust of wind might blow me off. And spiders, I kill on sight with them