My life is bro - General - Facepunch Forum

I am [b]loving[/b] this site. [quote]Today, I sat on my hand til it fell asleep then masturbated so it felt like a chick was doing it. Then, I sat on my hand til it fell asleep and made a sandwich so it tasted like a chick had made it. It was pretty chill.[/quote] [quote]Today, my girlfriends mom walked in on us having sex. I looked her in the eyes and finished like a boss.[/quote] [quote]Today, I realized woman backwards is sandwich.[/quote] [url]http://mylifeisbro.com/[/url]

Your Mom's dildo bro too?

[quote]Today, I got a text message from some guy asking why I broke up with Gabby. I don’t know Gabby, but i’m pretty sure it’s because she didn’t make me a sandwich. [/quote] [quote]Today, my girlfriend found out about my fuck buddy. We got in a fight, then had makeup sex. i ended the day with a threesome…that didnt involve either of them. [/quote] [quote]so i was getting a brojob from my girl while watching Lion King and i came on her forehead. I took my thumb, pushed it across her head and said “Simba.”[/quote] Wow....

[quote]Today I fucked some chick that calls herself “the cheetah”. Have you fucked a cheetah? Didn’t think so…MLIB[/quote]

[QUOTE]I went to this local concert to get some head, and the singer fell off the stage and broke his leg. I filled in for him and i got my dick sucked at the same time.[/QUOTE]

holy shit [quote]Today, I took a mean spill off a gnarly wave, but came out fine. it was definitely the work of broseidon, lord of the brocean. thanks bro.[/quote]

Reminds me of: [img]http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/logo.jpg[/img]

This would be funny if every update wasn't about the same thing and not made up

[quote]Today, I tried to change my password to “my dick”. The website said it was too long. [/quote] :smug:

[QUOTE=Glitch360;25564057]Wow....[/QUOTE] That simba one is amazing.

This shit is hilarious

[quote]so i was getting a brojob from my girl while watching Lion King and i came on her forehead. I took my thumb, pushed it across her head and said “Simba.”[/quote] Wasn't that in the drunk texting thread?

[QUOTE=kartarn;25564209]Reminds me of: [img_thumb]http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/logo.jpg[/img_thumb][/QUOTE] [IMG]http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/brohugbump_326.jpg[/IMG] pretty much sums it up people who rate box have never read SBHJ and also like men

[quote]Today my bro told me he wanted to fuck my girl. Even thou it was unchill I stayed chill. Later that week I slammed his slam piece of a bitch and ate all his poptarts….he was more pissed about the poptarts. [/quote]

I have bro-downs with my friends to see who can use the most bro-related words and hold a decent conversation/argument without cracking. This also involves name-tennis where we make up new bro names on the spot back and forth til someone blanks

bro-downs sounds like a mental illness to me.

[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;25564356]bro-downs sounds like a mental illness to me.[/QUOTE] nah bro they're totally chill the winner gets the ho-down

[quote]Today I fucked some chick that calls herself “the cheetah”. Have you fucked a cheetah? Didn’t think so…MLIB[/quote] lol?

this would be funny if it wasn't the exact same fictitious shit every single time [editline]22nd October 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=demoguy08;25564218]This would be funny if every update wasn't about the same thing and not made up[/QUOTE] or this

[QUOTE=Kalibos;25564382]this would be funny if it wasn't the exact same fictitious shit every single time [editline]22nd October 2010[/editline] or this[/QUOTE] has a bro ever told a story how it really is

[quote=][i][b]Zues is one chill motherfucker… ruler of Brolympus[/i][/b][/quote] Goddamn this is awesome :dance:

[quote]Today, I woke up to a naked chick. She gave me a blow job, while I ate Doritos. I let her eat some. Just kidding, she’s a bitch. MLIB [/quote] [quote]Today I got head while playing COD, I ended up getting a tactical nuke, and the nuke and I exploded at the same time. MLIB[/quote] [quote]Today, I turned on the air condition. It was chill. MLIB[/quote] [quote]Jonas Bros needa change their name…. They’re not bros [/quote] [quote]My girlfriend asked me why it was so cold in the apartment. I told her to STFU and make me a sandwich. The temperature is set to 69 degrees, which isn’t cold, it’s chill.[/quote] [quote]today, while playing pokemon, i caught a slowbro. it has a lax nature so i immediately taught it Attract and Swagger so it could fuck bitches. so chill. [/quote]

snippity snap

[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;25564356]bro-downs sounds like a mental illness to me.[/QUOTE] Yeah Daijitsu go see a Broctor about it bro

[quote]cool story, bro[/quote]

[QUOTE=yawmwen;25564245]That simba one is amazing.[/QUOTE] It's been pinched from "texts from last night"

Coolstory.

So one time I wanted to create a hosting company, and I wanted it to be for my bros, so I called it.. get this guys, I called it.. you listenin? get this.. I called it [b]BRO[/b]HOSTER [editline]22nd October 2010[/editline] my life is so bro I don't even know what to do with myself

bro

Today, one of my light bulbs burned out, so me and my bros just stopped using that room. MLIB