Detasseling: Or How I Pulled Out Corn Penises for Four Days - General

Well y'alls err pretty much cityfolk and whatnot, sos uh don' 'spect y'alls to know what the farm um talking 'bout when uh tell yuh uh went detasseling. QUICK SCIENCE LESSON TIME: A long time ago some guy discovered that if a corn plant designated for growing corn is fertilized by a corn plan modified to fertilize it better it makes better corn than if it were fertilized by itself, like what's supposed to happen in nature. Corn has a tassel, at the top, that grows the pollen that fertilizes the ear, all around the stalk. Female corn still grows the tassel and can ruin corn around it if it manages to fertilize it. It follows that the tassel needs to be pulled off, so it doesn't ruin the corn. This is called detasseling. I learned this all [B]in science class in the unit we had about corn.[/B] That's right, [B]we had an entire unit, about a month and a half, about corn.[/B] I live in Iowa, in case you hadn't noticed. Corn is sort of important. So they hire kids who are too stupid and too young to know how much it sucks, stick them on a bus, drive them out to the middle of corn field, and tell them to start castrating. I was one of those stupid kids. I'm never doing it again. So this is a warning, friends, to never get on the bus if the job you're looking at involves pulling corn penises. First of all, it tires you out. Each panel, or group of female plants between the male row, stretches out for about a half a mile. You have to look at each plant and find the stupid tassels and pull them out. You also have to do it three times, just to make sure you got them all, or four times if you did a crappy job. There are six rows of females in each panel, and each panel stretching for a half-acre equals an acre of corn. Second of all, it's ridiculous. They may go through and chop the tassels off of the tall ones first, but if they grow late you have to get every one. Also, apparently the first field we went to detassel was worth [B]over nine million dollars[/B]. That much, for corn. I see endless fields of this crap and I don't think it's worth that much. You can get a freaking ear for 25 cents at the farmer's market when it's done; I don't think, even if it is a bunch of corn, that it's worth that much. Anyway, corn sucks and is needy. Don't ever agree to detassel, even if it is "good money".

:gooncamp:

Wow.

Odd, I always thought most plants were androgynous.

sue them for exploiting minors for labour

thats just great

Should've let the corn impregnate you.

instead you should have attached thousands of these: [img]http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/816436/2/istockphoto_816436_colorful_condoms.jpg[/img]

That story made me corny.

so much corn in the world people even shit corn for gods sake you cant remove it from the world

[QUOTE=Muffinbuster;23422326]Also, apparently the first field we went to detassel was worth [B]over nine million dollars[/B]. That much, for corn. I see endless fields of this crap and I don't think it's worth that much. You can get a freaking ear for 25 cents at the farmer's market when it's done; I don't think, even if it is a bunch of corn, that it's worth that much.[/QUOTE] Subsidies, lol.

I saw the words "corn penises" and thought "cool!"

There should be more sugar grown in the US. So we can have more sodas with sugar in them. Fuckin' corn monopoly whatever the fuck.

[QUOTE=fish puncher;23426542]I saw the words "corn penises" and thought "cool!"[/QUOTE] your thoughts are extremely homosexual.

[QUOTE=CheeseMan;23422394]Odd, I always thought most plants were androgynous.[/QUOTE] Corn was, but then they bred it to be separate genders. Not very successfully though, as you can tell. [editline]02:10PM[/editline] [QUOTE=lockdown6;23422474]how is babby corn formed[/QUOTE] They need to do way instain mother> who pull thier tessal. becuse these tessal cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ia who had fertilize her three ears. they are throwing the three ear back to earth too lady to rot my pary are with the father who lost his tessal ; i am truley sorry for your lots of corn [editline]02:18PM[/editline] [QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;23422489]sue them for exploiting minors for labour[/QUOTE] See, that's the thing. The contractor I was working with said he paid each person at least ten bucks an hour. That's what I meant when I said people always say it's "good money". It's just sort of stupid and hard work. I don't even know how much I was paid yet.