Herman Cain: Liberals killed Jesus, the perfect Conservative
85 replies, posted
[URL="http://www.redstate.com/thehermancain/2010/12/20/the-perfect-conservative"]Red State[/URL]
[release]He was not born into a royal family, but He left a royal impression on the world.
For 30 years, He learned the ways of the world without becoming of the world.
He then changed the world for the better.
He led without a mandate. He taught without a script.
His common sense parables filled people with promise and compassion, His words forever inspiring.
He never condemned what others believed – just sin, evil and corruption.
He helped the poor without one government program. He healed the sick without a government health care system.
He feed the hungry without food stamps.
And everywhere He went, it turned into a rally, attracting large crowds, and giving them hope, encouragement and inspiration.
For three years He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check.
Nevertheless, he completed all the work He needed to get done. He didn’t travel by private jet.
He walked and sailed, and sometimes traveled on a donkey.
But they made Him walk when He was arrested and taken to jail, and no, He was not read any Miranda Rights.
He was arrested for just being who He was and doing nothing wrong.
And when they tried Him in court, He never said a mumbling word.He didn’t have a lawyer, nor did He care about who judged Him.
His judge was a higher power.
The liberal court found Him guilty of false offences and sentenced Him to death, all because He changed the hearts and minds of men with an army of 12.
His death reset the clock of time.Never before and not since has there ever been such a perfect conservative.
For over 2,000 years the world has tried hard to erase the memory of the perfect conservative, and His principles of compassion, caring and common sense.
His followers are now millions and millions the world over, as those who resent Him have intensified their attacks on who He was and what His followers believe.
The attacks are disguised as political correctness, or a misunderstanding of the First Amendment to the Constitution.
Separation of Church and State does not mean Separation of Church from State.
The State cannot impose Church on the people, but the people can display and say as much Church in the public square as they desire.
Our Founders recognized that distinction, which helped to inspire the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the founding of this nation – The United States of America!
We must be the Defending Fathers and the defenders of the perfect conservative.
That’s why I proudly wish one and all a very Merry Christmas![/release]
[url=http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/10/15/1026683/-Herman-Cain-Says-Liberals-Killed-Jesus]Daily Kos[/url]
[release]The Herminator has been getting a free pass as far as his previous positions, like when he ran for the Senate in Georgia by promising to ban abortion in cases of rape and incest.
But Herman is by nature a chatterbox, so there's bound to be many gems of wisdom to be found. And since his is a very conservative Baptist minister from Georgia, they are going to sound odd to those of us not who aren't blessed with a knowledge of ultraconservative culture in the Deep South.
Anyway, here's one of Herman's columns where he calls Jesus the "perfect conservative" who was killed by "liberals," and apparently the modern liberal anti-Christian bias that Cain perceives is just part of a two thousand year program of hatred of conservatives by the Christ-killing liberals.
Cain has been a fairly well known figure on the conservative scene for nearly 20 years, so there is a whole body of writing that has gone unexamined. Here's his "war on Christmas" column from last year. It came to my attention here
[url]http://www.northstarnational.com/2010/12/19/the-perfect-conservative/[/url]
(Jesus) helped the poor without one government program......He healed the sick without a government health care system. .....He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check.
I think there was some nepotism there, what with Jesus' dad being God and all. OK, fine, so Jesus was a wingnut who not want us to help others. Got it.
And as MrBigDaddy points out in the comments, Jesus did all that for free. Who is this "God" who interferes with letting the free market set prices? The first rule of the free market is that nothing in the market is free!
He was arrested and taken to jail, and no, He was not read any Miranda Rights. He was arrested for just being who He was and doing nothing wrong.
I'm not sure how to interpret that dog whistle. Jesus was a conservative and liberals hate giving people their Miranda rights? Maybe Herman was hitting the eggnog.
And why is this your Christmas column anyway, Herman? You're talking about Easter here. But I guess Christmas is the perfect day for culture war issues.
He didn’t have a lawyer,
Yeah because liberals won't let people have a lawyer I guess.
.....nor did He care about who judged Him.
But how could he be a conservative and not whing about "activist judges?"
And when they tried Him in court, He never said a mumbling word.
This turns out to be old spiritual song.
And then we get this pearl of wisdom
The liberal court found Him guilty of false offenses and sentenced Him to death, all because He changed the hearts and minds of men with an army of 12.....Never before and not since has there ever been such a perfect conservative.......For over 2,000 years the world has tried hard to erase the memory of the perfect conservative, and His principles of compassion, caring and common sense.
Anyway, blah blah blah...."political correctness"......"public square" ......"Founding Fathers"....blah blah.
What do the boys at RedState say? Interestingly, this was before they decided Cain was the man to free America from the oppression of reverse racism as inflicted on the white man by Barrack Hussein Obama, and they were at best rather lukewarm to Cain.[/release]
I'm flattered that I apparently possess the ability to kill the son of god himself.
Okay.
Herman Cain has officially jumped off the deep end.
[QUOTE=ewitwins;32839665]Okay.
Herman Cain has officially jumped off the deep end.[/QUOTE]
Officially?
[QUOTE=Atlascore;32839695]If anyone votes for him I'm giving up on humanity.[/QUOTE]
"Grr I'll give up on humanity because I have no one keeping me from seeing the good side of it! (I have no friends :c and am totally into this sensationalized media shit that makes the world look so bad!)"
wait wouldn't jesus be the perfect liberal
[QUOTE=Clementine;32839747]"Grr I'll give up on humanity because I have no one keeping me from seeing the good side of it! (I have no friends :c and am totally into this sensationalized media shit that makes the world look so bad!)"[/QUOTE]
I fail to see how direct quotes are sensationalized.
[editline]18th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=-nesto-;32839787]wait wouldn't jesus be the perfect liberal[/QUOTE]
He's the most left person there is.
[QUOTE=Atlascore;32839695]If anyone votes for him I'm giving up on humanity.[/QUOTE]
no you are not giving up on humanity because someone voted for a guy you dont like
no you are not giving up on humanity because apple sold a lot of phones/laptops/whatever
no you are not giving up on humanity because a video game got banned or some shit
no you are not giving up on humanity because some bad parent hit their kid
why wont people shut the hell up and stop saying "ive lost my faith in humanity"? normally i dont get pissed at stupid shit like this but its in EVERY GODDAMN THREAD
Ironically, Liberalism meant 'to be free of'. So his statement is basically a paradox.
For over 2,000 years the world has tried hard to erase the memory of the perfect conservative, and His principles of compassion, caring and common sense.
Why do repubs ignore history books. Shits like garlic to a vampire
That’s why I proudly wish one and all a very Merry Christmas!
Man its october. What the fuck you doin
[QUOTE=-nesto-;32839827]
Man its october. What the fuck you doin[/QUOTE]
He actually said it December of last year, but daily kos brought it up.
Ah good to know thanks
yes, he fed the poor and healed the sick with magical powers.... so is this the conservative equivalent to welfare and universal healthcare?
Republicans being batshit insane and disconnected with the world.
Nothing new to see here.
Conservative Christian is an oxymoron since they aren't very Christlike at all.
well he definitely lost my vote!!
I really honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry at the mental state, let alone political calibre of basically all these conservative candidates.
I live in a different country so I'll laugh.
I.
What.
Seriously, what.
[QUOTE=thisispain;32840153]well he definitely lost my vote!![/QUOTE]
did he have your vote to start with
[QUOTE]For 30 years, He learned the ways of the world without becoming of the world.[/quote]
... [I]What?[/I]
[quote]He then changed the world for the better.[/quote]
I thought conservatives were [I]against[/I] change.
[quote]He led without a mandate. He taught without a script.[/quote]
Oh god they won't let this imagined teleprompter issue rest, will they.
[quote]He never condemned what others believed – just sin, evil and corruption.[/quote]
Yeah! So conservative! Conservatives [B]NEVER[/B] condemn others for different beliefs, or for harmless actions they arbitrarily call 'sinful'. And they certainly never take part in corruption, No sir.
[quote]He helped the poor without one government program. He healed the sick without a government health care system.
He feed the hungry without food stamps.[/quote]
Wow! And how did he do this?
Oh yeah, [B][I]motherfucking MAGIC[/I][/B]. So, the conservative way is to just pray and hope the problems fix themselves?
[quote]And everywhere He went, it turned into a rally, attracting large crowds, and giving them hope, encouragement and inspiration.[/quote]
And yet, whenever Obama does the same, you assholes call him the Antichrist or Hitler.
[quote]For three years He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check.[/quote]
1. Again, magic.
2. [I]He lived in the fucking desert.[/I]
3. What about that whole 'carpenter' thing?
[quote]Nevertheless, he completed all the work He needed to get done. He didn’t travel by private jet.[/quote]
[B]NOBODY DID BACK THEN, BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T EXIST YET.[/B]
[quote]He walked and sailed, and sometimes traveled on a donkey.[/quote]
Guess what, so did motherfucking everybody else in the world.
[quote]But they made Him walk when He was arrested and taken to jail, and no, He was not read any Miranda Rights.
He was arrested for just being who He was and doing nothing wrong.[/quote]
Yeah, them liberals just love sending people to jail without due trial and for arbitrary reasons. Nope, there's no way that it's the other way around.
[quote]And when they tried Him in court, He never said a mumbling word.He didn’t have a lawyer, nor did He care about who judged Him.[/quote]
Oh man, [I]everybody[/I] had ancient Egyptian lawyers back then, he was really at a disadvantage
Why do I get the feeling that conservatives take "The Flintstones" as being a documentary?
[quote]The liberal court found Him guilty of false offences and sentenced Him to death, all because He changed the hearts and minds of men with an army of 12.[/quote]
Yes, yes, it's the [I]liberals[/I] crying out for the death sentence. Especially for hippies like Jesus, liberals [I]hate[/I] hippies.
[quote]His death reset the clock of time.Never before and not since has there ever been such a perfect conservative.[/quote]
I don't think you know how calendars work. Or time. Or clocks.
"Ugh, I don't want to get up... I want to hit the snooze button, but I don't have any Jews to murder... oh well, I guess I can't reset the alarm now."
And what the fuck do calendars have to do with conservatism.
[quote]For over 2,000 years the world has tried hard to erase the memory of the perfect conservative, and His principles of compassion, caring and common sense.[/quote]
Yeah, damn those crusaders, inquisitors, and missionaries for trying to get rid of Christianity.
And what the fuck do compassion, caring, and common sense have to do with conservatism? You guys hate helping the poor and downtrodden, and you honestly think that money 'trickles down'.
[quote]His followers are now millions and millions the world over, as those who resent Him have intensified their attacks on who He was and what His followers believe.[/quote]
Oh man, we outnumber practically everybody else, we're so fucking oppressed.
[quote]The attacks are disguised as political correctness, or a misunderstanding of the First Amendment to the Constitution. [/quote]
Letting people believe what they want and not letting you force your beliefs on others, are attacks on Christianity and merely 'political correctness'?
And why is it that politicians are arguing [I]against[/I] political correctness, anyway? Do they not like being correct in politics? Which is their field of work?
[quote]Separation of Church and State does not mean Separation of Church from State.
The State cannot impose Church on the people, but the people can display and say as much Church in the public square as they desire.[/quote]
So, the state can't impose religion on people, and people are allowed to freely practice their beliefs without getting arrested...
So... separation of church from state?
I don't think he understands what the word 'and' means. 'And' can be used as a logical operator to apply an action to two things. For instance, separating something. Separation of Church AND State implies that the Church is separated from the State and the State is separated from the Church. Also, you can't really have one thing separated from another without the latter being separated from the former. Otherwise, they wouldn't be separate.
[quote]Our Founders recognized that distinction, which helped to inspire the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the founding of this nation – The United States of America![/quote]
Oh man, the Founding Fathers founded The United States of America? I had no fucking idea.
And odd that you guys reference 'The Founders' for all of your beliefs but completely disregard Jefferson.
[quote]We must be the Defending Fathers and the defenders of the perfect conservative.[/quote]
"Somebody wants to be muslim, or even worse, [I]atheist[/I]!? Oh god, protect Jegus!
Again: Herman Cain is a cyborg who downloads political views from the particularly stupid sections of the internet.
No words describe how bad this is. So..... I would just do a double facepalm. Since this is beyond stupidity. Hell, this makes Bachmann look smart, and that says something. Wait, Bachmann is going to say something even more stupid than this.
I watched an evangelical TV show once where they claimed Jesus was against corporate taxation and for the free market.
I don't remember that part of the bible.
Spreading new ideas around the land, enacting radical change in people's thoughts and belief structures. How conservative.
um if youve actually read the bible jesus is a huge liberal
But Jesus was [i]all about[/i] reform. He basically pissed off the "old guard" so much that they all got together to ensure his death through pure political pressure.
[QUOTE=Pace.;32840512]um if youve actually read the bible jesus is a huge liberal[/QUOTE]
Oh you, republicans don't read the bible, they just claim they do so stupid people will vote for them.
Jesus was a hardcore socialist.
[quote]Luke 18:25 “For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”[/quote]
now let's think about this phrase
camel: [img]http://fohn.net/camel-pictures-facts/the-pictures/Arabian-Camel.jpg[/img]
eye of needle: [img]http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/people/klf/MicroGalleryLarge_files/Needle-Foram.jpg[/img]
some (mostly American) people think that there used to be gates called 'eye's of needles' which allowed camels to barely pass, so rich people [I]could[/I] enter heaven. this is bullshit, and most theological academics agree.
Jesus was all about equality, washing the feet of all like a common slave, even though in the book he was their god
hermain cain what the fuck are you doing
[quote]The liberal court found Him guilty of false offences and sentenced Him to death[/quote]
yup you got us, all this talk about abolishing the death penalty is so we can wait until jesus comes back to [B]kill him[/B] right?
[editline]18th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Pace.;32839796]no you are not giving up on humanity because someone voted for a guy you dont like
no you are not giving up on humanity because apple sold a lot of phones/laptops/whatever
no you are not giving up on humanity because a video game got banned or some shit
no you are not giving up on humanity because some bad parent hit their kid
why wont people shut the hell up and stop saying "ive lost my faith in humanity"? normally i dont get pissed at stupid shit like this but its in EVERY GODDAMN THREAD[/QUOTE]
your post had made me lose faith in humanity
[editline]18th October 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=TheDecryptor;32840495]I watched an evangelical TV show once where they claimed Jesus was against corporate taxation and for the free market.
I don't remember that part of the bible.[/QUOTE]
i think that was the Gospel of Reagan
that awkward moment when herman cain doesn't realize that the founding fathers hated niggers
like a LOT
Need some more popcorn, the Republicans are putting up a good show thusfar.
[QUOTE=ForgottenKane;32841282]Need some more popcorn, the Republicans are putting up a good show thusfar.[/QUOTE]
It's getting more amusing the closer to the election you're getting.
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