• I need help quickly FP!
    132 replies, posted
Ok, I know facepunch is not a doctor but frankly i do not have time to go to the doctor right now. Earlier i was at my desk working on a project for my zoology class and which required the use of super glue. So i finished my project about a hour ago. So i work tonight and decided to fap before i went. So in the middle of faping my phone rings. I reach over without looking to turn it off and thought it felt weird but was in the zone and didn't look into this. As soon as my hand reached my penis i knew something was terribly wrong. I go to pull my hand away and find that it is stuck. To my horror i realize i have super glued my hand to my penis. I have to work in one fucking hour and i need to get this off quick. Help FP please i am seriously freaking out right now. TL;DR- I work in a hour and my hand is super glued to my penis [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Trolling" - Greeman))[/highlight]
Troll detected...a funny one though. Thanks for the laugh
We can't help you on this, We only actually answer question if people are sick. And the only answer i give you.... Get to the doctor.... FAST. [editline]02:24AM[/editline] God dammit i fell for a troll.
I suggest you amputate.
*looks at join date*
Oh and if your penis is stuck to your hand. How did you type all of this?
then who was phone?
[QUOTE=UserDerth;20789922]We can't help you on this, We only actually answer question if people are sick. And the only answer i give you.... Get to the doctor.... FAST. [editline]02:24AM[/editline] God dammit i fell for a troll.[/QUOTE] No dude you're the only one who will actually help. I made this account cause i was too embarrassed. I really need help i don't have time to go to a doctor right now. I just tried soaking it in hot water and it didn't fucking help fuck fuck fuck.
Cut-off prevention :cheers:
use this [img]http://www.mowersplus.com.au/images/gallery/talon-hedger_lg.png[/img] [editline]asdfa[/editline] it wont hurt i promise
Fap again since it's already down there
If this is serious, call in sick. Say you're in a sticky situation and can't come in.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20789978]No dude you're the only one who will actually help. I made this account cause i was too embarrassed. I really need help i don't have time to go to a doctor right now. I just tried soaking it in hot water and it didn't fucking help fuck fuck fuck.[/QUOTE] Then we can't help you.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20789978]No dude you're the only one who will actually help. I made this account cause i was too embarrassed. I really need help i don't have time to go to a doctor right now. I just tried soaking it in hot water and it didn't fucking help fuck fuck fuck.[/QUOTE] Super glue is designed to not stick to skin. And even if it somehow did, it would be easy to detach since it would take a layer of skin away.
[QUOTE=Strongbad;20789995]Call in sick. Say you're in a sticky situation and can't come in.[/QUOTE] No dude if i miss work one more time i'm going to get fired i already used all my sick days. I need help badly i can't fucking miss work again. I need this job.
Apply liberal amounts of bengay to both your penis and your balls, followed by the hottest hot sauce you have in your possession.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20790013]No dude if i miss work one more time i'm going to get fired i already used all my sick days. I need help badly i can't fucking miss work again. I need this job.[/QUOTE] Don't lie to him this time.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20789887] 2 Posts[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=UserDerth;20790033]Don't lie to him this time.[/QUOTE] Dude i didn't fucking lie the other times. Oh god i'm fucked. Is there absolutely no way to get rid of this? Will the bengay really work?
[QUOTE=Nyther;20790054]Will the bengay really work?[/QUOTE] Facepunch does not lie.
wear loose pants and cut a hole in one of the pockets (depending on which arm it is). Although you might also have to temporarily cut the belt line near one of the pockets of them to put your hand through, considering your inability to separate those body parts. On a serious note i most definitely recommend labeling yourself as sick and then calling for professional assistance. Make sure not to make any harsh movements with your attached arm in unnatural directions for your reproductive organ. Or at the very least attempt any of the solutions that would counter the effect of the glue.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20790054]Dude i didn't fucking lie the other times. Oh god i'm fucked. Is there absolutely no way to get rid of this? Will the bengay really work?[/QUOTE] Yeah, this happened to me once before. The bengay works like a charm.
I got a part of my hand loose, But now i'm bleeding fuck. My friend suggested nail polish remover is there any truth to this?
This is for fingers (or something like that). Follow and Win Mah Boi. 1 Soak the affected area in warm, soapy water. Use a mild soap or dishwashing liquid. Step 2 Roll or wiggle the skin gently with your fingers to see if the glue will separate painlessly. Use a spatula or something similar to help with this process. Step 3 Apply antibiotic ointment or petroleum jelly to the area of the skin where the super glue is stuck, then gently file away at the glue with a nail file to break the glue up. Step 4 Put fingernail polish remover containing acetone on the area. Be aware that the polish remover may stain or discolor certain materials. Move the skin slowly, never forcing or peeling it away. Step 5 Rub lotion onto the area once the super glue is removed.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20790103]I got a part of my hand loose, But now i'm bleeding fuck. My friend suggested nail polish remover is there any truth to this?[/QUOTE] No, you need to pour lemonade on the wound.
[QUOTE=Nyther;20790103]I got a part of my hand loose, But now i'm bleeding fuck. My friend suggested nail polish remover is there any truth to this?[/QUOTE] If you really aren't a troll, then yes nail polish remover will help loosen the glue.
This is real? Not a troll? Oh I.....I-uh.... Ummmm... O-o-ok.... This may sound gross but your going to have to Pee on it.... That should do he trick if not/you can't then...assuming you don't live in your own house ask your parents....I know there will be some discussions about it later but I honestly don't think you have a choice!
[QUOTE=LiveGrenade;20790125]This is for fingers. Follow and Win Mah Boi. 1 Soak the affected area in warm, soapy water. Use a mild soap or dishwashing liquid. Step 2 Roll or wiggle the skin gently with your fingers to see if the glue will separate painlessly. Use a spatula or something similar to help with this process. Step 3 Apply antibiotic ointment or petroleum jelly to the area of the skin where the super glue is stuck, then gently file away at the glue with a nail file to break the glue up. Step 4 Put fingernail polish remover containing acetone on the area. Be aware that the polish remover may stain or discolor certain materials. Move the skin slowly, never forcing or peeling it away. Step 5 Rub lotion onto the area once the super glue is removed.[/QUOTE] Oh fucking god thank you man, I'm going to try this now.
Ok NOW go and tell him your sick, Since bleeding will not get you fired.
ugh you guys really? bengay stings like shit, lemonade on wounds its like salt or alcohol, best thing to do is really to just to work it off slowly.
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