• I drank a capuccino and shat pure stone
    108 replies, posted
Oh god I can barely sit. So, today I went to buy a capuccino for the first time. The first one I made was... bad. Terrible. "I must have done something wrong" I thought. Yep, waaaay too much water, so I made a new one with the right quantity of water. Biggest error of my life. After some minutes a nuke exploded in my belly right when I was finishing a game of CS. I kicked open the bathroom door and sit in the toilet. Everything was quiet. Then, the war started. I farted the biggest, strongest and loudest fart I've ever heard. In fact, I think it was the loudest fart ANYONE's ever heard. Hell, even the almighty Thor came down from the fucking heavens to shake my hand. After the bombardment was over, the tanks came in. Oh god, the pain. It was the most horrible experience I've ever had in my entire life. I wasn't brave enough at that time to get up and look what I gave birth to. After 15 minutes, I decided to get up. My anus was bleeding like an open wound, and when I was finished cleaning up I tried to walk a little. I almost fell to my knees. I had to crawl to my room and try to sit. It hurt a lot. More than you can imagine. And now I'm writing this with my anus still bleeding and with some toilet paper to clean it. I hate capuccinos. tl;dr: [IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/t99oc0.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/rm8pcg.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/2mh7vbn.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/etw8qp.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/2v97u4p.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/30wme1j.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/6z0nj5.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/10gxx5u.png[/IMG]
What The Fuck, [img]http://i41.tinypic.com/t99oc0.png[/img] Mickey Mouse?
What the flying fuck?
tl;dr is longer
awesome
you must have been stoned :smug:
Hilarious!
[QUOTE=Analtrickery;21488566]What The Fuck, *image* Mickey Mouse?[/QUOTE] your shit story has puzzled a person named analtrickery congratulations
your shit looks like a spacecraft [editline]08:02PM[/editline] or a train
Haven't laughed so hard at a thread in ages
You should of stuck a bottle of water up your arse and liquefied the shit
[QUOTE=radioactive;21488708]You should of stuck a bottle of water up your arse and liquefied the shit[/QUOTE] or taken the handle side of a tooth brush and shoved it up his butthole and stabbed the shit into little pieces
nice.
Man up.
I can't drink any coffee other than decaf, caffeinated coffee has the same effect on me. Not that I really like coffee that much anyway.
[QUOTE=Roll_Program;21488745]Man up.[/QUOTE] You didn't see that fucking monster
I hope I never have to experience profuse anal bleeding, or shitting a stone, for that matter.
Pretty funny, tbh.
haha oh shit son
Did your shit damage your toilet?
[img]http://i44.tinypic.com/6z0nj5.png[/img] It's a fucking airplane!
Either it was shitty cappucino or your stomach cannot handle caffeine Or then it was something else. Have you eaten enough fibers lately?
What happens if the residual shit gets in your bloodstream? [editline]09:23PM[/editline] [img]http://i44.tinypic.com/etw8qp.png[/img] It's hitler. [editline]09:24PM[/editline] Why are you wearing a jester hat while playing CS1.6?
Oh my god, I know what it feels like, it takes years of therapy to recover from what I saw in that toilet.
cool pooping story
Excellent thread.
lets now discuss the op's pooping story...
You had violent diarrhoea congratulations, have a prize!
Holy shit, ending pic made me lol hard.
[I]Shit[/I] thread
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