Now that's a good idea: Drunk man crashes into a carport, covers self in poop to elude police, faile
17 replies, posted
[release][h2]Man covers self in poop to elude police[/h2]
[url=http://www.the33tv.com/news/kcpq-man-covers-self-in-poop-to-elude-police-20110804,0,3518312.story][b]//Source:[/b] The 33 News[/url]
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[img]http://media.trb.com/media/alternatethumbnails/story/2011-08/177368520-04162018.jpg[/img]
Andy Dufresne, the memorable character from "The Shawshank Redemption," has nothing on Gordon Flavia, 56, of Longview.
You may remember Dufresne escaped prison by crawling through 500 yards of sewage to reach the other side of the wall.
Flavia wasn't as lucky in his escape attempt — although he was likely just as smelly.
Tuesday afternoon Longview police officers responded to a report that a man had smashed his vehicle into a carport, totaling the car and carport. By the time the police arrived, they found the car but there was no sign of the driver.
According to The Daily News, Flavia had thrown his car into reverse and sped backward at a high speed, Longview Police Sgt. Doug Kazensky told the newspaper.
"It looks like alcohol was involved," added Sgt. Ed Jones.
But it didn't take long for the cops to follow his trail — mainly because it was hard to avoid the stench, said Sgt. John Reeves — as officers found Flavia hiding in a nearby Port-o-Potty.
"He had splashed some of the fluid on himself," Reeves said.
It seems that Flavia thought the police had a K-9 with them and that by smearing a little feces on himself, he would be able to elude the canine by throwing off his scent.
Turns out that the police did not have a K-9 with them and even if they did, Reeves said he was unsure whether the poop-smearing technique implemented by Flavia would have worked in throwing a police dog off his trail.
And if you think the police tossed Flavia in one of their patrol cars once they nabbed him, think again — they called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital for blood alcohol tests.
Flavia could face DUI and hit-and-run charges.[/release]
[img]http://sae.tweek.us/static/images/emoticons/emot-wtc.gif[/img]
What a [i]shitty[/i] situation.
E: Must've thought the get-away would be a [i]piece of piss[/i].
[img]http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Film/Pix/pictures/2009/4/24/1240588790585/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-in--002.jpg[/img]
They can't see me, I'm invisible to their infrared, and now to escape through this drainage pipe....
If there's any time for a sad trombone sound effect, it's now.
I guess you can say...
[i]The shit hit the fan[/i]
YEAHHHHHHH!
I guess something something [I]shitty[/I]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WWRVK.jpg[/IMG]
Something something [I]shit![/I]
[B]EDIT:[/B] We've all seen the "shit" puns before.
What a [i]fucking insane person[/i]
Haha poop. :v:
These puns are really shitty.
I've had some pretty bad ideas while drunk, but that's really something.
That's pretty [I]stupid.[/I]
If that was me in that situation, I might have [i]crapped my pants[/i].
Bad one.
News featuring shit should be banned from sensationalist headlines
[QUOTE=mac338;31545226]If there's any time for a sad trombone sound effect, it's now.[/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC75aU47GRk[/media]
[QUOTE=Croix;31546139]News featuring shit should be banned from sensationalist headlines[/QUOTE]
what is your problem
:w-hat:
"So Jeffery, how'd you try to evade the cops?"
"Well, I was in a breakneck speed chase with them cops for a good hour or so before I dove out and ran on foot, evading them for Lord knows how long before they found me. It took seven of them fuckers to take me down."
"Wow, that's heroic man. What about you Andy?"
"Well I tried to cover myself in human feces to try to throw their K-9 units off."
*Entire prison proceeds to punch him most furiously*
I guess you could say his plans of avoiding the cops went down the shitter.
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