The Origins of the Human Race and Why McDonalds Must Never Be Put Out of Business

[Con Fett]

Below is a bisection of the earth.

[img]http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/1761/lulz1.png[/img]

Everything looks fine, right? But what are all of those little dots...

Those are midgets.

Just gonna give you a moment to take that all in. Take a deep breath, and we'll proceed with a logical breakdown of this theory, no matter how silly it may appear at first glance.

Let's carry on, then. Next diagram.

[img]http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/2589/lulz2.png[/img]

This diagram demonstrates the basic principles of what we will from now on call the "midget cycle". Midgets, which live under the earth's crust, exit the area by means of volcanic eruptions. They then eat at McDonalds, where they get fat enough to sink back down into the "dieting zone", a thick layer of dieting experts that will cluck their tongues at you. Once the midgets have properly dieted, they are naturally displaced by fatter midgets, and once again exit by means of volcanic explosions. This may not seem much up close, but let's look at it from a bit farther.

[img]http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/3866/lulz3.png[/img]

The midget cycle is actually what keeps the earth's tectonic plates moving. If there was any hindrance to this cycle, such as the death of the McDonalds chain, teconic plate movement would slow down significantly. One way or another, the midgets would find a way to get fat and sink back down to the dieting zone, but you see, it would certainly take them much longer without the convenience of McDonalds.
But you're probably wonder, what are all of those midgets doing underground?

Well, they were banished from the surface of the earth by their own creation: us. Biological experiments performed during Midget World War II resulted in what they called the "supermidget". The only trait seperating midgets from supermidgets was their height. The supermidgets' height advantage, however, not only escalated the scale of the war (literally) to a new level, but also helped the supermidgets use military might to claim to earth for themselves, ignoring the midgets' former private property distributions. Thus, midgets were forced to flee under the earth, and now reside there, moving tectonic plates.

Any questions?

[gerard]

Shocking discovery. :eng101:

[Supper_In_Turn]

Nigger.

[Con Fett]

It's gonna be all over the news soon.

[Ronin]

So our mantle is made up of little people?

So they must all be running in one direction to make our earth spin, MIRACULOUS!

[cornndog]

This man deserves the Nobel piece prize.

[Con Fett]

[QUOTE=BANNED USER;16358388]So our mantle is made up of little people?

So they must all be running in one direction to make our earth spin, MIRACULOUS![/QUOTE]

Doesn't it all make sense now?

[Limerick]

I'm eating midgets?
[img]http://ts1.images.live.com/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=973647390336&id=8ff632870afe50143ed113939c0abe9f&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.progarchives.com%2fforum%2fuploads%2f18240%2flolwut.jpg[/img]
Well they taste good, so therefore I couldn't give a fuck.

[lmaoboat]

Trying too hard; feels forced, imo.

[NinjaPanda]

My God you're a genius.

Take this to the news!

[detectivep]

Fits in with FSM theory.