Took a shit and puked on my pants, teachers had to help take off my cloth - General

So today I had the worsest day of my entire [B]FUCKING[/B] life. I seriusly don't want to live anymore since every guy and girl ins chool knows about this now and almost 20-40 people saw my butt and other personal body parts for minutes! My fucking day... I wanna tell this to Facepunch so they don't do as I do and this might sound weird and very disturbing. Okay, I was having a winning contest with 4 of my friends that was all about EATING CHOCOLATE. We all paid for all teh chocolate and the guy that could eat the most won all the money that all the sweets costs total. So I came 2nd as I ate 13 chocolates (what the fuck it's now called). And the winning guy ate 16 of 'em. [B]20 minutes later, after an heroic 2nd place...[/B] I was starting to feel weird and of course it's because I ate so much chocolate. I was in my classroom and we all talked about the show that happened in the hall. And at the same time I was having panic because I had to take a shit and I just ran out of the room! And outside I met the girl (that I love) and QUICKLY I said "I need to go to the restroom, wait!!, in swedish tough... When I finally came in to the restroom I was having an amasing shit, I bet you guys know how it feels like after eating loots of food or sweets. When I pushed so hard to get the shit out I was feeling that something was coming out of my mouth and I stoped pushing, untill I couldn't resist to take the shit and I pushed as hard as I could. And here comes the disturbing part... I puked all over my pants and the floor and also got shit on my shoes and all over the fucking table!!!! As I was lying there crying and said to myself "Omg please don't let this happen PLEAAAASEEEE!" I was begging to God wich I've never believed in because I was so desperate after help. [B]2 hours later...[/B] I knew I couldn't just clean my pants and all my stuff because it had dark spots all over it and I was thinking of sneeking out of the school without being noticed. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and said "Joakim, why have you been there for hours, has something happened?" - I didn't answered, but after a short time I said quietly "I need help". - And he said "Open the door and I can help you, should I bring the janitor or a teacher?" And as I slowly opened the door and my heart started to rush like hell he just stod there... starring at me. And I knew, that this would be the worst day in my whole fucking life. He was actully kind and helped me and told me to stay there while he was bringing someone to help (an adult). As I still was crying some other people heard it and found me and soon many people came so did the teacher, I stod there covering my male parts with my hands and arms. I slowly took on my pants that wehere full of shit. The teacher helped get out of there as fast as I could they had to give me other cloths and I still there was those fucking assholes that where starring into the window while I was changing cloths... I was walking fast down teh street to catch the EARLIEST bus so no one could come with me. Now I've told my parents that I don't "Feel good about the school and would like to switch to a different one". Remember, never [B]EVER[/B] shit when you gotto puke!!!! [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Get a blog" - Orkel))[/highlight]

Totally not made up.

I uhh, uh, well... It could have been worse?

Shitty day.

Talk about a [i]load of shit.[/i]

Joakim thinks your thread is informative. Anyways, I am rating winner on the far off chance that you may have actually shit yourself. If you held together that good then you have some real balls and deserve a medal. What type of chocolate? I need to get a box so I can beat records.

[QUOTE=Chernobyl426;32747563]Joakim thinks your thread is informative. Anyways, I am rating winner on the far off chance that you may have actually shit yourself. If you held together that good then you have some real balls and deserve a medal. What type of chocolate? I need to get a box so I can beat records.[/QUOTE] I don't know if tehy exist in USA but they where called "Marabou milk chocolate".

[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;32747504]Shitty day.[/QUOTE] Shitty thread.

[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;32747504]Shitty day.[/QUOTE] Shitty pun.

[QUOTE=Recco;32747634]Shitty pun.[/QUOTE] shitty post

[QUOTE=MrParalegal;32747647]shitty post[/QUOTE] shitty life

Damn. That sucks, sorry to hear. I would've moved school if I was in your position. :o

[QUOTE=The bird Man;32747730]shitty life[/QUOTE] shitty shit

I once peed myself in the middle of a monster anxiety attack during a movie in history.

Dude. You ate around 2,5 kg of chocolate. No wonder you had to puke. Not that you day wasn't complete utter shit, but it's understandable that you puked when you ate THAT much chocolate.