[Constructive Critisism] Rough Draft Story WIP (Presented in Parts)

[Phobos001]

I am writing a series of Chapters (And due to positive feedback from my friends, might be published as a polished book someday!) under a story called "Nathan".

[quote]Nathan - The cutest, most adorable little Psychopath you will ever meet! He loves flowers, cookies, sunshine and happiness. However, he also has a small, unusual problem that involves killing people...[/quote]

Here is a list of parts I have finished so far. Send feedback to either [email][e-mail][/email] , [url]http://www.youtube.com/phobos001[/url] , or my blog at [url]http://phobos001.blogspot.com[/url], OR type in a thingamajig down below.

[i]EDIT: Some quick notes: This is supposed to be a funny kind of story, because I don't like making anything that is Super Serious. I know that doesn't excuse my errors in the writing, but these are rough drafts of chapters. I know, I know, the first part isn't that funny. Well future parts are richer in the comedic factor, so go read those if you want a chuckle or two...Or maybe you didn't find it funny at all, and had nightmares. That might not be funny to you, but it is to me. *Evil Laughter*

Oh, and Constructive-Criticism please. It makes me happy, and less homicidal. :)[/i]

[b]The first copy of this thread in General Discussion will now be forgotten and will not be missed. It will also be locked very soon, hopefully.[/b]

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Finished Chapters
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(Part 1) Hide and Seek:
[url]http://sharetext.org/E9GX[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2ybub9[/url]

Illustration: [url]http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/2...2yhoc9.png[/url]

(Part 2) Movie Night:
[url]http://sharetext.org/CQU5[/url]
[url]http://justpaste.it/4q5[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yj707[/url]

(Part 3) New Friend:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_newfriend[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yml9c[/url]

(Part 4) An Apology...:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_apology[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2yr5jr[/url]

(Part 5) Back to School!:
[url]http://justpaste.it/nathan_backtoschool[/url]
[url]http://phobos001.deviantart.com/#/d2z644j[/url]

Halloween Illustration: [url]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/252/e/5/nathan__s_halloween_by_phobos001-d2yegvw.png[/url]

[b] To the Moderators, If I did something wrong in my post, notify me and I will edit it. [/b]