• Man Commits Suicide After Learning Harry Potter Spoiler
    48 replies, posted
[quote]A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling movie, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." 

 Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live." 

 Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston's house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter - and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate. 

 "When Jude got that vanity license plate that said 'Hogwarts,' that seemed harmless enough," said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. "But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help." 

 According to friends of Mr. Ralston, the Potter fanatic had done everything in his power to protect himself from stumbling across Potter plot spoilers, even disconnecting his computer from the Internet and avoiding his favorite vintage comic book store. 

 Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston's death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place. 

 "In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one," she said. 

 Elsewhere, stocks rallied on news of Goldman Sachs' joint venture with Satan[/quote] I can see this happening with the Twilight series, but Harry Potter? Really? [url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/man-commits-suicide-after_b_231271.html[/url]
How pathetic.
What a loser. Seriously, what kind of pathetic life did he have that he had to end himself over it?
I was listening to Hey Jude while reading this. [quote][b]"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one," she said. 

[/b][/quote] Fucking lol'd.
We can afford to lose these people.
Snape kills ralstondore
How can people be heavily devoted to something that they have to take their own life if something goes pairshaped. Also do you have a link to the source? Some people like clicking links too!
Natural selection
i don't believe it unless there's a source
The movie is based off a four year old book how is anything in it still a spoiler :psyduck:
No source? [img]http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-2/the-onion-logo.jpg[/img]
Uhm, why hasn't he read the book yet? also, source plx
[quote]Elsewhere, stocks rallied on news of Goldman Sachs' joint venture with Satan[/quote] Onion.
[quote]"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one,"[/quote] :cawg: That made my day. Obviously fake anyway.
[QUOTE=Re-Con;16128296]i don't believe it unless there's a source[/QUOTE] Sorry forgot [url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/man-commits-suicide-after_b_231271.html[/url]
[QUOTE=Re-Con;16128296]i don't believe it unless there's a source[/QUOTE] That.
Where's the original news article? edit: Oh, ninja'd Huffington post, I still find that place to be a tad iffy. but a joke nevertheless anyways
So he loved Harry Potter but didn't read the books? You'd think if he loved the series that much, he would have read the books and already know what happened. Or maybe he did read them, but didn't want to hear anything specific about the movie. Well whatever the case, I feel sorry for those that cared about him, but he did something extremely stupid and unnecessary over something as trivial as this.
...if he was such a huge Harry Potter fan, then why hadn't he read it in the book? Really.
[url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/man-commits-suicide-after_b_231271.html[/url] [quote]Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."[/quote] So yeah, it's a joke.
the huffington post what a great source
There's being a fan of something and then there's strangely obsessing over something. I mean really, what the hell?
[b]wat[/b] [editline]1337[/editline] "In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one," she said. 

 lol
I hope this person didn't have kids. Natural selection works once again.
So he's a rabid fan for Harry Potter, but never read the books? :confused:
[QUOTE=Re-Con;16128348]the huffington post what a great source[/QUOTE] This is one of their humorists. Just because it's a liberal site doesn't mean they don't have any actual news, which is what you're thinking. [editline]08:12PM[/editline] [highlight]this is a fucking joke[/highlight]
Darwin wins again! Gene pool, thank yourself for self cleansing...
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Did he not read the book?
Saw this 2 years ago.
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