Since Christmas day is about here, I think it would be quite appropriate to celebrate it the stoner way. Basically take any Christmas song and change the lyrics to be about drugs.
Original Version:
[quote]You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming
Santa Claus is coming
Santa Claus is coming
To town[/quote]Drug Version:
[quote]Don't you dare pass out
You better be high
Better have pot and
I'm telling you why
The Rasta man is coming to town
He rolls a joint
And licks it twice;
Always finding out who's smoking something nice,
The Rasta man is coming to town
He sees what you are you're smoking
He knows just how it tastes
He knows if it is swag or dank
And he knows if shit is laced
Don't you dare pass out
Your gonna get high
Go get your pot and
I'm telling you why
The Rasta man is coming
The Rasta man is coming
The Rasta man is coming
To toke[/quote]I just had to do a quick recording of it. Not too great but at least I won't obsessed over recording it.
[URL="http://www.facepunch.com/"]Listen to Soundcloud recording[/URL]
[URL]http://soundcloud.com/pepin/the-rasta-man-is-coming-to-town[/URL]
So just change some lyrics. For some reason it's very easy with Christmas songs. There should be some quite funny results.
[I]On the first day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
A fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the second day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the third day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Seven bags o' speed,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Eightball of coke,
Seven bags o' speed,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Nine bottles of coedine,
Eightball of coke,
Seven bags o' speed,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Ten mg's of D-M-T,
Nine bottles of codeine,
Eightball of coke,
Seven bags o' sped,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Eleven pipes that rip,
Ten mgs of D-M-T,
Nine bottles of codeine ,
Eightball of coke,
Seven bags o' speed,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my dealer sent to me
Twelve grams of hash,
Eleven pipes that rip,
Ten mgs of D-M-T,
Nine bottles of codeine ,
Eightball of coke,
Seven bags of speed,
Six 40z a-211,
Five bags of dope,
Four shriveled shrooms,
Three tabs of acid,
Two purple doves,
And a fat dime in a blunt wrap![/i]
Just typed and made that up on my phone might be some typos.
I didn't make any part of this but found it and thought of this thread.
Twas the Night before Solstice
"Twas the night of Solstice, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The mushroom hooks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a Shaman soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their rolls,
Dreamed visions of nutmeg dancing at the controls
My wife in her loincloth, and in hunter garb, I
Were settled and waiting for a long winter's high,
When out on the tundra there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the furs to see what was the matter.
Away to the smoke-hole I flew like a flash,
Tore open the cover and threw back the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Cast hallucinogenic shadows behind objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now, Smoker! now, Stoner! Now, Tripper, Enlightning
On, Dancer! On Lover! On, Thunder and Lightening!
To the top of the yurt! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the Amanitas mushrooms, and the Shaman too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the smoke-hole the shaman came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of fungi he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a dealer just opening his sack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks white as rollies, his nose like the cherry!
He was so ripped that his face cast a glow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pot-pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He pulled out the red and white mushrooms with care
And hung them on the hooks I’d left by the stair
Then he winked his eye and twisted his head
And I saw that the shaman had a cap full of dreads
He spoke not a word, but went straight to heating fungi,
because everyone knew it was more potent when dry
He cooked it and ate it, then had quite a piss
We danced around with the pot, because he was sure to miss
Then we both had a drink, my wife and I
And discovered that like reindeer, we too could fly
The Shaman floated right out the smoke hole with ease
While we kissed and humped, like sexual devotees
And I heard the Shaman exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Solstice to all, and to all a good-night!""
Source: [URL]http://www.cannabisculture.com/v2/node/25730[/URL]
Can we space out some of the lines of the songs? Looks a lot better. I think I'm going to work on another song real quick. Not going to record it.
[editline]24th December 2010[/editline]
Originial:
[quote]Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history![/quote]
Drug Version:
[quote]Benji, the red-eyed stoner
had some very tasty weed
And if you ever saw him,
your bowl would be filled with green
All of the other mormons
used to laugh and call him names *like a pot head*
They never let poor Benji
join in any mormon games *like evangelizing*
Then one smoke filled four twenty
A pastor came to say:
"Benji with your pot so nice,
won't we light a bowl tonight?"
Then all the mormons loved him
as they were smoked out by weed *cough cough*
Benji, the red-eyed stoner,
you'll go down like Bob Marley!
[/quote]
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