What the fuck: Weird guy goes cuts open dead porcupine for rare mineral, cuts out baby and saves it

[SexualShark]

[quote]Jared Buzzell, of Lisbon, says he was searching for wild mushrooms Thursday when he saw a porcupine get hit by a car in Minot. Buzzell says he'd heard that a valuable mineral deposit used in Chinese medicine formed in the stomachs of porcupines.

He then cut open the dead porcupine to search for the mineral and instead found the baby.

He tells WMTW-TV he cut the umbilical cord and thought the baby porcupine was dead until he started massaging it and it began breathing.

Buzzell is caring for the baby at home and plans to give it to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.[/quote]

what the fuck is this

[editline]30th March 2014[/editline]

[url]http://news.msn.com/offbeat/man-does-c-section-on-dead-porcupine-saves-baby?ocid=newssocial[/url]

[editline]30th March 2014[/editline]

[url]http://news.msn.com/offbeat/man-does-c-section-on-dead-porcupine-saves-baby?ocid=newssocial[/url]

[Stolid]

But did he find the rare mineral?

[Aznalt888]

that mineral shit is weird tho

I mean I'm chinese and I have NEVER remotely understood why they still keep to herbal witchcraft for their ailment fixes. Yeah, some work, but they're the foundation of chems used in regular medicine anyways.

[Sableye]

[QUOTE=Toy_Soldier;44404612]But did he find the rare mineral?[/QUOTE]

no cas all fucking chinese medicine is bullshit and is causing the extinction of the world's remaining rare preditors

[Fish Muffin]

[QUOTE=SexualShark;44404584]thought the baby porcupine was dead until he started massaging it[/QUOTE]
uh

[Morkcheese]

why did he start massaging what he thought was a dead baby porcupine?

[Kickin Balls]

[QUOTE=Aznalt888;44404615]that mineral shit is weird tho

I mean I'm chinese and I have NEVER remotely understood why they still keep to herbal witchcraft for their ailment fixes. Yeah, some work, but they're the foundation of chems used in regular medicine anyways.[/QUOTE]

omfg a chinaman

A rare sight

Chinese 'traditional' medicines are really weird, but this goes for other stuff. When you hunt the big animals down to extinction for the most menial shit that obviously doesn't work, it's quite sad. Some animals are small enough to be in abundance, like porcupines. They're everywhere

[Psycommu]

[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;44404642]why did he start massaging what he thought was a dead baby porcupine?[/QUOTE]

No harm in trying, eh?
That's how you get newborn puppies/kittens to breathe if they haven't started to after birth. You "massage" them.
Before that, they kind of look and act dead.

Would you rather he just toss it aside and not even try? :v:

[Ashes]

That's very awkward and batshit crazy, but at the same time he saved a newborn animal from dying

[c:]

Reminds me of those people who thought turtles hide treasure in their shells and that their organs are gems.

[Missing User]

[QUOTE=c:;44404956]Reminds me of those people who thought turtles hide treasure in their shells and that their organs are gems.[/QUOTE]

Pretty sure theres a subreddit of this

[Bradyns]

Prenatal porcupine powers on.

[Andokool12]

[QUOTE=Aznalt888;44404615]that mineral shit is weird tho

I mean I'm chinese and I have NEVER remotely understood why they still keep to herbal witchcraft for their ailment fixes. Yeah, some work, but they're the foundation of chems used in regular medicine anyways.[/QUOTE]

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST CONFIRMED BY A *REAL* CHINESE MAN HIMSELF [I]HE[/I] DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHY THEY STILL KEEP TO HERBAL WITCHCRAFT FOR THEIR AILMENT FIXES!

[halflambada]

the mother porcupine died and her spirit power got passed to this man

[Mbbird]

[QUOTE=Excalibuurr;44405025]The rare mineral was his e-peen boost for saving a baby.[/QUOTE]

naw man it's the dead porcupine that makes him "fertile"

everyone knows dead animals increase wang size

[yellowoboe]

He's later bitten by the baby and gets porcupine powers.

[Snickerdoodle]

[QUOTE=c:;44404956]Reminds me of those people who thought turtles hide treasure in their shells and that their organs are gems.[/QUOTE]

For those wondering: [url]http://www.somethingawful.com/news/hidden-gems-weekend/[/url]

[W key broke]

[QUOTE=Aznalt888;44404615]that mineral shit is weird tho

I mean I'm chinese and I have NEVER remotely understood why they still keep to herbal witchcraft for their ailment fixes. Yeah, some work, but they're the foundation of chems used in regular medicine anyways.[/QUOTE]
what if the cure for cancer was secreted by the brains of people who practiced chinese traditional medicine

[Symwck]

I find it odd that there's this practice towards traditional Chinese medicine, yet Chinese parents emphasize their children to become doctors aka. western medicine as a career path.

Maybe those same kids can later be more outspoken on the more nefarious practices.

[Glitchvid]

[QUOTE=Symwck;44407337]I find it odd that there's this practice towards traditional Chinese medicine, yet Chinese parents emphasize their children to become doctors aka. western medicine as a career path.
[/QUOTE]

Because it pays well.

[Adarrek]

[QUOTE=Aznalt888;44404615]that mineral shit is weird tho

I mean I'm chinese and I have NEVER remotely understood why they still keep to herbal witchcraft for their ailment fixes. Yeah, some work, but they're the foundation of chems used in regular medicine anyways.[/QUOTE]
Someone from china? On FP? And you've been here since 2007? Wow

[Symwck]

[QUOTE=glitchvid;44407395]Because it pays well.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, obvious overlook on my part. But it does seem a bit contradictory to the general traditional mindset of the nation is all.

[JumpinJackFlash]

[QUOTE=yellowoboe;44405634]He's later bitten by the baby and gets porcupine powers.[/QUOTE]So he'll basically be Aquaman in terms of usefulness?

I mean unless a criminal bites him, he's not going to be able to do very much besides scurry around and make [i]unbelievably strange noises[/i] but at least he won't be the goddamn Wonder Twins.

[Awesomecaek]

I wonder what does Ezhik think about this.

[Flashcat]

[QUOTE=yellowoboe;44405634]He's later bitten by the baby and gets porcupine powers.[/QUOTE]

[IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ac/Fringe_The_Transformation.jpg[/IMG]

?? :v:

[pr00ch]

[QUOTE=Sableye;44404630]no cas all fucking chinese medicine is bullshit and is causing the extinction of the world's remaining rare preditors[/QUOTE]

The Chinks actually used to powderize dinosaur fossils because they thought that they were dragon bones, and since dragons are nagical this shit surely had some fhcking rad medicunal properties.

Except they just destroyed relicts of millions of years to smear it into their faces for naught.

[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Racism strike 3? Next is permanent." - Swebonny))[/highlight]

[Neckbird]

[QUOTE=Excalibuurr;44405025]The rare mineral was his e-peen boost for saving a baby.[/QUOTE]

yeah i bet this traditional chinese herbalist is gloating about it on reddit right now

[Grimhound]

[QUOTE=W key broke;44406945]what if the cure for cancer was secreted by the brains of people who practiced chinese traditional medicine[/QUOTE]

Dunno about that...

[img]http://i.imgur.com/2Yw0ptG.gif[/img]

[Awesomecaek]

[QUOTE=Grimhound;44409331]Dunno about that...

[img]http://i.imgur.com/2Yw0ptG.gif[/img][/QUOTE]

Is the guy drinking mercury?

Well I am pretty sure it will kill any his ailment really quick.

[bravehat]

[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;44404642]why did he start massaging what he thought was a dead baby porcupine?[/QUOTE]

Most likely to get it breathing, less massage and more tiny animal CPR.