Alas, this is not an erotic tale about your favorite Russian president. But if you guys want, I'd be happy to write one, really--paired with another world leader of your choice.
Anyway, back to the intended topic of this thread. I was wondering why most of FP idolizes Putin. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't; I'm just wondering. I know he's cool because he does like, Judo or whatever, and he saves walruses and tigers and swims and all that, which I guess is awesome. But what kind of politician is he? What are his policies? I'm clueless, and I'd honestly be interested in finding out.
Even though he's not a president anymore(CAYK), he is our local Chuck Norris.
[QUOTE=1337_n00b;22118456]Even though he's not a president anymore(CAYK), he is our local Chuck Norris.[/QUOTE]
He pretty much has the same power now as when he was president.
He fucking tamed a wild polar bear. Why the fuck would we not worship him?
This is why,
[IMG]http://www.siberianlight.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/putin-man-boobs-fishing.jpg[/IMG]
U-S-A! U-S-A! U- Ah screw it even our guy didn't do that.
Well, he is a pretty cool guy, got Russia out of shithole, and isn't afraid of anything or anyone.
And that is surprisingly, a true statement, despite it meme-like looks. Basically, he brought Russian out of Yeltsin-induced collapse. There are still many things that have no recovered, but without him, things would have been far worse.
[B]I am late for school one day, so I decide to cut through the woods near my school. There's this big brick building that I assume is abandoned and never really gave a second thought to.
It must not have really been abandoned, because out of nowhere come a bunch of guys in military getup. They grab me before I can even react and carry me into the building.
They put me in a room that's totally empty except for a table and two chairs. There's a mirror on one of the walls that I assumed was one of those ones that's a window when you look frmo the other side.
I sit there alone for a few minutes then in come two of the military guys and Putin in the middle of them. He sits down across the table from me and one of the other guys asks, with a thick accent "What are you doing trespassing here?"
I stutter because I'm totally confused and he takes out my journal (it was in my school backpack) and says "You are American?" I nod and he says "So why are you trespassing on Russian military property?"
So finally Putin speaks. He asks the guy something in Russian and the guy says nyet. Putin sort of half smiles and says something else.
Both the other guys leave and he sits there and stares at me for what feels like a long time before he says anything. I'm blushing and sweating and really nervous.
Finally he stands up and says "Up" motioning for me to do the same. Without warning, he grabs me and bends me over the table. He uses one hand to hold my back down and kicks my feet apart.
He says "If I were you I wouldn't move" and takes his hand off my back. I'm petrified so moving just isn't an option anyway.
He stands behind me and starts running his hands from my shoulders down my back. He moves my hair and runs his hands down my neck, to my sides, his fingers brushing my tits.
Next, he puts his hands on my waist and slowly slides them down each of my legs on the outside. When he reaches my ankles, he runs them back up the inside of my legs to my crotch.
He barely touches the crotch my panties before removing his hands. He steps and grabs me around the waist and flips me over so I'm on my back on the table, my legs hanging to either side of his.
He says "It's in your best interest that I don't find any concealed weapons" as be starts to unbutton my shirt. It's cold in the room and my nipples are hard and poking against my white bra.
He opens my shirt and I instinctively cover my tits with my hands.
He gives me a sharp slap across the face and pulls my arms over my head. He says "Don't try that again"
He slides his hands up my skirt again and pulls me so my hips are almost off the table. He runs his hands over my crotch and inner thighs and leans forward and whispers "You can never be too careful when someone might be a spy..."
Then he unbuttons my skirt and drops it to the ground. I start whimpering and asking him to stop. He takes one hand and squeezes my throat until I can't breath and gives me a look that says "I will kill you if you don't shut up".
He releases my throat and grabs a knife from his belt. He slides it between my tits and slices through my bra. He discards it and my shirt. He delicately brushes the knife down my chest and over my stomach. Resheathing his knife, he slips his hands under my underwear and slides them down my legs.
He briefly runs his hands over my body before grabbing a fistful of hair. He uses it to pull my head back, exposing my throat. He kisses me on the neck gently before biting small bruises up and down my throat.
With his other hand, he unzips his pants and pulls out his cock. Even though I'm distracted by his pulling my hair, I can feel his hard cock rubbing against my pussy.
He spits on his hand and pushes his fingers between my pussy lips. After rubbing the lubrication around, he slips one inside my pussy.
He pauses for a moment when he feels my hymen. By this point dropping all pretense of 'interrogating a spy'. He rubs the head of his cock against pussy and I can feel him forcing it inside of me.
When just the head has penetrated my virgin opening, he puts his hand over my mouth shoves forward with all his force. I scream into his hand, but all that comes out is a muffled noise. He puts his face next to mine and chuckles as I writhe beneath him.
He stays there for a few moments, his cock balls-deep in my formerly virgin pussy, his hand over my mouth, and me struggling futilely to escape.
After I've adjusted slightly to the feeling of a dick inside me, he begins fucking me in earnest, using my hair to pull me back against him violently.
He bites at my neck and nipples and calls me an American slut and a whore.. After what seems like an eternity, he lets out a growl and I can feel his sperm filling my cunt. He stays inside of me for a few moments before pulling me off the table and onto the ground by my hair.
I hit the ground hard and cry out in pain, but he's got my hair again and pulling my face to his crotch. He looks down at me and rubs his cock on my face.
"Clean it" he says. It's covered in cum and pussy juice and blood. I turn my face away and shake my head no. He raises an eyebrow at me and knees me in the jaw.
I fall sideways, reeling from the pain and seeing stars. I open my eyes to see his combat boots and lift my face to see his blurry form standing over me.
He grabs my arm and pulls me back onto my knees, and once again puts his cock in front of my face.
This time I open my mouth and touch the tip of my tongue to the head of his dick.
Repulsed by the member in front of me, I make a half-hearted attempt at keeping from getting hit again.
Unimpressed with my performance, Putin holds my nose closed until I open mouth to breath. Instead of air, I get a mouth full of cock. He holds the back of my head to keep me from spitting it out.
His cock is getting hard again and when it is fully engorged he begins fucking my face, gagging me with his prick.
My saliva is dripping down balls and I'm finding it hard to catch my breath but he doesn't notice. My knees are bleeding and I can feel his cum leaking out of my pussy and dripping down my legs.
Abruptly, he tires of fucking my mouth and grabs my arms to pull me upright. He bends me over the table with my ass in the air, pointed at the mirror.
I hear him remove his belt but before the alarm could register I felt the first sharp pain on my ass.
This time, he didn't punish me for yelping. I sobbed and whimpered as lash after lash fell on my round ass.
With every blow he strikes harder, sometimes punctuating his lashes with what I assume are insults, but he's speaking Russian so I can't be sure. Although there is the occasional "whore" and "cunt" thrown in to make sure I get the point.
Finally he grows bored of whipping me, but by then my ass and thighs are covered in red welts and I am beginning to lose my voice from all the pleading and begging him to stop.
He steps back and surveys his work, running his hands over my hot and painfully swollen body. I can barely keep my legs under me and am shuddering on the table.
Once again he steps behind me, and he spreads my ass cheeks with his hands.
He spits on my puckered asshole, but deciding that isn't enough, he jams one finger into my cunt and rubs the cum and blood over my asshole as well.
He rubs the head of his rock hard cock against my asshole.
I begin begging him not to do it. "Please, please don't... fuck my pussy again! No, anything but that!"
He laughs and begins forcing his cock forward, spreading my asshole open painfully.
"Oh god! No it hurts too much!" I am sobbing and begging pathetically.
Putin laughs at me bends low next to my ear and whispers "It's supposed to hurt..."
He forces a few more inches of his cock into my screaming asshole and I cry out again.
Tired of my pleading, he shoves my panties into my mouth to muffle my cries. He grabs his belt again and wraps it around my throat a few times.
He holds the ends of the belt and uses it to pull me further onto his cock. By the time he has his entire cock in my ass, I am beyond coherency and only muted mumbles can be heard through the panties.
As soon as he has his entire length in my ass, he pulls halfway out and violently shoves his entire length into me again, pulling the belt so I don't slide across the table.
With one hand holding the belt, he begins rubbing circles around my clit with the other.
His fingers dance around my clit but never touch it directly. I can feel my cunt getting wet and hot, but I hate myself for it.
The pain in my ass makes it feel like I'm being torn apart, but his fingers teasing my clit are almost enough to make me forget about it.
As he fucks my ass harder and faster he also begins to rub my cunt harder and faster.
He slips one finger inside my sloppy pussy and massages my clit with his thumb. By now I'm whimpering again, but it isn't just pain.
My poor confused body is so turned on and yet in so much pain. Every thrust of his cock in my tortured asshole is joined by a delicious toying with my swollen clit. The cum that dripped down my legs is now joined with my own juice.
Soon the throbbing in my pussy is winning over the throbbing in my ass. I can feel the tension and heat building in my pelvis.
A few expert manipulations of my clit later and it's like my entire body is on fire. Radiating waves and pulsations and contractions start at my pussy and make my entire body quake.
The shuddering and clenching of my body must have felt pretty good to the cock in my ass, because as soon as I was done he groaning and jamming himself into me harder than ever.
He pulled on the belt around my neck until I couldn't breath and held me against his cock as I felt it spasm and squirt inside my ass.
[/B]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Spam" - Greeman))[/highlight]
Huh.
[QUOTE=gufu;22118563]Well, he is a pretty cool guy, got Russia out of shithole, and isn't afraid of anything or anyone.
And that is surprisingly, a true statement, despite it meme-like looks. Basically, he brought Russian out of Yeltsin-induced collapse. There are still many things that have no recovered, but without him, things would have been far worse.[/QUOTE]
W-well um... OUR GUY FREED US FROM BUSH! :patriot: Yeah GW terror... If it hadn't have been for Obama we'd hav- Oh fuck it I'm done.:regd08:
[QUOTE=16bit;22118605]- Bunch of stupid shit -[/QUOTE]
Okay I KNOW he didn't do that.
[editline]03:46AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Spycrabz;22118635][img]http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1236241801_vladimir_putin_making_balloon_animals.gif[/img]
/thread[/QUOTE]
Broken image
[QUOTE=TheCoolDudeOf87;22118624]OUR GUY FREED US FROM BUSH![/QUOTE]
Well, certainly a heroic feat of its own accord.
Because Putin practically saved Russia from itself and is the Russian equivalent to Chuck Norris.
[QUOTE=gufu;22118667]Well, certainly a heroic feat of its own accord.[/QUOTE]
No no, we blow, Putin rules, whatever, I dont give a fuck.
Putin could have killed Reagan if he wanted.
[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_r1AxIJszWSA/ScMqUtm3QrI/AAAAAAAAABg/RUdaRZl1Emw/s400/Putin.jpg[/img]
Fuck him, he wanted the school history textbooks to be changed that are more "patriotic". One of the textbooks doesn't include the Winter War, The Chechen Wars, Tried to justify the annexation of the Baltic States, and best of all it tried to put Stalin in a better light.
Because he'll kill you, fuck your girl, fuck your girls dog, then fuck you.
All while saving the Russian economy.
[IMG]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/d/9/7/d97ca21c8a6f90b5be43ae808ae3380f.gif[/IMG]
Putin on the Ritz.
You guys aren't really giving me what I asked for, but thanks anyway, I suppose.
I'd say he is rather authoritarian for better or worse. Certainly, he might use the power he gave himself, to his own hands, but he also used them to assist Russia as well.
Alot of girls always say, "Oh, I wish I looked like [female celebrity]!"
Well I wish I looked like Vladimir Putin.
He puts on a good public image.
When he's not dealing in the backhanded faux Democracy that is Russia.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;22138149]You guys aren't really giving me what I asked for, but thanks anyway, I suppose.[/QUOTE]
This is facepunch, when do you ever get what you want? I post pictures of my mint 88 GTA in the cars thread expecting people to go oo and ahh like everywhere else, but no one gives a rats ass if its not a supra, Silvia, or Skyline like true noobs..
[QUOTE=Pictrkol3;22138496]This is facepunch, when do you ever get what you want? I post pictures of my mint 88 GTA in the cars thread expecting people to go oo and ahh like everywhere else, but no one gives a rats ass if its not a supra, Silvia, or Skyline like true noobs..[/QUOTE]
True. A big part of me likes that aspect, so that's pretty much why I'm here. I guess I can always consult Wikipedia or something for info on Putin. In the meantime, keep posting pictures of Putin. I'm liking them a lot.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;22138377]Alot of girls always say, "Oh, I wish I looked like [female celebrity]!"
Well I wish I looked like Vladimir Putin.[/QUOTE]
Hell, I'm a girl, and even I want to look like Vladimir Putin.
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