Fox: Lesbian prison gangs are out to get Lindsay Lohan
45 replies, posted
[url]http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/07/13/lesbian-prison-gangs-waiting-hands-lindsay-lohan-report-says/[/url]
[release]Inmates of the jail where Lindsay Lohan is set to spend up to 90 days have warned of gangs out to attack the starlet, saying "everyone will want a piece of her", The Sun reported Tuesday.
Lindsay Lohan will leave her Hollywood pad next week and move into new digs at the Lynwood correctional facility in Los Angeles. But instead of wild showbiz parties and a plush double bed to curl up in afterwards, the actress will be locked up for 23 hours a day in a tiny cell with a rock-hard bunk and a single blanket.
Lohan's A-list neighbors will be replaced with tough guards and fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her.
Inmates told The Sun of the brutal conditions inside the prison.
Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days' jail for breaking her probation for a 2007 drunken-driving offense.
The terrified former child star hired a new lawyer in a last-ditch bid to avoid jail.
And from her future neighbors' graphic accounts of life inside, it is clear why she is so desperate to wriggle out of her sentence.
Tamara Haley, 38, is doing time for heroin possession and prostitution.
She said Monday: "Everyone will want a piece of her. It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan.
"Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward will laugh and people will love it -- even the guards."
Haley also warned bisexual Lindsay of the jail's lesbian gangs -- and offered advice on how to avoid their clutches.
She said: "The gay inmates wear their shirts inside out to let others know they are available.
"So if Lindsay doesn't want someone to grab her ass she'd better keep her shirt on straight.
"Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren't looking. It's disgusting."
Unless her new lawyer wins an eleventh hour reprieve, Lohan must hand herself in to the authorities by midnight on July 20.
Jail overcrowding means she is likely to serve around 23 days, most likely in the segregation unit for her own safety.
Haley added: "She'll be segregated from the general population, but where she's going it is even worse. It's the wing where the murderers are.
"I don't think they will actually be able to get to her, but you never know. At the very least some of those hard cases will try to scare her. They'll scream stuff to her from their cells.
"I've been in segregation and it was rough. The lights are on the whole time. You hear people screaming all night long. The cells are filthy and kept brutally cold. You get one tiny blanket and that's it.
"There's an infection going around now. You can barely sleep at night from all the coughing. And there are girls with body lice."[/release]
More quality reporting from :foxnews:.
Sounds like some sort of kinky porno
[editline].[/editline]
I want a copy :q:
[editline].[/editline]
nvm she looks like a skank ho now
but maybe the lesbian prison gang is hot
You'd have to be pretty desperate to want a piece of this:
[img]http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/original/lindsay_lohan_jeremy_piven_party.jpg[/img]
Maybe if Lindsey was going to jail still looking like this:
[img]http://www.iphone-wallpapers.us/images/wallpapers/kzie4xz1c.jpg[/img]
[img]http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles2/1569455/article_images/headline_1278597758.jpg[/img]
I'm sure everyone is out for [I]that.[/I]
Let the new reality show begin!
Aren't the officers going to...you know...protect her from being raped/murdered?
Fox News is using The Sun as a source?
When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild press of the earth.
[QUOTE=Lambadvanced;23332513]Aren't the officers going to...you know...protect her from being raped/murdered?[/QUOTE]
Yes.
But not anyone else. They haven't been in movies.
Get some snuff films out of this.
[quote]fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her.[/quote]
:q:
cool she's in with the murderers
[QUOTE=CabooseRvB;23332535]Get some snuff films out of this.[/QUOTE]
if a load of butch lesbians raping a crack whore turn you on then I suppose you have the right to want that
Lesbian prison gangs is not something I expected to hear from Fox. Now I just wanna hear Beck yelling it in one of his diatribes.
Well, at least it's not gay men that are made out to be the rapists like it always is. I guess
[QUOTE=Xen Tricks;23332607]Lesbian prison gangs is not something I expected to hear from Fox. Now I just wanna hear Beck yelling it in one of his diatribes.[/QUOTE]
"You know what lesbian prison gang sounds like? Communism. They're kinda like gangs! Our American princess is being attacked by communism!"
[QUOTE=MrEndangered;23332653]"You know what lesbian prison gang sounds like? Communism. They're kinda like gangs! Our American princess is being attacked by communism!"[/QUOTE]I fell out of my chair laughing
[QUOTE=MrEndangered;23332653]"You know what lesbian prison gang sounds like? Communism. They're kinda like gangs! Our American princess is being attacked by communism!"[/QUOTE]
"Gangs work together, you know, they all support one another. They like to share their resources, their wealth. Communists like to share too, huh? And gangs are just fine with killing someone, like socialist communists who wouldn't think twice about killing a person for disagreeing! I'M IN DANGER HERE! I'M PUTTING MY LIFE ON THE LINE TO BRING YOU THE TRUTH!"
EDIT: Wait nvm we're parodying him, not saying things he actually would say.
Bah, she'll get out early anyway, being famous n' shit.
Nah the lesbian prison gangs can get crack whores any day of the week, Lohan's safe.
Sadly :colbert:
[QUOTE=The Mighty Boatman;23332521]Fox News is using The Sun as a source?
When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild press of the earth.[/QUOTE]
You know, I was just thinking the other day what "pale horse" meant. I never bothered to look it up though.
Thanks for that. :v:
(I was thinking that to myself because I've seen a few songs with the term "pale horse" in it, such as DevilDriver's "Pale Horse Apocalypse.")
[QUOTE=Gmod4ever;23333848]You know, I was just thinking the other day what "pale horse" meant. I never bothered to look it up though.
Thanks for that. :v:
(I was thinking that to myself because I've seen a few songs with the term "pale horse" in it, such as DevilDriver's "Pale Horse Apocalypse.")[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'm awesome like that :c00lbert:
[QUOTE=Omali;23332473]You'd have to be pretty desperate to want a piece of this:
[img]http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/original/lindsay_lohan_jeremy_piven_party.jpg[/img]
Maybe if Lindsey was going to jail still looking like this:
[img]http://www.iphone-wallpapers.us/images/wallpapers/kzie4xz1c.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
I'd fuck both I don't care. Throw them in the same future on my bed.
Everyone wants a piece of her Herby.
[QUOTE=Omali;23332473]You'd have to be pretty desperate to want a piece of this:
[img]http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/original/lindsay_lohan_jeremy_piven_party.jpg[/img]
[/QUOTE]
They're in jail, not like they can afford to be picky.
I wonder what happens when you drop the soap in a woman's prison?
[QUOTE=Acesarge;23337011]I wonder what happens when you drop the soap in a woman's prison?[/QUOTE]
You get a bunch of fingers instead of a dick.
[QUOTE=JWJ;23337162]You get a bunch of fingers instead of a dick.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://files.posterous.com/pourmecoffee/y0Mtvy595Evs9MXLATZDpNVs9Uv2Rd6uthcGBe19q5IEcao6jKl9ZUFLBYZj/the_more_you_know2.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=1C9REJR1EMRZ83Q7QRG2&Expires=1279054098&Signature=SzMNOQpLJJzEQGaCM%2BDnc%2BEvpnY%3D[/img]
I guess one can think, huh?
[QUOTE=Acesarge;23337011]I wonder what happens when you drop the soap in a woman's prison?[/QUOTE]
Oh I wonder....:smug:
[QUOTE=Acesarge;23337011]I wonder what happens when you drop the soap in a woman's prison?[/QUOTE]
Hmm......TO THE LAB!
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