You are a spacer, and you are being held captive on your ship. however it is technically not your ship as you didn't quite succeed in your attempts to steal it. even so it is all part of your plan, or will be when you make your plan so everything is well.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/zl2gG1y.png[/img]
first up on your possible plan, a new name. there are a few very burly, angry enforcers looking for a 'Captain Fisticuffs' and you enjoy having your hands attached to your wrists.
Admiral Pugil?
[editline]27th February 2013[/editline]
(Scrawl "Captain Fisticuffs was here" on the wall in case you ever have the need to retrieve your old identity.)
Professor Punjab.
after long thought you come up with two possible names, Admiral Pulgil and Professor Punjab. you decide to call yourself Admiral Pulgil, as it appeals greatly to your extremely overdeveloped ego. you then decide that it would be a good idea to scrawl "Captain Fisticuffs was here" upon the wall, just in case you need to retrieve your old identity.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/tvzQnzu.png[/img]
while you are perfecting your handiwork on the wall you hear a noise at the door, it's the owner of the ship, the one who's head you smashed into the mirror and who somehow trapped you in this cell despite you still retaining your Ray-gun (zapomatic, the only vanity powered firearm in the known universe, and of the 300 000 000 000 manufactured yours is the only one that wasn't utter garbage).
The man behind the door, who you remember as 'That Prick' seems to be reminding you that he's dropped your meal again.
Right. Stare into the mirror while attempting to deal with That Prick.
Use paper to clog the sink and floor drains, and keep the sink on.
you use some paper like substance to plug the sink and the floor-drain, leaving the tap on.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/ZKrxabw.png[/img]
soon, the room begins to flood, however it seems that the door is doing a very good job of holding the water inside the room
[img]http://i.imgur.com/XZ9mEm4.png[/img]
you are feeling very proud of yourself, having managed to flood the room. However as the water rises to your stomach you realize that it is [u]very[/u] cold.
Use bench as a makeshift raft
Stop being a dingus. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Water ain't going to do anything but ruin the whole crew's day, including yours. Did you think the only drain in the fucking ship was in your cell? NO! THERE IS LITERALLY ONE RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR BECAUSE OF IDIOTS LIKE YOU. (and no, you cant clog that one)
Now stop being a fucking shit, turn off that tap, and un-clog that drain.
Now.
After that proceed to cut your fingertips and go batshit insane, sprawling nonsense on the walls, and doing your hair in the broken mirror. Make sure you get someones attention to watch you, or it wont be for nothing. If you are lucky, you get out of jail and tooken to the psych ward, in the ships medbay. There are a lot of shiny stabby things there, do your worst. After all, you aren't named Admiral Pulgil for nothing.
Why are there stabby things in the psych ward?
Will the ray gun boil water? Maybe you could use it to fill the ship with steam.
[QUOTE=Krinkels;39747123]Why are there stabby things in the psych ward?[/QUOTE]
Because fuck safety and logic. You are on a space ship, med bay doesn't actually care about your health.
Also, filling the ship with steam is a waste of time. It will get filtered into your ships atmospherics, turned into water, and then electrolyzed into more oxygen, or it will cycle back out of your tap. Worst case scenario you fuck up atmospherics and kill everyone on board, INCLUDING YOURSELF.
My way is the best way.
realizing that the water is in fact extremely cold, you decide to tear the bench/bed thingy off the wall and turn it into a raft, surprisingly it floats quite well and you use your astounding balance to stay standing as the raft bobs gently on-top of the water.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/h8UCnJX.png[/img]
after a few seconds of standing on the raft listening to 'That Prick' shouting questions at you as to why there is water seeping around the door, you hear a large groaning sound followed quickly by a bang as the door explodes outwards from the force of the water. your raft gently lowers as the water rushes out the doorway of your cell and into the hall, surprisingly, there is no drain outside in the hallway.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/dzBkFoq.png[/img]
for a few moments you marvel at your genius in causing the door to have probably hit 'That Prick' right in the face with great force.
>Clean up that sprite, can't have those white pixels running loose now can we?
All jokes aside,
>Enter hallway, with your gun at the ready.
you decide to clean yourself up, as your time in the cell has left you rather ragged. after a few moments you feel you have made yourself presentable and you enter the hallway, your ray-gun at the ready.
the first thing you notice is 'That Prick' against the opposite wall, hunched over staring into space and mumbling to himself. The door that hit him seems to have landed up the hallway.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/vdvVoJv.png[/img]
Go to the insanity asylum aboard the ship.
Spend a few days there.
Learn from your enlightened bretherin.
Check 'That Prick' for ID
Try and make your way to the bridge, kill everyone on sight.
These bitches put you in their space jail, after all.
Seriously, space jail. Fuck them.
Once you get to the bridge, vent air into air storage, allow everyone to suffocate.
Once you do that, take a look at the computer terminals. Might be something useful.
you decide to check 'That Prick' for his ID, and after a few moments frisking through his pockets you find his security key-card, a discount voucher for haircuts, a loyalty card with a free meal on it and a fortune cooky note.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/0GsIgvt.png[/img]
having checked 'That Prick' for ID, you decide to make your way to the bridge and to kill everyone you see along the way. You walk down the hallway and into the far door, having not seen a single person, you absently remember that this ship, a model #1 Starcutter only needs one crew member to operate.
as you arrive in the bridge, the control orb activates and begins to glow with a blue light.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/onWIaZ8.png[/img]
you now control the ship, and as 'That Prick' is in no state to argue the point it is now yours. However you seem to have forgotten exactly why you bothered to steal the ship in the first place, after all, why would you bother to try and steal this exact ship?
Shit that's an interesting question. Search the engines, holding cells, cargo hold, ship computer (if there is such), and your mind.
you search the entire ship, and while you still can't remember why you chose this ship, it probably had something to do with a cargo-hold full of Unspecifidium, the rarest mineral in the known universe, a small crystal of unspecifidium is rumored to be capable of powering a world-breaker battle cruiser for 10 years.
and there is much more than a small crystal here
[img]http://i.imgur.com/YTaetLv.png[/img]
you estimate that with this much Unspecifidium even the peacekeepers would kill you to take it
[QUOTE=Tomtyke;39756070]you estimate that with this much Unspecifidium even the peacekeepers would kill you to take it[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.thirdoptionmen.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/eat-it.jpg[/img]
you decide that the best course of action is to eat the Unspecifidium, because it'll probably give you superpowers or something
as you hold it in your hand, you almost feel like it's watching you
[img]http://i.imgur.com/EjQGcAR.png[/img]
You put the crystal in your mouth, and begin to chew, the crystal crunches between your perfect teeth and the taste reminds you of one those old primitive 'Battery' cells, right down to the feeling of your tongue being stripped apart.
It tastes [u]Really[/u] bad
[img]http://i.imgur.com/I9AkgI7.png[/img]
as you swallow the last of the crystal, you feel a strange sensation, a heightened form of existence. You hear colors, see sounds and can feel the the passing of time.
But as time passes you begin to understand it, without thinking you weave the threads of time to your command.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/AXjFy1i.png[/img]
and now here you stand, the mightiest being in all of existence.
All that is was and ever will be at your command, you see all of creation, every last piece of matter at your control.
You are a god
[img]http://i.imgur.com/U24u2gi.png[/img]
Sense and relocate anyone, now and forever, who might also eat it
you cast your senses outward, towards the edges of the universe now and forever, searching for anyone who may also eat it. at first you find nothing, then, through the very fabric of the universe you feel a presence, this being also seeks to eat the unspecifidium.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/qs92glR.png[/img]
your mind lashes out, attempting to seize this individual to relocate them, and at that same instant your mind reels in pain as two realities collide. the universe seems to scream in agony as it shatters upon its double. Then, standing in front of you is yourself, his very step corrupts your perception of reality, and he radiates power.
the world shudders as time begins to unravel, your sense the fate of the world changing, and your grip on time begins to grow unsteady.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/rRKGK7w.png[/img]
>Become one with other self, MAKE US WHOLE
[QUOTE=gregmasterx;39761203]>Become one with other self, MAKE US WHOLE[/QUOTE]
MAKE US WHOLE
MAKE US WHOLE
MAKE US WHOLE
On a side note, you wake up after finding out that the unspecifidium you ate did not give you super powers, but instead knocked you out. Your poop also turned into more unspecifidium, perhaps you have found a way to manufacture it?
You are now a bit schizophrenic as well, the unspecifidium seems to have done something to your brain.
Go back to the knocked out crew member, and throw him in a prison cell. When he awakes, talk to him, and try and get on good relations with him. After all, someone such as yourself always needs a slave *Cough* I mean sidekick.
Continue to slow time
[editline]1st March 2013[/editline]
Reverse time, split the universe, and inhabit whichever realities any iteration of you does not. Destroy any quantity of unspecifidium before you eat it and return to your corporeal form.
you continue to slow time, your mind begins to wander as voids begin to appear within the universe.
the alternate you tears at the threads of time as he pushes his universe into yours, madness glints in his eyes as he redoubles his efforts.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/K0ggHvV.png[/img]
in desperation, you reverse time, but your double simply follows. you split the universe, and he fills the gaps with his own reality. you inhabit the realities he leaves, he chases you down and destroys you, past and future collide as you cheat final death. you attempt to find and destroy any quantity of unspecifidium remaining in the universe, banishing it into the voids. the whole time your double resists you, until finally you eat the last piece of unspecidium to ever exist and...
[img]http://i.imgur.com/TMjsmIs.png[/img]
you wake up on the floor of the cargo hold with the worst stomach cramp you've ever had, your pants on your head and unspecifidium scattered around you
[img]http://i.imgur.com/hu8xKiv.png[/img]
Put your pants back on and grab a couple crystals. Check if the ship has any communications.
If so assess what effects your double has had on this universe so far.
[QUOTE=Tomtyke;39767126]your pants on your head[/QUOTE]
This is a good sign.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
