Hi all, I've noticed I've been typing out these crazy essays in replies so I decide to just pool a great thread.
This is hopefully going to be an unbiased and most accurate as possible account, because I am checking my facts with 3 textbooks, and internet.
If you find and Mistakes, i'll be glad to take criticism ad anything I missed.
[b]People NEED TO CHILL DA HELL OUT
I'll add more stuff when I get to it.
As for all the people who contributed to the thread:proboardslol, Poltergeist Three, Prismatex
Thanks
If anyone has anything I missed or I should add, just post it up.
Now to the history.[/b]
[b]Black Plague[/b]
Started in around 1348, no one really knows where the outbreak first hit. It is rumored to have started in the small town of Marmony (I need to double check the town name).
Anyways, they were under siege of the Muslims at the time, when the Muslims started to fall down dead from a disease, of course those Christians started praising God for the miracle, when the crafty Muslims decided to load the dead bodies into their catapults and trebuchets. So in the middle of their praises dead bodies rained down on them infecting them. In fear they got into their little ships, and sailed away spreading the disease.
In general, it wiped out 80 percent of the population, and even the Pope ran away to his little castle and hid in fear.
The people were in fear, and soon began doing things no one would expect. Sex in the streets, eating their guts out, beating the shit out of each other and general mayhem.
Some reasons that the disease spread so quickly:
1. The whole family slept together. With rats in their houses (black rat to be specific, for being the carrier of the flea who carried the disease who only sucked the black rat's blood.)
2. bad hygiene.
3. little knowledge of how it was spread.
The black plague is more familiar to most of you than you realize.
Remember this?
[i]Ring around the rosies
pockets full of posies
Ashes Ashes
We all fall down[/i]
Let me explain
Ring around the rosies (After the bite of the flea, it would turn red like a rose, and a ring would form around it)
pockets full of posies (People thought the disease was airborne, so they had pockets of nice smelling flowers and such to smell, not the germs and stuff)
Ashes Ashes (Unclear historians argue that it is either the ashes of the bodies burned in the begining, or achoo achoo but turned into ashes for better rhythm, because of the coldlike symptoms)
We all fall down (pretty obvious, everyone dies)
Dark isn't it?
[b]Renaissance[/b]
~coming~
[b]Louis XIV[/b]
~coming~
[b]Napoleon and his adventures[/b]
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/30/David-Napoleon.png[/img]
[img]http://records.viu.ca/~mcneil/jpg/napoleon.jpg[/img]
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/07/Brodowski_Napoleon_Elbe.jpg[/img]
Napoleon was born in1769 to some low level nobles on an island named Corsica. He went to French military academy and became an artillery officer. Napoleon turned out to be preeeeetty lucky. The revolution happened, he dispersed it with his cannon and saved the Directory (a sort of tyrannical government ruling France atm). Ironically, it was to be overwthrown by its savior. But before that they made him general. he went to Italy, and defeated them, in a series of quick victories. Before long, he had his own empire on land. i say land because the british was a naval superpower who would not let this happen. He soon got too full of himself, and started a war in Spain, and a war wtih Russia, which lead to his downfall. HE first went to war with Spain, but taht soon failed due to their guerilla style tactics. Soon he ignored his "Spanish Ulcer" as he called it, and went to war with Russia, a fatal mistake as it seems. This seems to be a foreshadowing to Hitler, For he was with good terms, and as in good terms, it is said that he did gay things with the Tsar of Russia. Very gay things.
[img]http://www.empireonline.com/images/features/night-at-the-museum-2-comedy-cast/6.jpg[/img]
Anyways, he took his Grand Army of 600,000 and went to go conquer, but they just retreated and Napoleon's army died from starvation and such more than bullets. Poor Napoleon. Russia came out of nowhere, beat up his army, and basically invaded France. Napoleon, abdicated, and was banished to a small island named Elba. he ran a miniature kingdom for 100 days before he stole back to France and retook command. Now everyone knows that his famous downfall at Waterloo. Not many know what happened. When the British and Prussian learned that he had comeback, they both put in 150,000 men to put him and his army down. The british met him first and they were getting beat, when the Prussian arrived. This is where things turned bad. Napoleon was barely holding out against the Birtish when the Prussians arrived. Napoleon sent in his elite units, you know, the guys who shower in shit and eat nails for breakfast type of guys, anyways, these guys marched about 300 yards into cannon and musket fire, before they broke ranks and fled, leading to the deterioration of moral in his army. nhe was exiled to Saint helena, and was forced to live in despicable conditions. His health failed rapidly, and then he died sometime in February 1821.
Now for his famous picture,
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0a/Jacques-Louis_David_017.jpg/366px-Jacques-Louis_David_017.jpg[/img]
Everyone wonders, what is he doing with his hand?
Is he holding a bon bon, is he scrathing his stomach, is he masturbating?
None of the above, sorry folks.
He is infact, holding his innards. He had a small gut problem which made his guts sort of droop out of their normal placing, so he was just pushing them back in his skin and stuff is still there, so he was holding them in for his picture.
Atm, I can't find the picture wher he is kissing the Tsar of Russia, but I'll get it somehow.
[b]Scientific Revolution[/b]
~coming~
[b]World Wars 1&2[/b]
I just copied this from a reply i posted a while ago, but I'll fix it up in a minute to be more historical.
Growing tension in the powder keg of Europe (Balkans) where Serbian nationalists, were rebelling against authority, and finally a Serbian nationalist assasinated Arch-duke Franz Ferdinand heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne (also the band yes).
The Austro-Hungray state, was to invade Serbia to reinstate order (and revenge). Germany herself and given Austro-Hungary a "blank check" to help them with their cause. This was due to the fact of the principal fact of the balance of power. As the term suggests, the balance of power is literally a balance of power, countries allying themselves with each other to make sure not one state is too powerful. In this case, Austro-Hungary, Germany, and Italy, were allied into the Triple Alliance. To counter this measure, the Triple Entente was formed, consisting of UK, France, and Russia, who were then supplemented by Spain, Japan, and US. (Note that the supplemental powers are not very pwoerful at this era of time.)
So when Austro-hungary decided to declare war on Serbia, Serbia had the backing of Russia. Note that these two countries had the backing of both alliances opposite of each other.
So Russia mobilizes its troops, Germany sees that as threat and declares war on Russia. France decides to help Russia and mobilizes its army and the Germans also declare war on them.
Now it deteriortates into a stalemate. The countries expected a fast war due to machine guns. (They took over all of Africa in a matter of months with the machine guns.) But however both sides have machine guns, so its no use. They build trenches to protect the men but artillery and poison gas ruin that. Mines and barbed wire slow any process of taking land. In fact, junior officers and such would send men over the top to grab some land which would ensue in the massacre of hundreds of men, for a mile of land.
[b]The United States were helping the war cost by selling over artillery shells and military surplus to the Triple Entente[/b] There fore helping out the Entente and not the Germans and such.
Then the Germans consider the waters around Great Britain war waters and sinks any ship that goes through. They sink the American passenger ship Lusitania, and angers the US. Us gets involved with fresh men, and German high command realizes that the war effort is basically lost. They sue for peace and the war ends with the Versailles Treaty, on November 11, 1918.
World War 2 starts on the basis of the basically a whole bunch of events. The great Deppresion happens in US, Facism is started in Italy by Mussolini, Hitler adopts it when he's in power.
Hitler, was a messenger in the WW1, He ran through minefields to deliver messages and he was generally crazy. He tries to start a revolution with a whole bunch of drunk people (Beer Hall Pustch) and it fails and he goes to jail , where he writes Mein Kampf (I believe loosely translated it means My Struggles).
He comes out, gains power eliminated the opposing political factions, gets rid of the SA (Nazi politcal army), instates his own SS.
In Russia a revolution starts, Lenin grabs power then Stalin grabs power. He puts the people through great misery, and surpisingly signs a treaty with Hitler. Surprising because Hitler hates commies and Russia.
The WW2 starts because of Germany. The Treaty of Versailles from WW1 states Germany can't do a lot of stuff. He creates a huge army, takes the Rhineland (the land on the other side of the Great River Rhine, a natural water defense). he threatens to invade the Sudetenland (a part of Czechoslovakia), Now all this time the Allies literally were like "No no Hitler thats a vew vewy bad thing to do. you stop it right now". But they take no action. In his diary he admits if they took action he would have stopped. But now it is too late. he threatens to take over Czechoslovakia, but Neville Chamberlain from Great Britain fies over and they sign a Munich agreement, which allows Hitler to take the Sudetenland (land of Czechoslovakia where German speaking people live).
Hitler decides to go to war now. He has the blitzkrieg plan, a speedy attack where vehicles attack, supported by planes, then infantry all the while bombarding them with artillery. he takes Poland, and aims for France.
France already has a whole bunch of trenches and efences from WW1 so they Make it even more extensive and create the Maginot Line, which was considered impregnable. Hitler just takes his tankes and armies and goes around the line and invades France where the French get owned. The heroic retreat from Dunkirk staged by British military and civilian ships to get soldiers out of France was very inspiring indeed. Now France has fallen and only Great Britain stands in the way. Now Hitler's elite airforce, the Luftwaffe, were planning to rain Britain with bombs and stuff. They go to attack and was known as the Battle of Britain. (In fact it is a battle OVER Britain). The British won this battle due to superior technology. (Radar and better planes, the Spitfires and Hurricanes). After the Royal Air Force (RAF) of Britain dropped bombs on Berlin, Heinrich Goring(an incomptent drunk he leads teh Luftwaffe) orders the Luftwaffe to bomb civilian cities instead of airfields, allowing the RAF to become stronger.
Hitler makes a fatal mistake here. he beings Holocaust. He uses his resources to deport and kill the Jewish peoples. Therefore he ties up his effective train system and troops and reinforcements arrive late to battle.
THe Battle of Britain is considered the turning point of the war because it was proven Hitler is defeatable.
Germany now makes a fatal mistake (Similar to Napoleon of France) and breaks its treaty with Russia and invades. Stalin is WTF, but Hitler attacks anways, where his army is powned by the civilians and military of Russia at Stalingrad and Leningrad.
Japan attacked Pearl harbor in 1941, so Hitler declares war on US. [b]US forces push Germany out of Africa and land in Normandy, If the US had been defeated then, historians agree, the The Axis would have gone on to win the war.[/b] But the US wins due to the fact that the tanks were being transported to a diferent sector of Frace, because of false planted intelligence, the Allies cracked the German secret code, and they (Axis) had run out of troops. In fact when the Allies captured the cement bunkers of Normandy they found polish people and at the machien guns. Of course they asked why they were shooting at their rescuers, and the famous response was this. "Sure your guns were scary but the Nazi gun at my head was scarier." Stating that the Axis had to resort to POW to keep the fight on.
So the Russians, invade from the East, Great Britain and US push from South and West, Hitler suicides with his top officers and Berlin is captured, all the while Us forces pown the Japs.
[QUOTE=Prismatex's Angry Rageful Cuntpaste;15787940]
There were many long-term and short-term causes of World War II. While it is easy to see the short-term causes, it is important not to discount the long-term causes which set Europe on the road to war. One of the main short-term causes was the policy of appeasement put forward by the Prime Minister of Britain, Neville Chamberlain. Another short-term cause was the failure of the League of Nations to curb the ambitious expansion of Mussolini’s fascist Italy and Hitler’s Nazi Germany. The long-term causes of World War II included the Treaty of Versailles and the Russian Revolution, among others.
After his rise to power in Italy, Benito Mussolini showed his hunger for power and territory when he invaded Ethiopia in 1935 in order to grow his African empire. Although some were appalled, the League of Nations didn’t take action [doc. 2], even though Italy and Ethiopia were both members and Italy was known to have used chemical weaponry. This event showed the weakness of the League of Nations and led Hitler to realize that he could advance his ambitious foreign policy without fear of reprisal from the European powers.
The concept of Lebensraum (living space), which arose before the First World War, stated that all Germanic peoples needed more space to colonize and fill. Lebensraum was one of the goals of the Germans during World War I, but it was not achieved. Hitler’s plan for fulfillment of Lebensraum was to expand into Eastern Europe, most notably Poland, and replace the current inhabitants with ethnic Germans. This concept of Lebensraum was an extension of the Grossdeutschland movement, which aimed to unify all Germanic peoples under one state, another one of Hitler’s goals [doc. 1]. Before World War II, Germany made many moves towards achieving this goal, beginning with the occupation of the Sudetenland and culminating with the 1938 annexation of Austria, known as the Anschluss. The invasion of Poland was thus only another event in a chain of events that had been occurring for years. The Holocaust in Poland and the formation of ghettoes can also be viewed as part of Hitler’s Lebensraum goals.
When Germany remilitarized the Rhineland in 1936, it clearly violated the Treaty of Versailles [doc. 3]. However, due to the weakness of the League of Nations, no actions of substance were initiated against Germany. Germany had withdrawn from the League in 1933, making it that much more difficult for the League to respond. After the German annexation of Austria in early 1938, Hitler set his sights on Czechoslovakia. At the Munich Conference, attended by Hitler, Mussolini, Chamberlain, and French Prime Minister Daladier, Czechoslovakia was partitioned and divided among its neighbors. Germany won control of the Sudetenland, which was mainly composed of ethnic Germans. The Munich Agreement was a hastily conducted act of appeasement, hoping to curb Hitler’s ambitions and prevent war, at least for the time being [docs. 4, 5, 7]. While some hailed the Munich Agreement as an assurance against war, others protested. Winston Churchill, future Prime Minister of Britain, said in a speech to Parliament that the Munich Agreement had both undermined the Treaty of Versailles and the League of Nations by bypassing the latter entity [doc. 6]. Historians have looked back upon the situation and concluded that a military operation to take the Sudetenland, which may have occurred if the Munich Conference had not happened, would probably been halted by the Czechs’ military and led to a military coup in Germany by unhappy generals [doc. 7].
One of the most significant long-term causes of World War II was the Treaty of Versailles. While the Treaty blamed Germany for the war, the short-term actions of all involved contributed, and blame is shared between them. The Treaty placed heavy burdens on Germany, including the payment of reparations and loss of territory. The heavy financial burden caused by the reparations contributed to inflation and economic woes in the newly formed Weimar Republic, and while the Dawes Plan of 1924, which modified some of the terms of the Treaty of Versailles, caused short-term economic recovery, resentment in Germany still simmered and economic troubles soon returned. Partially as a result of the poor German economy, the Nazi Party, which had gained prominence after the Beer Hall Putsch of 1923, came to power. Another of the Treaty’s provisions which proved challenging was Germany’s loss of territory. Although Germany’s territory was chipped away at by many of the victorious Allies, one of the most painful modifications was the creation of the Polish Corridor. The Corridor was former German territory which was added to Poland to give Poland access to the Baltic Sea. It was bordered by the Free City of Danzig, a city-state formed from East Prussian territory, which became part of Poland’s economic sphere of influence. The division of Germany brought about by the creation of the Polish Corridor was thus another cause of the Nazi Party’s rise to power.
Yet another long-term cause of the Second World War was the October Revolution of 1917 in Russia. Communist and far-left elements all over Europe gained strength after the Revolution and postwar economic troubles, causing consternation among both far-rightists such as Hitler and Mussolini as well as centrists in countries such as France and Great Britain. One motivation for appeasement was the belief that German domination in Eastern Europe was better than Soviet domination of Eastern Europe. If Germany lost its influence, the Soviets would step in to replace them. Hitler preyed on the fear of communism as well, making it a centerpiece of the Nazi Party’s platform. His anti-communist attacks were amplified by the Reichstag fire of 1933, which was revealed to have been caused by a communist arsonist. The attack was exploited by Hitler as an example of how communists would sabotage Germany, and it was used as an excuse to pass a number of acts which persecuted communists and restricted civil liberties. The fire also led to the wide dissemination of anti-Soviet propaganda, foreboding the German invasion of the USSR.
While many focus on the short-term causes of World War II, there were many long-term causes as well. One of the major long-term causes was the unfair treatment of Germany in the Treaty of Versailles, which stoked the flames of resentment in Germany. Other long-term causes included the long battle for German unification, which some still wanted to continue. In the short term, the policy of appeasement did little to slow Nazi aggression, even encouraging it by failing to impose significant restrictions upon Germany. The weakness of the League of Nations also contributed to the war, as it couldn’t provide collective security without commitments from its members to act in the case of aggression.[/QUOTE]
[b]Post World War 2 Concerning Poland
Solidarity [/b]
~coming~
[b]Post World War 2 Concerning Russia[/b]
~coming~
So are you going to add in more, from other time periods and the such?
ITT: Important shit you should know by now.
Nice thread. Make it longer.
I always thought it was [b]Austria[/b]-Hungary. Meh.
[quote=Lefundoof]all the while Us forces pown the Japs.[/quote]
Very descriptive, and I wouldn't call it pwnage, considering Iwo Jima, Okinawa, and several other battles where the American mortality rate was extremely high.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;15788054]Very descriptive, and I wouldn't call it pwnage, considering Iwo Jima, Okinawa, and several other battles where the American mortality rate was extremely high.[/QUOTE]
I'm pretty sure you call it pwnage when one bomb kills 70,000 +.
History of the world? More like history of the twentieth century.
Woo more history added. I'd like to see Romans' history.
[QUOTE=Teh Rar File;15788179]I'm pretty sure you call it pwnage when one bomb kills 70,000 +.[/QUOTE]
70,000+ people that didn't have with the war to do :eng101:
[QUOTE=Swebonny;15788307]70,000+ people that didn't have with the war to do :eng101:[/QUOTE]
what
You should spice up your historical essays, or whatever with some cuss words like "Nazi's got fucked up..." - it makes it more interesting to read. :clint:
Also, you should cover an event that no one has before so people actually read it.
Do some shit on the Zulu war.
[QUOTE=OrkO;15787975]I always thought it was [b]Austria[/b]-Hungary. Meh.[/QUOTE]
It was. The nationality was [b]Austro[/b]-Hungarian just like England has a nationality of English.
Okay people I took a break, I will add more things, no its not only the 20th century.
BE PATIENT!
[QUOTE=lefundoof;15787730] :words: [/QUOTE]
FIFY, WWII
[img]http://nbnl.globalwhelming.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/world_war_two.jpg[/img]
[editline]01:57AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Swebonny;15788307]70,000+ people that didn't have with the war to do :eng101:[/QUOTE]
You fuckin retarded mate?
Hiroshima was were part of their Army was headquartered, and the Army Marine Headquarters was located at port. The city also had large depots of military supplies, and was a key center for shipping.
The USA wouldn't fuckin nuke a civilian city, we are not totally heartless.
[QUOTE=feltoni;15789159]It was. The nationality was [b]Austro[/b]-Hungarian just like England has a nationality of English.[/QUOTE]
The nationalities were Austrian and Hungarian, among many others. It's called the Austro-Hungarian empire because it's a merger of the kingdoms of Hungary and Austria.
When you say that he's holding his guts do you mean his fat/belly,ect? Or his actual organs?
[QUOTE=uber sky;15791222]FIFY, WWII
[editline]01:57AM[/editline]
You fuckin retarded mate?
Hiroshima was were part of their Army was headquartered, and the Army Marine Headquarters was located at port. The city also had large depots of military supplies, and was a key center for shipping.
The USA wouldn't fuckin nuke a civilian city, we are not totally heartless.[/QUOTE]
Thank you for that.
Also, that comic was fucking awesome Uber Sky.
[QUOTE=Zombii;15791446]When you say that he's holding his guts do you mean his fat/belly,ect? Or his actual organs?[/QUOTE]
Sorry for the ambiguity, I meant, his guts were pushing out sticking out, he still had his fat and stuff. I'll fix it asap.
[editline]07:24PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=GreenDolphin;15787940]ITT: Important shit you should know by now.[/QUOTE]
There an entire thread over there that doesn't know this. Go rain on their parade yo.
That sounded more like the History of Europe than the history of the world, save for the part about Japan in WWII. Regardless, I already knew all this because of a little thing called school. Maybe some of you have heard of it.
Include Crusades, Indian Ocean Trade, Silk Road, history of China, history of religions, beginning of civilizations, mesoamerica
You forgot to mention GOD!
[QUOTE=Kamikaze;15792001]You forgot to mention GOD![/QUOTE]
For good reason.
found that picture of napoleon gettin' freaky with the tsar
[img]http://www.empireonline.com/images/features/night-at-the-museum-2-comedy-cast/6.jpg[/img]
Although this is an interesting thread, people should know all of this from history class.
[QUOTE=Swebonny;15788307]70,000+ people that didn't have with the war to do :eng101:[/QUOTE]
The fire bombing of Tokyo killed more then the nuke.
Then came Facepunch.
I cannot describe how funny the US looks in the comic above. :mmmhmm:
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