Here's the download link for the file, if you'd rather not read it in this post.
[url]http://www.2shared.com/document/ZzrTSs3Q/72_online.html[/url]
I just finished this, so there's probably TONs of spelling errors, and for that I apologize. I hope you enjoy it, though. Let me know what you think, if and how it maybe could be improved. Not sure what I was trying to accomplish with the plot, but I wanted to work in a lot of symbolism.. maybe you'll pick up on that and figure out what's really going on? Here goes, the first short story I wrote since highschool. Also... is there any bit of code to put it into a small scrolly box or anything? I'm not well versed in BB code and feel it's bad form to have the whole thing on the page like this.
Have a good read:
-72-
My eyes open slowly as light pours in, filling my retina as images become clearer. On the cracked ceiling an old fan lazily turns, and the tattered blinds dance as wind blows in from an open window. What is this? Laying on my back is ok for now.. The fan's missing a blade. Smell the air, nothing notable. Nothing abnormal, except that everything is new. It's time to rouse, investigate. It's a fresh start. I roll onto my side and wince as a pain shoots through my lungs. It's a dull pain, unexpected, but not enough to stop me now. My new eyes work to focus on what's in front of me, there, on the end table. A single metal lighter laying on the bedside table, and a singed scrap of paper. How curious. Unfolding the paper I'm met with runs of ink, once words, now smears. It's no help. My weak legs sway as I stand, the railing of the bed is now my cane.. but the breeze feels splendid. There's nothing else in this room aside from a bleak painting of some shrubs and bushes with cracked glass. Making my way to the window a great expansive city ufurls in front of me, with tall buildings that touch the heavens themselves. Perhaps this is one, too? It's pretty high, I'm at least 20 stories up, give or take. An orange light bathes the sprawling metropolis, sunset? Sunrise? Who knows, it's haunting. There isn't a soul on the road below my window, nary a car to be seen. I feel my consciousness on the edge of reality. This is a dream, and I'll be in a completely different room, or building in minutes. The black hole in my mind takes it all in. There's nothing to keep me in me, but there's nothing to spill out. There's no memories to miss, but I feel the haunting void of where they should be. The lights wains as I roll the small lighter through my fingers, it's a lot to take in. This is good, these will do for memories, this is something. Snapping back to the here and now brings a panic, a shock.
I drop the little metal device and watch it float through the warm air. It yearns for the concrete. The world is completely silent, time stops. I stop. The clink reverberates through the empty streets, filling the world with with sound. The sound is deafening. A clutch my head and it won't stop. Across the city smoke rises and envelopes the streets, and slowly, ever so slowly it crumbles. The pieces come unglued, the high rise antennas topped with red lights tip, fall lie trees. Bit fall off, racing towards the ground, and foundations tip. An entire city in freefall, my plague of consciousness rushing to catch it. The tallest building is first as it stumbles and gives in to the alluring wiles of gravity. It can't take it, gives in. I clench my eyes tight and scream but it's in audible over the metallic noise resounding. My memories are far away problems, my brain liquefies and fill my chest and I choke. This is it, the city is falling and I crumble with it. It goes dark.
"Wake up! Wake up!!" My brother yells at me as he flicks my light on. He's clearly more excited than I am with the day to come. School's been out for a week or two now, nothing ever interesting happens in this town. I just let the days blend together into one long lazy event. My parents decided today we should go to the lake, though, for the entire weekend. It's not so bad, I like the lake, but I don't know anyone up there ever. It's just the weekend. The car ride is a scant 2 hours, and with the windows down 80 degree air whips my hair around my face while I sit motionless entranced on the scenery flashing past my window. The buildings give way to pastures, meadows full of flowers, trees and never ending wooden fences. I like the powerlines, they guide our car to it's destination, like we're on a rail we can't pull away from. My brother screams wildly passing sme cows or something, nothing interesting. Then the roads turn to gravel and soon we pull up to the cabin with an angry cloud of dust behind us. The dock was always my favorite place here, I migrate from watching the world from a car window to the end of it and let my feet dangle in the cool lakewater while my dad starts the grill. The afternoon slips from my fingers. As evening falls I walk down the road to get to my favorite fishing spot. It's secluded and wonderful.
"HEY!" a rock lands near me and I turn around to see Kyle N from school, and two of his friends. I froze. What's he doing here? A few weeks prior, just before the end of 6th grade I stumbled on him smoking at recess. I locked up, I didn't know what to do. Smoking is bad for you, why would you pump your body full of it? My brain ripped in half and I didn't know what to do, so I ran with tears streaming from my eyes and tattled. I still don't know why I did it, I guess I was trying to help him? But it didn't help him. It was bad for him.
And it was now bad for me. "There's no teachers to cry to this time you pussy." He snarled and clenched his fists and my eyes got huge.
"I didn't know, I'm sorry.. I thought it was for the best." Bu he had none of it.
" No? Well I think I know what's best this time. Come on guys" The drew in closer. I panicked again. I ran again. My vision tunneled as I clawed through weeds and over rocks. Foot steps behind me blasted my ear drums as my heart threatened to burst from my chest. My tiny lungs burned for oxygen that wasn't there. Then it was there. An old root, just above the soil. I saw it as I scrambled, but I didn't change course. My foot caught it and I went headlong into the dirt. Like wolves they were on me. Kyle's revenge was swift. Mercilessly their fists beat out a battle cry on my body. It wouldn't stop, I couldn't move. They didn't miss a spot. I tasted iron as I struggled but my head couldn't decide between knuckles or dirt, so it darted between the two. Finally my vision went black, I escaped.
I don't dare open my eyes. I feel around, the floor's still there. The wall's still there. I'm still there. Ok. My eyes wearily open to see the same lazy room, and I'm on the floor. The picture's on the wall, and the fan continues it's lethargic rotation. On hands and knees I try to drag myself to my feet and my entire body aches. But now I'm back at my window and gazing again at an endless urban picture. It's still there, too. On the street below I almost make out the old casing. What the hell was that? A dream?.. Well then what the hell is this? I can't just stay here, no. There's so much out there, maybe I can figure out where this is anyway. So I turn and suffle to the door and leave my uncomfortable room in my new city. The hallway's so long, now. And no doors at all. It's a real engineering enigma. And so white, bright and blinding. But it's the only way out, so I plod down it for what feels like and eternity only to be met with a stairwell. Cold concrete stairs, dim lighting, unbelieveable. But it will get me down to the street, there's nothing for me up here. Down 7 flights I reach a lobby. Cobwebs hang from all corners here. The once brilliant oak counter or operations desk or whatever, is now marrer with huge gashes and cracks. The entire room is a disaster. Great dirty panes of glass, with sunlight pouring through the missing and boken pieces grace the walls, and chairs are strewn about in no particular semblance. I don't understand. The drawers of the counter fly open as I grab for papers, anything, even the smallest hint. They're all empty. Not a shred of paper is here.
The far side features 3 doors, marked 1 - 3. There's no directory, but I guess it doesn't matter. Door one proves to be locked, as does door three. The 2nd is the only knob to turn. The door glides open sending creaks echoing through the immense room, and before me is an old elevator. Nowhere else to go. The buttons only were labeled up and down. Down. The lights in the elevator work, but just barely. With bump it decends and they flicker. There's no floor counter, nothing to reference the outside world but a dull sense of falling slowly. Slowly my mind makes it's way back into my head. But it's no less empty. How long is this going to be going down? Or did it stop? Am i just used to it by now? A panic wells up from deep within and claustrophobia enters the forefront of the thoughts. Wildly my fingers fly between the two buttons, they struggle at the seam of the doors and rain blows on the walls. Finally it splits. The comfort I sought flows away with the blood in my face. Infront of my eyes are floors. Floors upon floors flying by at an unbelievable swiftness. Dropping feet, yards, miles in mere seconds. The flicker of the lights is maddening, and the feeling of helplessness begins to overwhelm me. But I can do nothing as the door close again, this time accompanied by a great pounding on the roof of the elevator. Dust shakes from above, and the volume adds to the light and dark flashing around me. Finally I feel it. It's not slowing, but a great shifting of balance from one side to the other. As if the entire carriage were swinging, were a huge pendelum. Cracks run up the 4 walls. Pieces fall and soon my room is surrounded by rushing walls, dissintegrating around me as the cracks begin to overtake the floor. I can do nothing. I watch, my mind fixated on the floor that's getting smaller as I drop through into the abyss. All sensation ceases, dark again.
My eyes fly open as my cell phone makes an inordinant amount of noise vibrating against the top if my bedside table. Slowly the screens comes into focus enough to read it. Lillian. She's my beau, we've been together for a long time. Ever since I moved to this town because bad thing happened, I didn't have a crowd. My sophomore year I had one friend, Lawson. That was it, my only tie, but it was enough and we got by. Then she showed up, 3rd period in 2nd semester we met and I don't know what happened, but it's been two years. Accept. Her voice is familiar, safe. I slide away from my room as we talk, I'm no longer in my house, on my block, I'm nowhere. My body is riding the wireless signals to satellites and back to her.
"Ok cool see you at 7ish or whatever, luv ya byeee!"
I'm in my room now. A quick glance to the clock.. 5:41.. and I'm out agai.. boom boom boom. No, I'm not out. The door opens and it's Lawson. Nice.
"What's up man, busy?"
"Nah, Lillian's coming over at 7.. ish. What're you doin"
"Eh, same old, there's nothin going on, you guys should come watch a movie at my place.. got a new Netflix. It's gonna be legit."
"Heh, we didn't have plans anyways, that works for me."
"That's what's up, wanna kill this pack man?"
I lean on my garage and let the flame lick the tip of my cigarette. I breathe it and it fills a void. I don't know what it is, but it's there, and it's empty.
"It's warm out.."
"Yea for February" I pull my hat over my ears a little.. "it's not that warm though." The fire warms me inside, I feel fuzzy.
It's the same talk, over and over. That's what we have, that's what's good. I don't want to spend time doing otherwise. Grey snow falls into a tiny pile by my shoes, and I let the fire die.
The movie was legit. Lillian lay her head on my shoulder as I slowly lost track of what was going on. I couldn't focus my eyes. Sleep. Consciousness slipped away.
Where the hell.. oh. Credits were rolling. What a legit movie. But I'm alone infront of the TV. I stumble to the kitchen, empty. Then upstairs.. no one. I'll go to Lawson's room. I slowly crack the door open and stop dead.
Lillian's pale velvet skin completely exposed, her back arched in ecstasy... Her head was thrown backward, mouth half open and eyes shut tight... They slowly opened and looked into mine.
That picture. I.. I.. it didn't matter that it was Lawson, or anyone. It was searing into my mind. A memory that wouldn't leave ever. I knew it after 1 second, 5 seconds, 5 hours, it's a tattoo on my daydreams. I slammed the door shut and careened down the stairs. I wqas completely blind..rage, anger, sadness. A roulette wheel spun and the emotions bounced where they pleased. I escaped into the warm february night, hot tears flowed from my white eyes and down my cheeks. They stained the icy walkway, a whole new layer of ice. I flooded the city. It was drowning, under saltwater. I was drowning. A rush of buildings and lights flew by and didn't end until my eyes shut. Covered by a pillow back in my room. It wouldn't stop, the tears wouldn't stop. Gasping for each breathe as my body wore itself out. I could go no further. Once again thoughts slipped away and I slipped away to another plane. Blackness.
Eyelids peel back and dim light pours in again. I'm laying on another dirty floor, staring out of a pair of open sliding elevator doors. Beyond the doors it looks like just an alley.. how odd. I drag myself up, doubled over from an emptyness in the pit of my stomache. Emotions overflowing into physical pain, inside and out being torn asunder.. I made my way slowly into the world. From a dirty floor to a dirty alley. Boxes and garbage cans made for a cliche'd scene, as a light wind rustled the tufts of grass growing from the cracked and neglected pavement. Around the corner was the main road, and the lighter caught the light and showed its position. I picked it up and jammed it into my pocket as I wander aimlessly to the corner at the end of the block.. 7th street. There was still no one around, just me. Maybe that's the lonely despair I feel inside.A chainlink fence across the road clanked around, making the only other noise aside from the persistent wind making the occasional whistle through the empty grey buildings. Blocks and blocks show no sign of anything different, each building just as empty and bleak as the next. Each step echoing as loudly against the walls as the last. Finally the road lifts as the buildings become taller. I've made it all the way to a 4 lane expressway, looking like it's leading all the way to the downtown.. or the tallest buildings on the horizon anyway. I figure that must be the best way to go. Maybe either way is the wrong direction, but I've already come this far. Gazing down the painfully straight stretch of road I'm walking down I see clouds raise from the horizon. Slowly buildings start fall in towards the center of the road. I strain to see what's going on, but it's no use. It's coming closer, small pebbles on the road vibrate and dance to the beat of the distant rubble on my path. Finally the begins to drop off. From the center point far away I see if disappear, as if the road were folding into the earth, dragging in the surrounding buildings as a huge chasm opens. I can't panic. I can't watch calmly. There's nothing to do around this at all, so I stand paralyzed. I'm a spectator watching the movie unfold in front of me. It's rushing closer and closer. Great chunks of concrete and rebar tearing and bending then dropping into obscurity. The ground once again crumbles under me. Once again I begin falling. Air rushes by my face as I'm surrounded by chunks of where I was just standing. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
I'm conscious but I can't move. I refuse to. My head aches and my body feels broken. Again. Still, my alarm won't stop. It's screaming and just making matters all the more worse. Ok, fine. I hit the snooze button and warily venture towards the kitchen. It's already 11:30.. graduation's in an hour and a half. Some day to graduate, I tilt my head back and swallow some pills.. washing them down with a gatorade. Can't wait for those to kick in, this is going to be rough. There's a note on the stove
"Hi sweetie, went to run a few errands before graduation, we'll meet you there! Congratulations son, we *heart* you!"
House is all mine.. I gotta make sure I don't fall asleep and miss the day or something.. I'd hate to let everyone down. I cuss and stumble as I accidentally kick the empty bottle on my floor from last night. Splendid. I toss on a shirt and shorts and grab the dumb robe and hat combo as I walk out the door.
Finally I'm in line waiting to walk the stage. This is it I guess, the culmination of 4 years.. hell, 12 years. The last time I'll see olds friends before a 5 years reunion.. maybe ever even. The names being read over the loudspeaker and dulled by the thoughts in my head. Life was so easy, and now who knows what will happen. It's all planned out until you graduate, everyone does the same thing. Now it's time to branch off, to be free.The weight of freedom drags me down. My legs walk the stage after I heard my name, a slow shuffle to accept a handshake and paper. I look out into the crowd, I can't see my family. Just tons of unfamiliar faces. This town I'd spent the last few years in, and I don't recognize anyone, it's not my town, I'm just a guest.
Once it's all over with I want to find my family, I know they'll want to see me. All around there's my classmates, taking pictures with parents, talking, hugging.. where are they? A couple of my friends stop me and we talk.. about how exciting it's going to be, and how college will be great, their future's bright. I guess I'll just call my mom's cell.. I grab mine out of my pocket, I had it off, I almost forgot. There's a voicemail waiting for me, I might as well listen.
"Hi honey, listen closely ok?"
..what
"I'm sorry we can't make it to your graduation.. sniff I'm sure you looked so handsome on stage. But, something happened."
.. my chest tightens up
"We were driving and.. there was an accident. Come to the hospital, the one on 4th street. Your brother and I are a little banged up, but we were hit from the driver's side. I.. your father's in"
.. oh god.. there's a pause, my mom's crying
"He's not doing well, when you get this please hurry here"
..click. The room doesn't exist around me. My phone finds it's way back into my pocket and I run. The square hat goes flying, it doesn't matter. Bodies fly past me as I burn down the aisles of my old school. The robe flows like a superhero's cape, but there's no powers. I get to my car and my mind's wild. Reverse, drive, gas pedal and I'm off with squealing tires.
I burst through the hospital doors and rush to the desk, west wing, 3rd floor. Ok. I gotta hurry. Waiting room. There. There's my mom and brother. Their faces are flushed and tears are rolling from both of their bloodshot eyes when they see me. I run over and we all embrace.
"What happened?".. it's quiet for an eternity. It's just us, nothing else exists as the silence encroaches on us.
"He's gone.." that's all she could manage to get out. I can't process it. This can't happen. I'm still in my graduation robe. That's all that was planned for today, there's no other goings on. No, it happened. This is our family, us 3. No one else, that's how it is.
I walked across a stage while my own dad was dying. He left before I even got here. I sit, I bury my head between my knees and just sob and sob. I'll never open my eyes again.
The sun's shimmering through the rustling leaves of a tree I wake to find myself sitting under. Above me a huge freeway looms, suspended by huge grey pillars, but there's no sound of traffic. Hell, there's no sign of anything. I'm completely alone again. On shaking knees I follow underneath the shade of the road, hands jammed into my pockets fiddling with my lighter. There's blocks and blows of cracked concrete with grass growing from it, no sign of anymore trees though. The buildings off to either side of me seem to be getting bigger, and as they reach for the sky each one seems to be in worse shape. Panes of glass have been shattered and lay in piles on the ground, trim pieces missing, even doors missing showing great black expanses they once covered up. Each one unreachable due to seemingly endless chainlink fence between I and them on either side, though. Like it wants me to keep going. So I do, taking in each new sight. The freeway above doesn't appear to be in any better shape. The exposed concrete matches my path below, cracked and old looking. After what seemed like forever the narrow path I'd been on opens up into a clearing.. like a city square. Ahead of me in the center I can see two ornate fountains. They look flawless as they elegantly stream water high into the air, landing in the adjacent fountain. They were beautiful. From the center there was a circle of benches around them, then a ring of flowers, trees, a walking path, a regal stone wall about waist height, lush grass, and finally a huge ring of cobblestones that encircled the entire deal from the buildings right to where the grass started. After walking through miles of dismal scenery with no sign of any life this sight is like water in a hopeless desert. I tentatively make my way through one of the ornate gates in the wall. As I walk around them each one is more breathtaking that the last. Brass patterns that have begun to be weathered by time tell of the craftsmanship behind them. They glide open on silent hinges. I take respite on one of the benches near the fountains and let my senses feast. The breeze that rustled the leaves under my tree now picks up a light mist from the spectacle in front of me and blows it onto my face. I close my eyes to the sun and lay back as the surroundings slip away
The alarm clock goes off again. It's another day, I roll over to hit snooze. The bed's empty, just like when I got in it last night. I check my phone... 1 text. Ugh
"Janice, 1:38 am: Hey, I'm just gonna crash at Amber's house, we had too much fun at the bar"
Uh huh, that's all she ever does lately, girl's night out. I've been married to her for 5 years, and now I feel like I don't know the woman. Another day where I sit on the side of my bed and just think.
2pm rolls around before the dust gets knocked off the front door as Janice comes waltzing in. I knock back what's left in the glass as I glance her way.
"Fun times with the girls?"
"Oh always, hahaha oh do we ever go crazy." She shoots me a devilish smile.
Good. No, great. Glad someone's having fun. I feel so un fun nowdays. Or did something just break once she stopped frequenting her own house?
She throws her stuff on the table and runs off to take a shower. Slowly I pull myself out of my chair and pick up her coat to hang it. A glint of light then a clink.. what the? I pick it up, the wedding ring I bought her. The ring I lost a weeks worth of sleep over wondering if she'll love it, cherish it.. me...
Now reduced to a simple bit of pocket change, just as easy to lose as an old penny. What happened. I hang her coat up and her phone blows up on the table.
Dare I? I can't.. I can't snoop. But why's her ring in her pocket. I need to. Fine... I'm ashamed.
"1 new text"
..view now
"Brandon, 2:06 pm: Going out with the "girls" again tonight?? ;)"
.. dear god..
"mark as unread".
She's not here because she's with Brandon. There's no girls. There's nothing left. We were each other's everything at once point, now look at us. What can I do. I can pour myself another drink and sit back down.
It's another night where I get in bed alone, and another morning with the like. I wait weeks.. it needs to reach a breaking point but I can't move ahead. Inside of me the emotions just pile one onto another. Each day a little more spiteful towards this woman. I need to confront her.. but then I'll be alone. I'm already alone. But then it's official. Each lonely night leaves me staring at my ceiling with this and I can't get it out of my head. How dare she so blatantly do this to me. What did I do. Does she really think I believe what she's out doing.
I can't keep anymore in, though, and I overflow. She's home and it pours out. Unbelieveable, she's like a deer in headlights. Blindsided. She can't be surprised?
Her dead eyes cast to the floor, I expected yelling, but she looks so pitiful and scared. I shake the feelings, she's evil, she's tearing me into hundreds of pieces. My insides writhe as this plays out, this is me losing the love of my life. This is the end of it.
A tear falls from the tip of her nose as she looks back at me.
"Give me your hand".. she drops something in it. The ring again..
"I'm sorry, it's been over for.. a few months now." She looks at me squarely, as if it makes her any less deceitful.
"We need a divorce, I can't love you." It rings over and over in my head, I can't get those words to leave me. I can't do anything.
I walk out the door and into my car and drive. I don't know how long. I watch the miles count up as the day slips away. Just another day.
I unlock the front door by moonlight and walk into my dark house. I flick the lightswitch to my room and light bathes the empty shelves where Janice's things once were. It was all gone. Every piece of her was gone from this house. Her half of the closet was bare. Her dresser, empty. God did I feel like Janice's closet right now. That sick woman left framed photos of us, though. She didn't take any of them.
Well I don't want them either. Why the hell did she leave this crap. At least dispose of it like you disposed of me. You can throw me away but you can't throw away this goddamn picture of us. You goddamn whore.
I fling one across the room against the wall. Glass explodes everywhere. Then the second one, and the third. Through the tears I dispatch them all. Soon we're just a heap on the floor, and I end up as a heap on my bed as I close my eyes and try to sleep.
With a yawn I stretch my arms and legs and slowly open my eyes to let them adjust to the sun. But there's no sun, dismal clouds shade my surroundings. The two fountains infront of me are dried up versions of their former glory, nary a droplet graces their crumbling architechture. The beches are worn and oxidized, behind them a ring of dirt with shriveled petals strewn about. Bit of wall are missing and the trees look like they haven't seen water for months . The old brass gate voices its lament as I open it. A grey filter covers the entire city circle. Dry grass crunches under my feet as before I step onto the cobblestone. Surrounding me are more derelict buildings forming a complete circle. There's no path I walked down to get here. Nothing's how I remember it at all. What happened to my own personal oasis, I thought this had been what I was searching for this whole time. I clutch my lighter tight, I don't know. Every building is just as forsaken as the last. The great display windows in some have long ago been broken just like so many others I'd seen. The displays were no longer in front, just black empty storefronts. None of this ring any bell, I don't know why I didn't notice this the first time. I walk past each one, they all have doors still.. strange. Finally there's one, the door is wide open. It beckons. There's no other way to go, I saunter in to find another dark corridor. This one leads to stairs. A great round staircase, I lose count of the tattered red velvet covered steps as I descend it. Finally at the bottom I find a great oak double door. More intricate carvings adorn it, and two crystaline knobs are there for opening them. As I reach out and grab one an endless sense of loss grips me. It flows to every point in my body and it's all I can do to force my way through the doors beneath the sudden crushing weight. With labored breaths I stumble into a huge room and slam the great doors behind me. The edges of my vision blur the lofty arches I'm now surrounded by. Murals and designs cover the entire ceiling high above me. They're so busy it's impossible to decipher what they are in the dark and in my panic. I fall to my hands and knees and look ahead. The far side of the room is drawing near me. Behind me the doors, too, encroach. To my left and right the walls are pulling away, the arches that suspend the ornate roof drawing slowly into the distance. Left or right. I need to run. I can barely stand as I give chase to the retreating wall, pieces of painted plaster rain down and cover me with dust. I reach out on either side of me and brush my fingers along my new corridor. I need to bring my hands closer.. and closer to my body. Oh god, they're at my sides. My mouth opens to scream but nothing comes out, I lose my steps and fall to the floor but I'm stopped in midair as my eyes roll to the back of my head and it goes blank.
10:36am. Perfect. I sigh as I pick myself out of my bed slowly. What's the point. I was supposed to be at work a couple hours ago. What's it matter, this old alarm clock has let me down more times than I can remember, maybe todays the day, maybe I won't have to get up early again after today. I've only been with this company 3 years anyway, what do I have that they can't replace. I throw on clothes, knock back a glass of Jameson, and trudge out the door.
4pm rolls around and I leave my building for the last time. It doesn't matter, I'll never need another job. Heavy raindrops beat me mercilessly as I walk the sidewalks. Finally I get to me car, with a parking ticket waiting for me. Looks like my parking pass ran out. I toss it on the ground as I drive home.
I pour myself some cereal, then pull a pen out of a drawer.
I'd been saving this pen. It was beautiful. Brass trim adorned it, and it was heavy. It could've been the best thing I owned. 2nd best thing I owned.
I ate the cereal slowly as I scribbled words onto the paper, I kept it to one piece, both sides. Wasn't so hard. I dialed up my momther, and my brother. No one answered. Good. I bought some flowers on my way here, so I put them into a vase and left the note by them. They were beautiful, daisies that were yellow as the summer sun. They lit my entire kitchen.
Sigh. Well, that's about it. I suppose.
Inside my bedroom I unscrew the cap of my red container and begin to pour. In the bed, on the floor, all over the empty shelves. All the dust that occupied them gets washed off. There, all 3 gallons. I lie down in my bed and light a cigarette with my zippo lighter. I let the smoke fill me, complete me. I toss the lighter aside and the flame meets the damp carpet. It catches. Orange flames spread from where it landed as I take another drag. I blow it out. The shelves turn black. The pictures on the floor are finally gone. The pieces of picture frames go with them, too. The curtains dance, they look like girls in brightly colored dresses. I breathe smoke even when the cigarette isn't to my bleeding lips. I flick an ash. It's so bright in here but yet I can barely see. And the heat. For the first time in years I feel warm, safe. I flick away my cigarette and close my eyes.
My eyes open slowly as light pours in, filling my retina as images become clearer. On the cracked ceiling an old fan lazily turns, and the tattered blinds dance as wind blows in from an open window. What is this?
[QUOTE=clutch2;30982173]My eyes open slowly as light pours in, filling my retina as images become clearer. On the cracked ceiling an old fan lazily turns, and the tattered blinds dance as wind blows in from an open window. What is this?
My eyes open slowly as light pours in, filling my retina as images become clearer. On the cracked ceiling an old fan lazily turns, and the tattered blinds dance as wind blows in from an open window. What is this?[/QUOTE]
This always seemed like a cheap way to be artsy to me
So many eyes!
I'm going to go find a corner to think about this for a while
[QUOTE=wewt!;30991210]This always seemed like a cheap way to be artsy to me[/QUOTE]
I wanted to portray the fact that this whole deal was apparently going to happen again, over and over, and I felt him waking up in the same room, but with different wording would diminish that fact? Agree or disagree?
Eyes.. yea I see what you mean. At the end of every "part" he had to black out in some sort of way, and at the beginning he woke up, so I ended up with lots of eyes in those descriptions I think lol.
Gonna find a corner to think because it's deep? Sad? Worth thinking about? Or want to commit suicide because it sucked and you wasted 20 mins reading it?
BTW thanks for taking the time to read it, those of you who did!
the first two.
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