Former Tenn. lawmaker allegedly drove 90 MPH while masturbating out window - Polidicks

[quote]Three different women last week testified that a former Tennessee lawmaker exposed himself to them while driving at a breakneck speed, WJHL reported.[/quote] [quote]"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and [b]masturbating[/b]," witness Deborah Sturgill said.[/quote] [quote]"At over 90 miles per hour,[b] he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating...[/b] and that's when it got really, really bad"[/quote] [url]http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/tenn-lawmaker-allegedly-drove-90-mph-while-masturbating[/url] :v: I swear this isn't the Onion.

Never saw that coming.

This is just amazing. [editline]10th April 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Hellduck;40234896]Never saw that coming.[/QUOTE] Oh god why

[QUOTE=Hellduck;40234896]Never saw that coming.[/QUOTE] How? It was outside the window.

[QUOTE=dogmachines;40234908]How? It was outside the window.[/QUOTE] It was all a blur. He was coming at me far too quickly.

Masturbation is an extreme sport now? Maybe I can complete my childhood dreams of being in the X-Games.

Why is it always politicians doing this kind of shit!?

[QUOTE=Derubermensch;40234957]Why is it always politicians doing this kind of shit!?[/QUOTE] Because a lot of them are actually fucked in the head.

Live fast, Die hard.

How would you even keep your foot on the accelerator while sticking your dick out the window?

I wish I lived in the desert so I could drive out in the middle of nowhere and try this. I bet it feels good, man.

thats how i wanna die

[QUOTE=Derubermensch;40234957]Why is it always politicians doing this kind of shit!?[/QUOTE] It isn't. When normal people do stupid shit it isn't news worthy. Him being a politician makes it much more worthy.

I bet it was hard telling it was him coming that fast.

[QUOTE=Lexic;40234989]How would you even keep your foot on the accelerator while sticking your dick out the window?[/QUOTE] tripod

This guy shouldn't get punished, this guy should get a fuckin prize.

[QUOTE=Lexic;40234989]How would you even keep your foot on the accelerator while sticking your dick out the window?[/QUOTE] cruise control for cool B)

so they got a look at his face, recognized him as a particular politician, and described him even wetting his hand, all while he flew by in a car at speeds that people rarely push on the highway while sitting down with a firm grip on the wheel, but in such a position that his midsection was thrust out the window (to which even facepunchers can't fathom how he managed to accelerate or steer) this can't possibly be some sort of coordinated libel (by people who don't understand what 'believability' is) to mess with a politician's rep

Yeah, this just screams bullshit.

[QUOTE=daijitsu;40235217]so they got a look at his face, recognized him as a particular politician, and described him even wetting his hand, all while he flew by in a car at speeds that people rarely push on the highway while sitting down with a firm grip on the wheel, but in such a position that his midsection was thrust out the window (to which even facepunchers can't fathom how he managed to accelerate or steer) this can't possibly be some sort of coordinated libel (by people who don't understand what 'believability' is) to mess with a politician's rep[/QUOTE] Pfft I do this every day on my way to work. I don't see why they're making such a fuzz of it, america I guess lol.

I swear officer, it just jumped out in front of me!

[QUOTE=MrBluesy;40235283]america I guess lol.[/QUOTE] Because adding that contributed to making a semi-intelligent post, right?

I was reading the title and was confused why it really matters that a Tennessee lawmaker was driving 90 miles per hour, then I read the second half. Like, what the fuck. Why?

Dude's living the dream, yo.

[QUOTE=daijitsu;40235217]so they got a look at his face, recognized him as a particular politician, and described him even wetting his hand, all while he flew by in a car at speeds that people rarely push on the highway while sitting down with a firm grip on the wheel, but in such a position that his midsection was thrust out the window (to which even facepunchers can't fathom how he managed to accelerate or steer) this can't possibly be some sort of coordinated libel (by people who don't understand what 'believability' is) to mess with a politician's rep[/QUOTE] [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7996815.stm[/url] well after reading that I wouldn't doubt it

[QUOTE=daijitsu;40235217]so they got a look at his face, recognized him as a particular politician, and described him even wetting his hand, all while he flew by in a car at speeds that people rarely push on the highway while sitting down with a firm grip on the wheel, but in such a position that his midsection was thrust out the window (to which even facepunchers can't fathom how he managed to accelerate or steer) this can't possibly be some sort of coordinated libel (by people who don't understand what 'believability' is) to mess with a politician's rep[/QUOTE] god damn take the tinfoil hat off obviously they wouldn't joke about a man [I]masturbating[/I] eughh

[QUOTE=DeadCow;40235321]Because adding that contributed to making a semi-intelligent post, right?[/QUOTE] Sarcasm, guess I'm not good at it :v:

This man needs all the awards so he can sell them to pay fines and settlements [editline]10th April 2013[/editline] Anyway, this man is skilled. Godly, even.

[QUOTE=daijitsu;40235217]so they got a look at his face, recognized him as a particular politician, and described him even wetting his hand, all while he flew by in a car at speeds that people rarely push on the highway while sitting down with a firm grip on the wheel, but in such a position that his midsection was thrust out the window (to which even facepunchers can't fathom how he managed to accelerate or steer) this can't possibly be some sort of coordinated libel (by people who don't understand what 'believability' is) to mess with a politician's rep[/QUOTE] they probably recognized him because of his dick, i know i could

Breakdick speeds