• Oh god what: Firefighters Help Man Remove Penis From a Toaster
    34 replies, posted
[quote]Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster. It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London's finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device. Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner. And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone. These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010. Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total. Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: “Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense. “I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up. “I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them. “I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such. “When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.”[/quote] [url]http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520[/url] How? Was he trying to make Penis toast?
[quote] “I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them" [/quote] haw haw
hot
[QUOTE=shian;42453567]How? Was he trying to make Penis toast?[/QUOTE] A Peninis
[QUOTE]It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to[/QUOTE] I'm not too sure if I really want to know what he was up to. Maybe I want to know a little bit, but I feel it'd still be too odd.
[QUOTE=Octavius;42453626]I'm not too sure if I really want to know what he was up to. Maybe I want to know a little bit, but I feel it'd still be too odd.[/QUOTE] he was sticking his dick in a toaster
What in the name of christ. Why would you stick your dink in a toaster
How in the fuck do you compare a toaster to a vagina?
[QUOTE=Anthophobian;42453684]How in the fuck do you compare a toaster to a vagina?[/QUOTE] A hole is a hole..?
[QUOTE=Anthophobian;42453684]How in the fuck do you compare a toaster to a vagina?[/QUOTE] yea, it would make more sense if he was fucking arby's roast beef
[QUOTE=Naught;42453698]yea, it would make more sense if he was fucking arby's roast beef[/QUOTE] [B]NOW[/B] you're thinkin Arby's :v:
any holes a goal I suppose
[QUOTE=jaegerisacunt;42453608]haw haw[/QUOTE] I like that guy
[QUOTE=Kegan;42453655]What in the name of christ. Why would you stick your dink in a toaster[/QUOTE] he heard it was pretty hot
I want to see: "Man who got his penis stuck in a toaster gets his penis stuck in the fan"
Get the Jaws of Life in there.
[QUOTE=Hamsterjuice;42453654]he was sticking his dick in a toaster[/QUOTE] But for what reason? Did he drop something in there and not have something else to get it out with so he became really desperate and tried using his dick instead?
maybe he thought it was bread
He was making a sandwich.
If it has a hole. Someone will fuck it.
My dick is cringing just by reading this thread.
[QUOTE=ClarkWasHere;42454038]Get the Jaws of Life in there.[/QUOTE] If he had the jaws of life, he wouldn't need the toaster.
Still doesn't beat the guy who snuck into someone's backyard and got his dick stuck in a swimming pool air jet.
He just wanted a cockmeat sandwich.
[QUOTE=Octavius;42454040]But for what reason? Did he drop something in there and not have something else to get it out with so he became really desperate and tried using his dick instead?[/QUOTE] Why do you think we stick our penis in things?
Man it'd really suck if he stuck it in there and turned it on, your penis would have like grill marks. And I'm sure someone has done this before to sate their sadomasochism fetish or w/e.
[QUOTE=Badballer;42454466]Why do you think we stick our penis in things?[/QUOTE] Sometimes you can't be too sure, especially in cases where it involves just fucking it up. Cause if you somehow think fucking a toaster is a good idea for sexual pleasure, then something might be a bit off with you.
I want to know what was going through the firefighters minds when they saw this.
Where's that user that had toaster porn for his signature thing?
Obviously, an aspiring member of the Adeptus Mechanicus.
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