Embarrassing Situations thread V.2: I shoved a pencil into my anus - General

After the resounding success of the first thread, I thought this needed a reboot! My content: I was running during track, and when my buddy leaned down from how tired he was, I let out a 10 second silent fart. While he is still holding onto his knees, he sniffs and throws up all over his shoes. I never told him it was me :( [editline]31st March 2013[/editline] [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1198401[/url]

I will repost my old one! About a year ago, After I finally graduated high school, I was always a closet bisexual, still am, because my closest friends are really big Homophobs and it's weird that they haven't found out yet. But one time, it was a Friday night and in this public park we have, is a bathroom and in the men's, there's a stall with a glory hole someone made, now it was mostly made of a gag joke, but sometimes people seriously use it, well I was still a virgin gay, (I had sex with women before, was just to scared to actually get a boyfriend because of what other would think of me) so I decided to keep it anonymous and waited for another guy to do the deed. Well about ten minutes pass before someone finally came in, I gave a little cough to let him know someone was waiting, now two thoughts ran through my head either A) He was actually going to do it. B) This guy is a top gay hating redneck that is going to bust through the stall and ring my neck while yelling biblical rights down my throat. so all in all, I was a nervous wreck, but turns out. He actually did it. But pulled back, I was a bit confused so I moved my head in a bit closer, and BAM, it hit me in the face, I got stunned and fell back, only to notice the shoes. My eyes went wide, it was the same pair of shoes my best friend wore. I slowly croaked out "K-Kyle?" And I could just feel him freeze and tense up. It was him, the biggest homophobic I knew. We were both frozen for what it felt like hours. He finally just stepped out and left. I felt sick to my stomach. A bad thing is, we work at the same place, same shift. We didn't talk for a good while. Well, a year has passed since then and were cool, it was never brought up again, but it is still in the back of my head, just branded there forever.

Some gold: [quote=Behemoth_PT]I was walking through the beach with a couple of friends of mine and we reached a very remote place far away along the coast. The place was fairly rocky so it was easy to both get lost and to miss anyone laying on the sand. So me and my friends pick up this plank - probably from an old boat - floating above the water and we start making stupid shit with it. So I picked it up and started drawing in the sand with it. Then I don't know why I threw it across the rocks and I hear BONK followed by a manly "OUCH!" Next thing I know we're running for our lives from a nudist while yelling I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. But I wasn't being taken seriously because as he was running his dick started bouncing around in an obscene manner which made me laugh so damn hard that no diplomatic talk would save me from what was about to unfold. And it was the latest most embarrassing thing that happened these days.[/quote] [quote=OvB]I was sitting in art class in Junior year of Highschool. Was a pretty chill class. Teacher let us listen to music and what not. Well me and my friends were listening to one of their ipods using a splitter cable. I can't remember what we were talking about but it caused me to say "WHAT THE FUCK?" Given that I was listening to music fairly loud, what I thought was a whisper was actually echoed throughout the room. I suddenly got that feeling you get when you can sense people are staring at you, along with the unusual quietness of the room. I look up to see everyone looking at me. The teacher just says "HEY! watch your mouth." and everything goes back to normal. To add, I was pretty much the quiet kid in the class. So I imagine everyone was pretty awe-struck at the sudden outburst of profanity.[/quote] [quote=Quark]i was at a public loo one time using the urinal, and there was a guy using the urinal two-over to my left. following the code of manhood, we pissed in silence until the guy in the stall behind us unleashed an enormous, rupturous fart. i bursted out laughing and snot came out my nose - while pissing - and the guy two-over started screaming, "What's funny?? HUH? What's funny??" i washed myself up and left E:i feel obliged to also mention another important detail the instant after the fart, there was a subtle *bloop* from his brown hate dropping into the bowl which was what mainly made me eject mucas from my nose in laughter. Edited: i've also just remembered another detail that haunts me too the person in the stall unleashed a cackling laughter as i left, perhaps as a show of dominance, proving to all that his mustard gas was sufficient to grant him his own private toiletry.[/quote] [quote=Samuka97]Dead quiet, just the sound of people writing and flipping pages. Since I was a bit sick, I had to cough. So I did. Here's the thing though - I was holding in this fart that I just knew was going to be horrible, so when I coughed, it came out as a full force, ass-rippling and incredibly loud fart, for everyone to notice. The whole class just kinda looked at me like "uh..", and then I realized that I hadn't farted. I was still holding in the fart. So I look down under my table like "what the hell was that" to find a piece of inflated gum with a hole in it, poofing out some air. Up to this day I still get weird looks from people that were there.[/quote] [quote=LieutenantLeo]once, a bunch of my younger cousins were in my room, watching me on the computer playing games, and I started up Garry's Mod, and some mod i had installed the day before for some reason included a gay furry sonic the hedgehog wallpaper, and so, everyone saw it and asked why sonic was drinking knuckles's milk...[/quote]

I was really little, and my mom brought me to church for the first time. During the sermon, I got up and announced to the world that I could hop on one foot, and proceeded to bound all across the room. I still meet people who know me as "the boy who hopped around the church on one foot".

I'd make a post but I doubt I could fit my entire life onto this page.

i was in a play in the 7th grade but i forgot my lines so i was just standing there in center stage for about 15 whole seconds when i muttered into the microphone "aw fuck i forgot my lines" and i got suspended

I used to watch a lot of Star Trek: The Next Generation and didn't really like going to church. So when I was little and everyone was talking at once during prayer/hymns, it reminded me of how the Borg talk, and how when one talks, the rest talk with it. So I was sitting there during a prayer, and as everyone else was talking together, I was mumbling/saying "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. Lower your shields and disarm your weap-" and then I saw her. This one, gigantic beast of a woman was staring me down with the most furious expression on her face. I piped down for the rest of that mass. And other masses. And that's why I don't like church.

I don't want to sound like an asshole but there's already a thread up (and it's already v2): [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1250304[/url] It has fallen off the first page so it's as good as dead though...

[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;40113357]I'd make a post but I doubt I could fit my entire life onto this page.[/QUOTE] It all started when my dad posted on his forum "You just cum in a vag until it happens."

I was walking with a friend on Random Shavtreet #123, then I say: Hey your shoe is untied [sp]In a pretty awkward voice too [/sp]. I give two or three steeps, trip with my own shoelace, yelling AH FUCK!, everyone was staring down at me while my friend was laughing his ass off, then I feel something "flowing" off my knee, it was blood. Either way try to stand up only to fell of again (over some people). Latter I woke up on the hospital ... the doctor said I dislocated my knee. zhe end Also. -Enjoy your X, sir +y-y-You too

new one-- a few months ago, i was in class and feeling suddenly really really sleepy for no reason. then all of a sudden i was dreaming and having all sorts of crazy visuals and the feeling of swimming towards the surface from the bottom of a lake or something. so i wake up and i'm on the floor, my head is caught under a chair, and my head and arm are throbbing like crazy. i look up and every person in the class is looking at me like they saw a ghost. turns out, i passed out and started convulsing and hitting my head on the chair while i was unconscious. so they all just sit there staring at me until security comes and escorts me to the health room, which sucked. then i went to the hospital and they ran some tests and they're not sure what happened but i've been perfect since then so it's all good. i really really wish that event hadn't happened because my classmates acted different towards me for a while after that, like i was going to have a seizure at any moment. but ye that was the past it's all good now.

[QUOTE=crazycory65;40113084]I will repost my old one! About a year ago, After I finally graduated high school, I was always a closet bisexual, still am, because my closest friends are really big Homophobs and it's weird that they haven't found out yet. But one time, it was a Friday night and in this public park we have, is a bathroom and in the men's, there's a stall with a glory hole someone made, now it was mostly made of a gag joke, but sometimes people seriously use it, well I was still a virgin gay, (I had sex with women before, was just to scared to actually get a boyfriend because of what other would think of me) so I decided to keep it anonymous and waited for another guy to do the deed. Well about ten minutes pass before someone finally came in, I gave a little cough to let him know someone was waiting, now two thoughts ran through my head either A) He was actually going to do it. B) This guy is a top gay hating redneck that is going to bust through the stall and ring my neck while yelling biblical rights down my throat. so all in all, I was a nervous wreck, but turns out. He actually did it. But pulled back, I was a bit confused so I moved my head in a bit closer, and BAM, it hit me in the face, I got stunned and fell back, only to notice the shoes. My eyes went wide, it was the same pair of shoes my best friend wore. I slowly croaked out "K-Kyle?" And I could just feel him freeze and tense up. It was him, the biggest homophobic I knew. We were both frozen for what it felt like hours. He finally just stepped out and left. I felt sick to my stomach. A bad thing is, we work at the same place, same shift. We didn't talk for a good while. Well, a year has passed since then and were cool, it was never brought up again, but it is still in the back of my head, just branded there forever.[/QUOTE] doesn't that just figure so perfectly

Only thing I can really think of is this. Back in third grade I was up at the calendar doing some normal presentation thing or whatever for the class, just a thing each kids does somethings nothing special but I'm still the center of attention for that time. I was feeling fine and everything, and out of nowhere I just start puking. Like literally out of nowhere. Went home early that day and was out the rest of the week (It happened on a Monday) with bronchitis.

[URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1250304"]you just thread jacked me [/URL]

This one time I made a v2 of a popular thread and some other guy made on too and omgsuchanembarrassingsituation

I was at a stoplight not long ago, waiting for the signal to change. When I finally got the green, a car slowly rolled through the intersection, followed by another, and another. Confused as to why all of these cars were running a red light and blocking me in, I started to get a bit miffed, and began to honk and gesture rudely. The window of one of the cars rolling through rolled down, and a man in a suit leaned out and screamed, "It's a funeral, you jackass!"

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;40117375]I was at a stoplight not long ago, waiting for the signal to change. When I finally got the green, a car slowly rolled through the intersection, followed by another, and another. Confused as to why all of these cars were running a red light and blocking me in, I started to get a bit miffed, and began to honk and gesture rudely. The window of one of the cars rolling through rolled down, and a man in a suit leaned out and screamed, "It's a funeral, you jackass!"[/QUOTE] Was the hearse not a giveaway :v:?

You'd think.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;40117375]I was at a stoplight not long ago, waiting for the signal to change. When I finally got the green, a car slowly rolled through the intersection, followed by another, and another. Confused as to why all of these cars were running a red light and blocking me in, I started to get a bit miffed, and began to honk and gesture rudely. The window of one of the cars rolling through rolled down, and a man in a suit leaned out and screamed, "It's a funeral, you jackass!"[/QUOTE] What? Can a funeral go through red lights? What's the reasoning behind that? So they get more to bury when an 18-wheeler runs through them?

[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;40117985]What? Can a funeral go through red lights? What's the reasoning behind that? So they get more to bury when an 18-wheeler runs through them?[/QUOTE] It's common courtesy to give funeral processions the right of way in most situations so they don't all get split up in stop-and-go traffic. Road hierarchy: - noisy vehicles with flashing lights - dead person and friends - pedestrians - other vehicles

I remember when I was in grade 8 I used to catch the bus home. Now one day I was particularly tired so I decided to take a short nap under a tree in the middle of the schools sort of quad/garden area?? (Really really dumb Idea, have no idea why I did it in the first place.) and when I woke up someone had stolen my pants... So I had to catch the bus home in just my boxers and school shirt.

So either you weren't wearing the pants... or you slept through someone removing them from your body???

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;40117375]I was at a stoplight not long ago, waiting for the signal to change. When I finally got the green, a car slowly rolled through the intersection, followed by another, and another. Confused as to why all of these cars were running a red light and blocking me in, I started to get a bit miffed, and began to honk and gesture rudely. The window of one of the cars rolling through rolled down, and a man in a suit leaned out and screamed, "It's a funeral, you jackass!"[/QUOTE] Shouldn't a police car be leading the procession?

[QUOTE=elitehakor v2;40121396]Shouldn't a police car be leading the procession?[/QUOTE] That would be a massive waste of the police's time.

[QUOTE=elitehakor v2;40121396]Shouldn't a police car be leading the procession?[/QUOTE] It only needs to be a licensed escort apparently and laws are actually on the books about you getting the right of way if you are in a legal procession

Last time I saw a funeral procession, I did see a cop car stopping traffic at traffic junctions. It was cool since the cop car did a screeching stop to at a cool angle in middle of the intersection. It's the kind of dramatic thing you'll normally see on shows and movies.

I think I told this story before, a long time ago. This was in eight grade, our school had a section with a long corridor with 4 classrooms in it (1/5 of the lockers were located here too). I can't really remember why but for some reason I was in one of the classrooms located at the end of the corridor. So I'm outside or inside this classroom, can't really remember, and for some reason I need to get to the other side of the corridor. There was like 7-10 peeps there, a few friends included. This girl that I had started to like a little and her best friend was also standing at the end of it. I figure the fastest way to get to the other side is sprinting like Usain Bolt, so I do it. Bad idea, halfway through I can feel my jeans starting to slip down my waist. Before I know it, they've dropped so far that I trip forward, AT full speed, and land my face. I glide for like 1 meter. I hear people starting to crack up, and when I look up, I realized I'm lying right beneath these girl's feet. I stand up as quickly as I can, then I pull my pants up, EVERYONE is looking at me. I smiled, bowed like gentleman and then I got the fuck out as quickly as possible.

[QUOTE=Mastermind of42;40121614]Last time I saw a funeral procession, I did see a cop car stopping traffic at traffic junctions. It was cool since the cop car did a screeching stop to at a cool angle in middle of the intersection. It's the kind of dramatic thing you'll normally see on shows and movies.[/QUOTE] He just wanted an excuse to do that

[QUOTE=Chaotic Lord;40121095]So either you weren't wearing the pants... or you slept through someone removing them from your body???[/QUOTE] The latter :v:

When I was eleven years old I just to have really bad panic attacks that caused me to fear the outside world to a point of where I could't go outside on my own. One day my parents took me to meet a psychiatrist in the town where I lived. I remember walking in to the psychiatrists office and noticing a broken lamp in the ceiling, it went on and off making me feel really uncomfortable. After a few minutes the psychiatrist and some other lady walked in the door and sat down on the sofa next to me. At that point I was feeling anxious, I felt I needed to get out or the walls would smother me. Then the psychiatrist asked me how I was feeling and I went_full_berserk, something just snapped inside my head. I stood up and started running out of the building down the stairs(a lot of stairs) screaming and crying, trying to catch my breath. When I got out of the building I collapsed on to the parking lot crying. My mom ran after me, terrified, yelling my name repeatedly. She sat down, hugged me and told me that everything was going to be alright. We were there out in the parking lot for something like 15 minutes. At that time I was in so much pressure I was pretty much always embarrassed around strangers, so this has stuck in my mind. So, yeah. Then there was of course one time (around that time), that I was outside playing and I heard a plane. I thought it was going to drop a nuclear bomb, killing everybody near by. I ran into a shed and stayed there for thirty minutes.