• Bullshit Artist
    18 replies, posted
This is one of three papers written for a class called "Human Sexuality". It was taught by a woman with a Doctorit in her profession who has been teacher for over 10 years. A perfect score is a 50/50 (which I got). The assignment was to read a book by some guy who changed sexes into being a girl, and who was coming in to meet the class. He/She was fairly well built up as being a big deal and the teacher swore she was reading these papers. I owned the book, but I didn't read it. Nothing I say is accurate when I speak of the book. [quote]What I learned; Most importantly I learned that people shouldn’t be judged for who they are, who they want to be, or who they wish they were. These three things are really the same thing, because who you are is who you want to be. I think it’s like in Mario, where he really wants to be with Bowser, but he knows that he’s getting paid mad cash for saving the princess, and maybe he’ll even get a kiss or something if he saves her. So he is forced to destroy the one thing he truly loves, his reptilian lover. It’s just like the part in the book on page 19 where the main character pretends she’s a girl and plays games in the woods. She wanted to be an astronaut, but couldn’t be because she wasn’t cool enough. Mario always wanted to be an astronaut too, like when he jumps and tries to get the flag. Remember the first time he put on his fly-cap? That red, winged little thing that covers up whatever hair he has (at his age, probably not much). He jumps around and enjoys himself, but eventually play time is over, and it’s time for him to stop flying. If he’s still in the air, he’ll crash and die, much like Jenny and her ability to turn into a female astronaut (Something we all know is an oxymoron). I find myself struggling with these ideas and struggling to write this paper because it’s really useless. I learned that it doesn’t matter if you do or do not read this book, because I will get a 50 either way. I also learned that buying the book was utterly useless because I didn’t even need to really read it in order to do this paper. What surprised me; and What surprised me most was that everyone thought she was weird. I think it’s pretty normal to want to be someone else. I know I personally want to be someone less crazy, but I don’t see that happening any time soon. I wouldn’t ever want to change myself on the outside to reflect myself on the inside, because who I am inside is vile and disgusting. Although it might be pretty cool to be a dolphin or something. You know, like that episode of Southpark where Randy changes into a dolphin and looks really creepy and gross, and demands his own type of bathroom. And that part where Kyle wants to be black. That was pretty funny, he had balls for knees. I think that’s some pretty deep symbolism, and it clearly can be transferred over to the book and Jenny’s life. She couldn’t tell her former student in the beginning of the book that she picked up at random who she was, because she didn’t have the balls anymore, and Kyle couldn’t jump in basketball because the balls he had weren’t really his. I think it’s important to remember though; your balls are on the inside, not the outside. Courage doesn’t come from others respecting and liking you; it comes from self-respect and your own mentality. What was most valuable to me What was most valuable to me was the ideas and concepts that Jenny showed throughout her book. She writes in such a mysterious and yet crystal clear way that really shows the unambiguous manner in which she both acts and feels. I think it’s of vital importance to realize that she was a woman in a man’s body, much like in Aliens, when the little creepy alien baby pops out of that guy’s chest. He was sick of being viewed as a human when he knew deep down he was an alien, so he finally showed his true face. What did he get for showing who he truly was? He got shot, in the cute little alien face, with a shotgun. That’s a harsh and seemingly metaphorical representation as to how Jenny felt going through her change. A change that was both a difficult decision to her to make, and yet the easiest one she would ever come across. Sometimes I lie awake at night and dream of pie. And what gets me the most is the fact that she doesn’t even have to pay rent! What a lucky lady. I think her real luck is proven though in that she was able to sell this book to hundreds of college students and make enough money to pay for her penis-cectamy and vagina-plasty. God bless America, am I right? Anyway, I think that Jenny is very brave and this is extremely valuable to me because I need a good role model in my life. Lucky for me I no longer need to look for either a male OR female role model, because I seem to have found both. I just wonder if she’s hot or not, I sure hope she is because that would make class so much more interesting. But even if she was and I was able to get with her, I’d still be like; “Eh… I don’t know. She was a guy… so she’s really a guy? Does that make me gay? Naa, she’s a girl…” But I know deep down I’d always remember that she was a dude at one point and I’d probably not be able to go through with it. It’d make a cool story though. I guess what it all really comes down to is your own mental abilities and bravery. If you have physical balls or not is irrelevant to the balls you have in your heart, because those are the ones that really matter most. As Jenny would say: Bottoms up, Bitch! I think this is really the best way to see life, really the only way to see life. Screw what others think, do what makes YOU happy, because when it comes down to it, and you lay your head down on the pillow at night, you have to be able to smile knowing that you are you, and nobody else. Now THAT’S hardcore.[/quote]
''I think it’s important to remember though; your balls are on the inside, not the outside.'' [editline]24th May 2011[/editline] 50/50
I love when things work out this way [editline]24th May 2011[/editline] [quote]Sometimes I lie awake at night and dream of pie[/quote]
There was some huge datebase of papers that we could submit our papers to, to make sure nobody plagiarizes our work, and to cross check our work to make sure we ourselves weren't plagiarizing. Needless to say you all shouldn't copy my work.
I don't get it, were you like reviewing a book and the author of the book changed sexes and you wrote a paper in which you said you knew you were going to get 50 and you like referenced 1 game 1 show and 1 movie and you got like 50? And were these read aloud to the author? wtf i growe dick
[quote]If you have physical balls or not is irrelevant to the balls you have in your heart, because those are the ones that really matter most.[/quote] Deep
[QUOTE=Stathis;30027541]I don't get it, were you like reviewing a book and the author of the book changed sexes and you wrote a paper in which you said you knew you were going to get 50 and you like referenced 1 game 1 show and 1 movie and you got like 50? And were these read aloud to the author? wtf i growe dick[/QUOTE] A 50 out of a possible 50. Yes. And I did. And it was not read aloud to the author, although that would have made my day.
That was fun to read, nice OP!
This made my week
Reminds me of every single presentation for class ever that I do. If I get up and talk to the class, it is 80% bullshit and 20% saying things the teacher would like.
That's not worth 50/50 you bullshitter.
[QUOTE=Bitz62x;30160274]That's not worth 50/50 you bullshitter.[/QUOTE] I should have tried for extra credit, you're right.
Oh god, modern literature at it's finest. 51/50. Most people don't realize this but back then (Shakespeare's time) most popular literature was considered very sexual and explicit, much like todays. It's just language has evolved and we can more accurately describe more... Uhh... 'Detailed' depictions of sexual orientation (or sexual anything, really).
[QUOTE=ForgottenKane;30170196]Oh god, modern literature at it's finest. 51/50. Most people don't realize this but back then (Shakespeare's time) most popular literature was considered very sexual and explicit, much like todays. It's just language has evolved and we can more accurately describe more... Uhh... 'Detailed' depictions of sexual orientation (or sexual anything, really).[/QUOTE] Shakespeare was also an insult master. You puppy-headed monster!
[QUOTE=Meader;30187661]Shakespeare was also an insult master. You puppy-headed monster![/QUOTE] nice way to bump your thread [editline]3rd June 2011[/editline] bumpe
[IMG]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=144274&dateline=1270081737[/IMG] I'm sorry what were you saying
boobsssssssssss
Meader actually wrote a joke paper last year with another teacher who never reads the reports and he did it about Dilbert when we were supposed to be discussing The Koran or something similar. The only problem was that just this one time the teacher decided to read our papers and provide critique.
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