Did this work out? Or ... (Experimental song entitled: Life)

[King of Limbs]

This song is about life. The whole point is nothing is perfect except the moments that were just ordinary to start.
The end of this song is death, the beginning is being born. What lies in the middle is what makes it life.

his a song experiment in it's latest stages that I have been working on for awhile now. This will be the first part.
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If you dont want you experience ruined, please stop reading and just listen,
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The song is a metaphor for life and all that its about.
The ups and the downs I tried to represent hear, from the moment of birth, to the last faded breath.
This song encompasses the life of a human being. I intended it to be applied to as many people as
possible. There are 3 instruments. The piano is the narrator, the east asian flute is the wisdom of
their parents, and the violin is his final developed mind set of the narrator which then takes control
as the lead instrument until the end, which is death. As the song begins with the piano abruptly
entering in, the person is born. Then from there, the years continue through to the early adult years
and then you first hear the violon. The rest is a story in a sense, the whole thing is, but the point
is is that Its broad enough to remind you of your own life. Thats the experiment in a sense, but
also the reality of what this song represents. NOTE: Would probably be best to be not in your
right head when listening to this, it will help.
Hope someone enjoys it.
Russell Passano

[media]http://soundcloud.com/russell-passano/life[/media]

thoughts?

[Larry_G]

Don't go overboard with all the metaphors there dude. The song was okay, it got a bit messy and offbeat at times with all the reverb/release on the piano and sometimes your uhh, asian flute of wisdom felt out of place as well. 5:15 is where it went to shit for me though. It feels as though you're trying too hard to make a complex classical composition or something. The crescendos don't really come out all that great and your sense of rhythm feels off, to me at least. I can understand you're trying to put some emotion in there but to my ears it doesn't really work out that well, especially when other instruments come in, it sounds off. You seem to be going out of key all the time as well, unless that was intentional. I understand you're trying to tell a story here but it feels as though it's lacking something. It just feels a little too random. There's not really a main theme or melody, it just sounds like one big ass improv. Production-wise it's not bad at all really, the strings sound a little cheap but not really a problem. As mentioned earlier, easy on the reverb at times.

[editline]7th August 2012[/editline]

Maybe I'm being too rude here, since this kind of music is not really my thing, but I do believe I've made a point. It lacks structure, even with all the clarification in the OP.

[Croix]

That piano is really muddy, try cutting some stuff from around 200hz I think. Also I understand that you really like dynamic range from the fact that you use velocity variations so much, but you should probably use a subtle compressor here or automate the volume or make the velocity fluctuations just a tad less wild. Having to adjust my volume all the time is pretty annoying.

[kraed]

Experimental indeed...quite a scene if you do picture it. It can be interpreted in so many ways, i considered it more about abstract thought, struggle and inner self. Reminds me of the subconsciousness rather than our path during life since the elements of the song are dissonant and flow with a very peculiar sense...abstractly and reflectively...