FAT PEOPLE and why they are COOL. - General

[img]http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/9117/fatass.png[/img] [b]FAT PEOPLE[/b] are cool people because they aren't afraid of anything -- they have nothing to lose! They [i]could attempt to lose weight[/i] but [b]WE ALL KNOW THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE[/b] Let's face it! Fat people are worthless to society because they're fat, and we all know that fat people are fat for a reason and that reason is because they are mentally unstable. You see, they are defective within the womb. Their mothers persuade them with whoppers and candy and out comes an eighty pound baby! Wow, already a fatass and not even a contributing member to society yet! Let's not forget that their parents don't know how to save money and end up buying fast food every day for every meal and in the end their children become so unfathomably obese that nobody in the real world would appreciate them. So what happens to these fatass children? They get made fun of in middle school no matter how sociable they are. What do they do? They become contributing members to the Internet and hang out in Yahoo chat rooms and make fun of everybody else (hipsters) and feel better about themselves while puffing on a pack of marlboros, tossing the ashes on the floor and pigging out on porkchops. Talk about badassery -- or should I say [b]fatassery[/b]? [img]http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/9717/newborn.jpg[/img] Fat people are courageous. One time I talked to a fat person at work. She was waiting patiently for me to release New Moon on DVD so she can take it home and massage her love handles to Jacob's masculine werewolf bod. Instead, she comes back the next day and openly flirts with me and then gives me her number. You know what I did? I gagged and then vomited all over her face and then I pushed her down. She couldn't get back up. She had to roll around in the aisles and little kids thought she was a beach ball and started kicking her. I joined in because that's what men do. You see, that's the thing about fat people -- they're bold because they've got nothing to lose! Everything they had to gain was by losing some weight but because their parents raised them to be fat; they lose mental stability because they got picked on in grade school and become sociopaths that work at Verizon stores and at fast food restaurants. Where else could they get a job? As an employer, I wouldn't want to hire a fatass. They're fat! It obviously means that they lead a shitty lifestyle. Why would I want shitty person as an employee? [img]http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/5209/fatpersoneating.jpg[/img] I especially love fat collegiates. Fat people trying to get an education are hilarious, especially because they don't know anything and you end up having to tutor them and in the end, all they they attempt to do instead of get a passing grade is flirt with you! [b]revolting.[/b] [b]BUT 69105, WHERE DO I FIND FAT PEOPLE?[/b] Just look around you! Fat people are everywhere; in fact, in a one-out-of-five ratio, you're probably fat, too! Gross. If not, you're thin and beautiful like me who can stand to do some pushups every now and again (or get ripped with your BOFLEX) In summary, I think fat people should be euthanized and/or be given awards for their awful stench because we all know fat people can't reach around to put deodorant on their armpits and they sweat [b]EVERYWHERE[/b].

Kinda boring.

You can call them useless eaters.

I feel bad about laughing...

Gotta love fat people. [sp]P.S I laughed[/sp]

Fatties support the economy.

[QUOTE=69105;21190796] [IMG]http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/9717/newborn.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE] Oh god that woman is touchin that kid's tits! :monocle:

From a technical standpoint slim people are cooler than fat people because body fat is an insulator

[QUOTE=Combine 177;21190909]Oh god that woman is touchin that kid's tits! :monocle:[/QUOTE] don't worry. My next journal article for my 600 page book (so I can earn my Doctorates) will be about incest. Keep it in the family, folks!

I knew this was going to be a great read when I saw the logo at the top.

[QUOTE=69105;21190796] Fat people are courageous. One time I talked to a fat person at work. She was waiting patiently for me to release New Moon on DVD so she take it home and massage her love handles to Jacob's masculine werewolf bod. Instead she comes back the next day and openly flirts with me and then gives me her number. You know what I did? [B]I gagged and then vomited all over her face and then I pushed her down. She couldn't get back up. She had to roll around in the aisles and little kids thought she was a beach ball and started kicking her. I joined in because that's what men do.[/B] [/QUOTE] I lol'd so hard at these parts :v:

[QUOTE=ubertaco;21190970]I lol'd so hard at these parts :v:[/QUOTE] It's a true story. Her name is Lacey.

[QUOTE=Kai-ryuu;21190922]From a technical standpoint slim people are cooler than fat people because body fat is an insulator[/QUOTE] I rode a car with three fat people once. Besides having a lower gas mileage, they liked keeping that car at a nice 63 degrees :(

Fat people aren't cool. They're generally hot because their fat doesn't let them cool off.

[QUOTE=Alvaldi;21191001]I rode a car with three fat people once. Besides having a lower gas mileage, they liked keeping that car at a nice 63 degrees :([/QUOTE] Mythbusters did a skit based on if your car gets lower mileage due to obesity. A car that got 21 MPG ended up getting .2 MPG when a 300lbs woman was the driver. Then again she didn't get very far because she started texting and drove in to a semi. That's besides the point!

I think fat people should be castrated so we don't get any more fat people.

[QUOTE=69105;21191025]Mythbusters did a skit based on if your car gets lower mileage due to obesity. A car that got 21 MPG ended up getting .2 MPG when a 300lbs woman was the driver. Then again she didn't get very far because she started texting and drove in to a semi. That's besides the point![/QUOTE] Well there was easily like 900 pounds not counting me.

Fat people should try harder at being less fat, that said I am feeling quite festively plump after easter

lol fat americans:dance:

[QUOTE=Sarah Palin;21191308]lol fat americans:dance:[/QUOTE] You sure have my vote Palin!

But remember, fat people are jolly. Unless they're mean pricks. :saddowns:

[QUOTE=Sarah Palin;21191308]lol fat americans:dance:[/QUOTE] Go eat your pork rinds elsewhere, Palin. Your kind isn't welcome in this liberal thread.

snp

Fat people is fat.

[QUOTE=TMlord95;21191419]This Just In! [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/x28b29.jpg[/IMG] Edit: It's a dude.[/QUOTE] sup oink??? THIS IS EVIL.

I'm cool? :shobon:

I think it says OIFY.

[QUOTE=69105;21190796] [img]http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/5209/fatpersoneating.jpg[/img] [/QUOTE] Is this a man or a woman? I too laughed.

Staying up late, made me lose weight P.S. I laughed too

Not.