• Wanker Banished from All Libraries on Face of Planet
    38 replies, posted
[quote]Racine - A 20-year-old Racine man who's accused of engaging in lewd behavior in a library has been banned from "all the libraries on the face of the earth." [/quote] Source: [url]http://www.jsonline.com/news/iraq/racine-man-banned-from-all-libraries-on-the-face-of-the-earth-7095udb-198423761.html[/url]
And who is going to enforce this?
I guess he was a hard learner
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] The church :v:
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] [I]The books.[/I]
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] The next guy who finds a man wanking openly in a library I suppose
He should have just booked it out of there when he got an uncontrollable boner.
So he can still use underground/flying libraries?
On the face of Planet you say? How will he get to Alpha Centauri to begin with?
i heard wanking in public places is a thing
I guess they really [I]threw the book at him[/I]
You are not supposed to masturbate in libraries. They don't allow that.
Well, there sure is a lot of paper to wipe your dick on in there when you're done.
He should of been more quiet.
Just wait for the wankfest that ensures when we open the first library on the moon colony
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] I see that you're not familiar with the ULD ([B]U[/B]niversal [B]L[/B]ibrary [B]D[/B]omain). The ULD is a centralized system manufactured for all the libraries of the world. The system allows [B]all[/B] libraries to share information with each other. So, if this guy got the ban in Iraq, the library who issued the ban will just simply write down his information and mark him as [B]Banned from all libraries in the world[/B]. Now, if the guy goes to a library in Germany and tries to rent a book, the library worker will see that the man is banned from [B]All libraries around the world[/B] and will simply explain the situation and tell him to leave. Amazing system.
[QUOTE=Hullu V3;39956204]Now, if the guy goes to a library in Germany and tries to rent a book, the library worker will see that the man is banned from [B]All libraries around the world[/B] and will simply explain the situation and tell him to leave.[/QUOTE] Or if he more realistically just goes to a library in Germany to masturbate, they'll probably look him up and see he's in the database and ask him to leave.
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] [quote]His signature bond was set at $1,000. Court records say as a condition of his bond, he was told to "stay out of all the libraries on the face of the earth."[/quote] It's a condition of his bond (bail). If anybody catches him in any library, they won't return the $1000 he had to pay to be released until his trial.
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] The secret police and Inquisition
[QUOTE=ace13;39956011]On the face of Planet you say? How will he get to Alpha Centauri to begin with?[/QUOTE] *Pop*
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;39955378]And who is going to enforce this?[/QUOTE] If no one's gonna then I will.
[QUOTE=Hullu V3;39956204]I see that you're not familiar with the ULD ([B]U[/B]niversal [B]L[/B]ibrary [B]D[/B]omain). The ULD is a centralized system manufactured for all the libraries of the world. The system allows [B]all[/B] libraries to share information with each other. So, if this guy got the ban in Iraq, the library who issued the ban will just simply write down his information and mark him as [B]Banned from all libraries in the world[/B]. Now, if the guy goes to a library in Germany and tries to rent a book, the library worker will see that the man is banned from [B]All libraries around the world[/B] and will simply explain the situation and tell him to leave. Amazing system.[/QUOTE] Plus the Council of Librarians has spies everywhere, so they'll know if he's attempting to use a kindle
[QUOTE=Zeke129;39957419]Plus the Council of Librarians has spies everywhere, so they'll know if he's attempting to use a kindle[/QUOTE] Hiding in a cafe somewhere... sneaking a quick read... when a dagger plunges through the heart of his kindle. While still in shock, his head cries out in pain and the world flashes white before melting to darkness. He awakens in a cold, damp room... chained to the wall and alone. "From a quick wank to a slow death... what a way to go"
Why would you masturbate in a library? There's way too many chances of getting papercuts on your genitals.
I masterbated at a Catholic church before
Why is this news report under Iraq War?
[QUOTE=Rika-chan;39957670]I masterbated at a Catholic church before[/QUOTE] So when did you get priesthood
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;39956044]You are not supposed to masturbate in libraries. They don't allow that.[/QUOTE] I'll keep that in mind next time.
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GOD FUCKING DAMNIT NOT AGAIN. [editline]18th March 2013[/editline] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1254192&p=39934778&viewfull=1#post39934778"]WHY DON'T I EVER LEARN?![/URL]
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