Man is about to enjoy a box of crackers and discovers they're mostly eaten
39 replies, posted
[quote]
[B]GREENDALE [/B]A box of Better Cheddar snacks was devoured almost in its entirety, Tuesday, with the nearly empty box placed back on the shelf.
Greendale resident Vince Vitrano discovered the box while hoping to enjoy some of the cheesy, crunchy goodies for himself. "I open the box, which I thought was barely touched," Vitrano explained. "There's like, nothing in there. Nothing!"
In fact, an inspection of the box revealed 5 complete Better Cheddar crackers, several partial crackers, and some residual crumbs.
"I mean, somebody enjoyed it, that's cool," Vitrano continued. "But if you're going to eat [B][I]almost[/I][/B] the whole box, why not just [I][B]eat the whole box[/B].[/I] And don't tease me by putting back a few busted crackers and some crumbs! Just finish it already!"
Vitrano did not want to discuss possible suspects in the eating incident. A check of house records reveals Vitrano's younger sister, Emily, had been there earlier in the day to babysit the children of the house.
Emily Vitrano could not be reached for comment.[/quote][URL]http://www.todaystmj4.com/blogs/vincevitrano/124499219.html[/URL]
holy fuck this is AWFUL
[IMG]http://media.journalinteractive.com/images/121518654_emilycrackers%281%29.JPG[/IMG]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("This is not news. Do not post things which are not news in the news section." - JohnnyMo1))[/highlight]
oh god
Why is this even news???
If he was in a grocery store and this happened, maybe I could see this being a problem, but at his house?:bahgawd:
Not thread-worthy.
Is this seriously on the news?
This is some hard-hitting journalism. Excellent stuff, just excellent. Fox could learn a thing or two.
[QUOTE=valkery;30687533]Why is this even news???
If he was in a grocery store and this happened, maybe I could see this being a problem, but at his house?:bahgawd:[/QUOTE]
intense family drama
backstabbing words
heartbreaking fights
all this and more next time on "days of our lives"
Woman is about to enjoy fulfilling shit and discovers that the toilet seat has been left up
This isn't the Onion?
news
jesus christ how horrifying.
Oh god, how could such an atrocity occur in Greendale!?
Guess he's crackerlacking
[QUOTE=elitehakor v2;30687884]Guess he's crackerlacking[/QUOTE]
This is not a pun
I appreciate this thread.
[quote]"And don't tease me by putting back a few busted crackers and some crumbs! Just finish it already!"[/quote]
Those [i]bastards[/i]
Get the criminal scum who did this off the streets.
Fucking sickening man. Can't fucking believe this happens in today's society.
I bet it was a muslim, a jew or a gay person.
Guys, this story about a person called Vince Vitrano, and this story is published by the same person.
People actually do this kind of stuff? I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
[QUOTE=Metanar;30688113]Guys, this story about a person called Vince Vitrano, and this story is published by the same person.[/QUOTE]
so clearly this article is BIASED
He must've cracked.
Oh god everyday normal occurance because some schmuck didn't see that the damn box was open.
I guess the reporter [i]cracked[/i] under pressure to submit [i]something[/i].
Reminds me of how I bought a bag of Doritos once and it only had three chips in it.
Oh fuck! We may need the FBI to handle this!
Instantly reminded me of:
[img]http://blastr.com/assets_c/2009/03/Wallace_Gromit-thumb-300x334-14842.jpg[/img]
Oh god the Humanity quick send the FBI A.s.a.p!
[QUOTE=Evil Flames v2;30687561]Is this seriously on the news?[/QUOTE]
This seriously is the news. Seriously.
[editline]24th June 2011[/editline]
It is.
[QUOTE=J!NX;30688962]This seriously is the news. Seriously.
[editline]24th June 2011[/editline]
It is.[/QUOTE]
Beats murders, the government, and ryan dunn.
wait never mind, faze is posting every gdamned article about him
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