Zimbabwe: Man Collapses After Ordering Prostitute, Only To Be Met By His Daughter - Polidicks

[quote] [IMG]http://i.huffpost.com/gen/421113/thumbs/r-PROSTITUTE-large570.jpg[/IMG] A man who ordered a prostitute to his hotel room collapsed when his daughter turned up at the door. Titus Ncube from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, said the shock of seeing his 20-year-old daughter sent him to the ground. The unnamed woman reportedly fled the building. According to the Zimbabwe News, Ncube ordered the prostitute as he was experiencing marital problems. “I am sorry for what I did,” he said. “I spoke to my wife and my daughter… I apologised for my actions because I just wanted my family back." Ncube said his daughter was no longer working as a prostitute and was planning to return to school. "My marital problems are not over, but we have a marriage counsellor who is helping us to get over this most difficult period in our marriage," he added. On hearing the news, his wife said: “If it were not for my children, I could have divorced him a long time ago.”[/quote] Source: [url]http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2011/11/30/zimbabwe-man-collapses-after-ordering-prostitute_n_1120149.html[/url]

ooops

[b]win[/b]cest.

Open the floor, get on the floor?

Did he get a refund?

oh god

[qUote]I apologised for my actions because I just wanted my family back.[/qUote] So you ordered a prostitute just to bring your family back?

My sides. That just made my day!

Heard about this before, only the guy was on a business trip and instead of collapsing, he suffered a minor heart attack.

He should've banged her anyway.

i'd bang her anyway

Well that's a terrible situation for a family to be in. The dad's a cheating dick, the love's left the marriage, and now they find out their daughter has been a prostitue for an unkown amount of time.

[QUOTE=Cone;33860179]Well that's a terrible situation for a family to be in. The dad's a cheating dick, the love's left the marriage, and now they find out their daughter has been a prostitue for an unkown amount of time.[/QUOTE] I bet the dog set them up...

Retarded title

This is like celebrity news but for everyday people. Can't wait for a story on a guy in Finland cooking his dinner only to realize he forgot a key ingredient. "I'll make sure I double-check before heating it up from now on," he says, "I've talked to my grocer and we've established where the potatoes are."

[QUOTE=Andokool12;33860237]This is like celebrity news but for everyday people. Can't wait for a story on a guy in Finland cooking his dinner only to realize he forgot a key ingredient. "I'll make sure I double-check before heating it up from now on," he says, "I've talked to my grocer and we've established where the potatoes are."[/QUOTE] Yeah man I find out my daughter is a prostitute every day

Would have been funnier if it was just coincidence that his daughter turned up at the door.

[QUOTE=Andokool12;33860237]This is like celebrity news but for everyday people. Can't wait for a story on a guy in Finland cooking his dinner only to realize he forgot a key ingredient. "I'll make sure I double-check before heating it up from now on," he says, "I've talked to my grocer and we've established where the potatoes are."[/QUOTE] ... I'm supposed to be cooking tonight...

He should have asked for a family discount.

"Daddy?" ... "PATRICIA?" *Dad falls* ... oh shit I'm outta here. Really though, that's kind of a funny way to figure out that your daughter is a whore.

[QUOTE=OzJackal;33869960]Who apologizes, though? The daughter or the father?[/QUOTE] Since neither of them feels that guilty, therefore neither would apologize. Its going to be an awkward family meeting next time.

That's quite a shocker.

[QUOTE=Andokool12;33860237]This is like celebrity news but for everyday people. Can't wait for a story on a guy in Finland cooking his dinner only to realize he forgot a key ingredient. "I'll make sure I double-check before heating it up from now on," he says, "I've talked to my grocer and we've established where the potatoes are."[/QUOTE] 50% of articles in The Onion