[url]http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-26/pobjie-exclusive-episode-one-of-the-x-files-reboot/6348890[/url]
[QUOTE]MULDER: According to this weblog, or "blog", the secret one-world government is murdering children with vaccinations.
SCULLY: Don't be nuts in the guts, Mulder, vaccinations are a myth.
MULDER: That's what I've always thought, but what if ... they're not?
SCULLY: I never thought of it that way. Let's go.
CUT TO a hospital storage room. Mulder is rummaging madly through a box.
MULDER: Needles! So many needles! The story was true! United Nations eugenicists are injecting innocent children with fluoride!
SCULLY: You're as mad as a fretless banjo, Mulder! Fluoride is extinct!
MULDER: (waving a needle in her face) Dammit Scully, it's all here in black and white! The paleo cookbooks were RIGHT!
SCULLY: But why?
MULDER: Do I have to draw you a diagram, Scully?
SCULLY: That would help, yes.
Mulder draws a diagram. Scully gasps.
SCULLY: So it's true ... jet fuel CAN'T melt steel beams!
MULDER: Exactly. There's no time to lose.
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: There's less time than you think.
SCULLY: How long have you been there?
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Hours. I'm stuck.
MULDER: Why are you here?
CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: To warn you ... stay away from the Halal Certification Board.[/QUOTE]
The rest is just as stupid. But imagine if this was literally what they did. Just go for so bad it's good.
"Ben Pobjie is a writer, comedian and poet with no journalistic qualifications whatsoever."
Didn't cigarette man get shot
[QUOTE=Zeke129;47397848]Didn't cigarette man get shot[/QUOTE]
Don't be stripeless zebra zonkers, Zeke, cigarette man is a myth!
[QUOTE=Zeke129;47397848]Didn't cigarette man get shot[/QUOTE]
He was blown the fuck up.
[QUOTE=nerdster409;47399200]He was blown the fuck up.[/QUOTE]
The whole finalé religion-alien overtoned ending ruined the whole thing for me.
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