What’s love got to do with it? - Interesting account of a friends sexuality - General

A friend of mine, Fraser Milroy wrote this and I thought it would be quite interesting to share this with you. Can't really describe it myself, just thought you'd like to read. [quote]Recently some people might have seen a program on the BBC called “The Worlds Most Dangerous Place To Be Gay”. It was about Scott Mills going to Uganda, a country where it is still illegal to be gay. More recently there has been an announcement that the Ugandan government are considering making it an offence punishable by death. As most people probably know I am gay, and watching this program and reading about this proposal has made me feel really upset and angry… which has thus inspired me to write this. In this country it is accepted that people have the right to be gay/bi/lesbian, and that right is protected by law. On top of that I grew up with a family who I always knew would love me no matter what and have friends who I always knew would accept me for who I am… yet in spite of this, coming out to people has to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The deep gut wrenching fear that people I love might turn to me and hate me for something which I have no control over, whilst in my case entirely unlikely, was one I just couldn’t get over. Needless to say I still did it as thousands of other people do in this country every year. You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this… well it’s kinda for three reasons. Firstly it’s because I know that there are people in my life who want to know more about me being gay but find it difficult to ask me and I want them to know that it’s not something I’m ashamed of. Secondly because I think that there will be people out there who are trying to come to terms with their own sexuality who I hope can find some words of comfort or advice in what I have to say. And thirdly because I think people need to know more about what is happening in Uganda. I am an atheist, I am just putting that out there now so that you know… I’m not going to pull any punches. I do have many issues with religion but over all I am NOT out to try and end religion and convert people to atheism. However In Uganda one of the main reasons for the overwhelming feeling of homophobia is Christianity. I believe that the church should not be involved in government, but again that’s just my personal opinion. I am aware that there will be Christians reading this who are not homophobic and probably believe themselves to be in a majority and I hope they are right. One of the first adults I ever came out to was a man who I greatly respected and trusted, he was a Christian. At the time I was quite young (around 14 or 15 I think) and I had finally built up the courage to talk to someone about how I was feeling. This man was someone I felt safe about talking to so I went to him seeking his advice on the matter. So I told him and I explained how I was feeling and how upset I was about the whole thing and he turned to me and told me that homosexuality was wrong and that I had to change. THIS HAPPENED. I was completely shocked and taken aback but at that time I took his word for it and decided I had to change. I spent over two years attempting to change myself, almost hating who I was because of what this man told me. In retrospect he very irresponsible and indeed wrong. Please, if you are reading this, if someone ever trusts you enough to confide in you about anything like this. Treat them with love and care and just support them. You don’t need to become their personal councillor just DON’T make them hate themselves. That man is a Christian and he still thinks this way and he is a prime example of bullshit anti-gay Christian propaganda at work. In Uganda it is taught that homosexuality, in particular male homosexuality, is a sin and is morally unacceptable. They are taught to believe that being gay is a choice. THIS is one of the most damaging things that people can be taught to believe about gay people. I can only speak from my own experience, but being gay is NOT a choice. Finding people attractive is not a choice. Asking when I decided to become gay is like me asking you when you decided to become straight. It’s a question that you probably find ridiculous. If being gay was a choice do you think that there would be people in Uganda, especially under the current threatening climate, who would actively choose to become discriminated? Who in their right mind would pick a lifestyle that was condemned and made you hated by everyone, even your own family? You would have to be some dedicated, sadistic lunatic. Now for a second assume being gay WAS a choice. Does this give anyone the right to threaten gay people with death or even just hatred? A relationship between two consenting people is, in my opinion, the business of those two people and no one else. If it was being forced upon people that would be RAPE which is illegal anyway. If it was focused upon children then that would be PEADOPHILLIA which is also illegal. I fail to see how anyone can claim any right to pass judgement on what two people do privately for pleasure or love providing no one is getting hurt or abused. And that’s just the point right there, it’s about love at the end of the day. I know that there is plenty of purely sexual encounters going on in the gay community but c’mon it’s not like that’s much different in the heterosexual community. When it comes down to it, what most people are looking for is a partner who they can love and share their life with. It shouldn’t matter what gender anyone is if all they want is someone to love… surely? Before I finish I feel I can’t avoid the prospect of same sex couples adopting… well I have no issues with this. What with the number of single parent families out there that seem to survive just fine I can’t see why a child being adopted into a family where two people want to love and care for it can be a bad thing irrespective of gender. Some people will argue that it’s not natural and I’ll accept that providing they don’t use any medication or wear polyester. It is interesting to note that it’s a fact that gay parents are NOT more likely to raise gay children but they are more likely to raise tolerant ones. I know why I started writing this, it wasn’t to lecture people or for me to ram my sexuality down your throat (giggidy) but it was just me trying to make an effort to make other people understand that there are people out there (all over the planet) who live in fear of being hated or judged or made to feel bad about who they are which I think is just wrong… there are so many much better reasons to hate people. Fraser[/quote]

"There are so many much better reasons to hate people". And there I go thinking this guy was writing about tolerance..

Lick da poo poo is wrong.

[Quote=Fraser] I do have many issues with religion [/Quote] So basically what he's saying is it's OK to have problems with religion but not sexuality?

I sorta approve this whole thing, but it's not really anything new. There are some errors and I don't completely understand what he exactly meant at times. It's still nice of him to take his time and write this down.

one of the first replied to it where he posted it was [quote]i agree with everything you've said bar the last line, there is no justified reason for hating another human being unless the are responsible for the death of another being. people hating each other about things so insignificant in the big picture is why the world is so fucked up [/quote]

[QUOTE=David Cameron;29795846]So basically what he's saying is it's OK to have problems with religion but not sexuality?[/QUOTE] OP is a worse person than the people he's complaining about. (Who are cool)

[QUOTE=David Cameron;29795846]So basically what he's saying is it's OK to have problems with religion but not sexuality?[/QUOTE] yes since religion is a choice isn't it. [editline]13th May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Nick Clegg;29795884]OP is a worse person than the people he's complaining about. (Who are cool)[/QUOTE] shut it cleggo, how do i know you're telling the truth

I don't think the writer clearly understands what the problem is. It's not de gays. Its EATIN DA POO POO [url]http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81003023/[/url]

[QUOTE=cueballv2themax;29795886]yes since religion is a choice isn't it.[/QUOTE] Religion is as much as choice as homosexuality. Think of that what you may.

[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29795897]Religion is as much as choice as homosexuality. Think of that what you may.[/QUOTE] People don't choose to be gay.

[QUOTE=cueballv2themax;29795903]People don't choose to be gay.[/QUOTE] And what says people choose their religion? And what says they don't choose?

[QUOTE=Mr Slashy;29795839]"There are so many much better reasons to hate people". And there I go thinking this guy was writing about tolerance..[/QUOTE] Oh yes because he is gay he must instantly tolerate people [editline]13th May 2011[/editline] for instance: I hate rapists because they rape people Well fuck me for being intolerant right.

[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29795897]Religion is as much as choice as homosexuality. Think of that what you may.[/QUOTE] I don't even know what to say to this I mean, I don't agree with what he's saying about religion. But saying somebodies sexuality is as much a choice as religion is dumb, in MOST cases anyway.

[QUOTE=Motherfucker;29795921]for instance: I hate rapists because they rape people Well fuck me for being intolerant right.[/QUOTE] Hating people for their religion is similar to hating people for their sexuality.

So you get up in the morning and the first thing you think is BOY DON'T I HATE RAPISTS!!11!

People who think that you choose to be gay didn't choose to be completely retarded.

[QUOTE=Mingebox;29796104]People who think that you choose to be gay didn't choose to be completely retarded.[/QUOTE] Gee fuckin whizz, you really know how to campaign for gay rights don't you.

[QUOTE=cueballv2themax;29795903]People don't choose to be gay.[/QUOTE] The point is that people don't choose their religion in the majority of cases either.

[QUOTE=Treybuchet;29796218]The point is that people don't choose their religion in the majority of cases either.[/QUOTE] Hooray for being a minority

I hate people who don't respect other peoples choices, if you don't respect them, I don't respect you, simple as that for me.

oh god a thread about religion AND sexuality? ABANDON THREAD

[QUOTE=Nick Clegg;29795943]Hating people for their religion is similar to hating people for their sexuality.[/QUOTE] Just because you hate religion, doesn't mean you hate religious people.

[QUOTE=Treybuchet;29796218]The point is that people don't choose their religion in the majority of cases either.[/QUOTE] Maybe that's because they are forced to believe it.

[QUOTE=doomshot;29796328]Maybe that's because they are forced to believe it.[/QUOTE] Or they believe in it and didn't get forced into it or choose it? Much like you claim homosexuals don't choose their sexuality.

Fraser sounds like he's just preaching to the choir.

[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29796343]Or they believe in it and didn't get forced into it or choose it? Much like you claim homosexuals don't choose their sexuality.[/QUOTE] Do you choose to be straight? Did you choose to think that one girl is attractive? Don't think so. Boy it sure is great how people know how to walk a day in someone else's shoes.

[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29796343]Or they believe in it and didn't get forced into it or choose it? Much like you claim homosexuals don't choose their sexuality.[/QUOTE] I honestly can't think of any situations where someone just started believing in a certain religion without some outside influence.