Weird Man Begins Every Morning by Dousing his Naked Body In Water
16 replies, posted
[URL]http://www.theonion.com/articles/weird-man-begins-every-morning-by-dousing-his-nake,34304/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Status%3A2%3ADefault[/URL]
[QUOTE]In what sources confirmed Tuesday was an absolutely bizarre and puzzling routine, area eccentric Robert Szypko reportedly spends each morning stripping entirely naked, stepping into a porcelain tub, and then dousing his body in warm water for up to 10 minutes straight. After inexplicably drenching his nude form in gallons of water, the New York–area oddball then reportedly smears chemicals of various colors and consistencies all over his genitals, underarms, and hair in a progressively more mystifying display that culminates with himself covered in a thick layer of white foam...[/QUOTE]
Picture of the man in question performing this strange ritual:
[IMG]http://o.onionstatic.com/images/23/23962/original/700.jpg?3505[/IMG]
Hmm, had no idea The Onion was allowed here.
this just in: the man has reportedly been spotted in the park, walking what appears to be a miniature cow with shaggy fur. When interviewed, he told us the beast was called a "canine".
[QUOTE=Water-Marine;42615672]Hmm, had no idea The Onion was allowed here.[/QUOTE]
It's not.
Wow, some people do the weirdest shit.
[QUOTE=Forumaster;42615697]It's not.[/QUOTE]
In that case I apologize, I didn't see it anywhere in the rules so I thought it was okay.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Take the time out to sharpen your reading comprehension" - Starpluck))[/highlight]
yeah, who does this stuff in the morning? it's all about doing it at night!
[editline]23rd October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Smug Bastard;42615712]In that case I apologize, I didn't see it anywhere in the rules so I thought it was okay.[/QUOTE]
The Onion is satire, so yeah, it's in the rules.
you can forgive some people for stuff like this due to cultural differences but this is just weird
What the Christ this is so disgusting.
Someone ban this sick filth.
wtf doesnt water have diseases that cause cancer and mindcontrol?
could have atleast tagged this as NSFW
srs
But water makes you bend to the government's will
Wow this happened in the US? I expected Saudi Arabia!
[QUOTE=Moustacheman;42615732]What the Christ this is so disgusting.
Someone ban this sick filth.[/QUOTE]
He's not filthy after that.
the onion is not funny
[editline]e[/editline]
although that's just my opinion, i feel like i don't "get" the humor
the "mundane things are now news!" joke was funny once and then never again
[QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;42615871]He's not filthy after that.[/QUOTE]
But water is used by the Rothchilds to mind control us into watching TV.
[QUOTE=Smug Bastard;42615712]In that case I apologize, I didn't see it anywhere in the rules so I thought it was okay.[/QUOTE]
Its right there
[quote]- Don't post satire, if you happen to make the colossal fuckup of doing so unknowingly you will still be banned for being so goddamn stupid.
[/quote]
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