My missing ex-long-distance-love-interest of sorts. - General

(I know, bad thread title, but I couldn't come up with anything better without breaking the UTT rule. If a mod wants to name it something better I won't get angry. Warning, incoming angst, but I think it's somewhat warranted.) Okay, where to begin... I guess I'll start from the beginning. I met a girl when I was in fourth grade. Her name was Ashley. She was in eighth, but I knew her brother, so she decided I was worth not ignoring. We would say hi to each other in the hallway and outside, but really, that was about it. That changed in fifth grade. My autistic little brother needed a babysitter, since I wasn't old enough according to Louisiana state law, and Ashley stepped right up to the challenge. I ended up getting to know her extremely well; watched TV with her a lot, got my ass kicked at Tekken by her every now and then, and overall we became very good friends in spite of the four-year age gap. In sixth grade, I continued talking to her; it was all fine and dandy until I found out that at the end of the year I would be moving to a suburb outside of Houston, Texas. Neither of us were happy about this development. In seventh grade, I started going through hell. No one in Houston was willing to talk to the socially awkward kid, the kid with the weird mannerisms, whatever people wanted to classify me as. Fact of the matter is, by Houston standards, I was (and am) less than nothing. Sub-human. I was constantly abused, but I put up with it, because frankly I didn't have many other options. The physical abuse settled down in eighth grade, but the verbal abuse stayed and grew larger. As a bullied kid, the only person I really had to confide in was Ashley. I grew even closer to her. High school started, and in the summer before freshman year, I realized something; I was falling in love with Ashley. Now I know what you're gonna say. "HURR DURR ONLY ADULTS CAN FALL IN LOVE" I knew her for four years before this, and I think you know if you're in love with someone after that kind of time no matter how old you are. And I knew. And I confessed it. She said that she loved me too, but that she'd have to wait the four years or so until I turned eighteen. We continued talking for longer, but with a slightly romantic bent. Then came the drama bomb. She pretty much abruptly shacked up with a United States Marine, got pregnant with his kid, and married him. Because I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't try to force that relationship to end; I just accepted that he beat me to her, and I continued talking to her on Myspace. The first warning sign: her cell phone, which she ordinarily used quite a bit, was even more abruptly cancelled. She told me that any calls she got would have to go through the Marine, Lee. This made almost no sense; if money was an issue, she could have just gone on his plan instead of dumping her cell phone entirely. I started to get a little suspicious that maybe there was something going on that she wasn't telling me about. Something like domestic violence. The second warning sign: she quit getting on AIM and her Myspace visits became more and more sporadic. This was because she apparently didn't have a computer, and it was hard for her to go to the computer lab. I accepted the latter part, as Ashley was pregnant after all, but something struck me as a little funny about the former. Something like her using a laptop of her own shortly before Lee came into her life. Then, she disappeared. No proper warning. No goodbye. She just disappeared. Her myspace was deleted, she quit answering her email (my last resort in case of an emergency), and she left no contact info whatsoever. I was utterly crushed; there's really not much more that can be said about it beyond that. That was a year ago, almost exactly. I'm a sophomore in high school, age 15, now. I hate myself for what happened; I failed her, and I failed myself, by not saying anything in spite of the fact that something was clearly wrong. None of my acquaintances, not even the ones that knew her a bit through looking at her comments on my myspace, know what happened. I don't plan on telling them unless they really want a reason why I'm the emotional wreck I am now. At the moment, I hold no hope that she'll want me anymore. I've accepted that, even though it was hard. All I want now is closure. I asked 4chan for help about a month ago, and they didn't turn anything up (in spite of all but maybe one saying it was a noble pursuit and attempting to help), so maybe she really has disappeared... but all I can hope is that she's at least still alive. The social security death index not showing anyone with her full name is another good sign, but that doesn't take into account the possibility of her being murdered and the body never being found, which is the most likely scenario if she's truly disappeared. Sorry for the wall of text (and the angst), but I needed to let this out. I needed to tell someone of my plight, and I didn't feel like burdening my meatspace friends with it, as loyal as they are. tl;dr: read the post, seriously. My struggle to come up with a title just shows how hard this is for me to summarize.

Stalking is bad m'kay

[QUOTE=TurbisV2;21238899]Stalking is bad m'kay[/QUOTE] :geno: Only thing close to actual stalking I've done is trying to figure out what the fuck happened after she just randomly disappeared. Before that, I was in constant contact with her; if she had told me to quit talking to her, I would have been a bit hurt by it, but I would have complied. And that would have honestly been better. At least that's closure.

Sorry to hear about the loss I hope you find another person you like soon ):

tl;dr- Kid thinks there is only one girl in the entire universe who would ever date him.

sorry but to me it sounds like she's just gotten older and you're just too young and are over analyzing it

[QUOTE=Wonky;21238968]tl;dr- Kid thinks there is only one girl in the entire universe who would ever date him.[/QUOTE] Not quite... I actually know a couple of girls who are willing now, but I'd like to at least tie this loose end off before I pursue any of them. [QUOTE=Binsky;21238975]sorry but to me it sounds like she's just gotten older and you're just too young and are over analyzing it[/QUOTE] You might be right. I hope that's the case, actually; this is one of those few times where I'd rather my guess be wrong.

[QUOTE=WickedIcon;21238933]:geno: Only thing close to actual stalking I've done is trying to figure out what the fuck happened after she just randomly disappeared. Before that, I was in constant contact with her; if she had told me to quit talking to her, I would have been a bit hurt by it, but I would have complied. And that would have honestly been better. At least that's closure.[/QUOTE] Asking 4chan to find information about a person sounds like stalking to me

She lessens her communications with you/uses her boyfriend to screen her calls so she has an excuse not to talk to you and then cuts communication, and you suspect domestic violence? I'd say she's just tired of you and is ending it.

[QUOTE=Shugo589;21239030]She lessens her communications with you/uses her boyfriend to screen her calls so she has an excuse not to talk to you and then cuts communication, and you suspect domestic violence? I'd say she's just tired of you and is ending it.[/QUOTE] Except that's completely unlike her. She would have said something instead of just randomly fucking off to god-knows-where; she's not a very subtle person, and she wouldn't have led me on for roughly 6 months claiming that she loved me and that she was going to wait until I was 18 if that were the case.

Ask one of her relatives or something

Ouch, sad story. I'm sure she's fine though, don't give up hope, all right?

[QUOTE=dsgfgfp;21239102]Ask one of her relatives or something[/QUOTE] Only know her brothers, and to wit, they don't terribly enjoy using the internet. Don't have her home phone, so calling them isn't an option. Anyways, gonna take a shower and check back on this thread when I'm out.

Dude what I am sorry but this does not seem realistic. You are 15. She is(was) 19. Your plan was to [i]wait three more years[/i] for you to be legal, while she spends her life from age 18-22 [i]without any relationships[/i] so that the two of you could have an [i]interstate long-distance relationship[/i]. Her getting with a Marine was probably a release of her desperation for a secure and definite relationship, adding in the pregnancy. [/psychologist] I'm sorry it all happened to you, but I don't think it ever could have ever taken off in the first place.

[QUOTE=DChapsfield;21239236]Dude what I am sorry but this does not seem realistic. You are 15. She is(was) 19. Your plan was to [i]wait three more years[/i] for you to be legal, while she spends her life from age 18-22 [i]without any relationships[/i] so that the two of you could have an [i]interstate long-distance relationship[/i]. Her getting with a Marine was probably a release of her desperation for a secure and definite relationship, adding in the pregnancy. [/psychologist] I'm sorry it all happened to you, but I don't think it ever could have ever taken off in the first place.[/QUOTE] Eh, the feasibility of the relationship isn't really what matters to me anymore, I've accepted that it was probably never going to happen. I just want some closure, which was denied to me.

Well, It seems to me someone is watching too many romances. You don't think that it's possible she is ditching her clingy childhood friend who lives in a different state?

[QUOTE=Factory;21239711]Well, It seems to me someone is watching too many romances. You don't think that it's possible she is ditching her clingy childhood friend who lives in a different state?[/QUOTE] Already addressed that, she would have told me if that were the case. Just ditching people without warning isn't her thing.

My heart goes out to you and Ashley. I hope you find out what happened and that she's alright.

People do have lives, and even moreso when they enter relationships. Being in a relationship does require a life, one that isn't on facebook/myspace/texting all the time. The way I see it, you're dramatizing this a bit too much due to your feelings and thinking. She could've just had a big change in life (see; having a kid) and getting in with a marine. My advice? Get over her. It's gonna sound mean, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Realign your thinking and perspective and think through it logically what happened with her and you. You're only 15, you have your entire life ahead of you. You're not going to have one girl your entire life. Get over her. The sooner, the better. Also you're 15, I highly doubt you know what real love is.

[QUOTE=WickedIcon;21239080]Except that's completely unlike her. She would have said something instead of just randomly fucking off to god-knows-where; she's not a very subtle person, and she wouldn't have led me on for roughly 6 months claiming that she loved me and that she was going to wait until I was 18 if that were the case.[/QUOTE] She wouldn't do that, but she would lead you on for 6 months then get pregnant with some guy's baby? Okay, that's much more understandable.

Wait, I'm confused about why you think there's abuse in here at all. I re-read the story twice and still can't find anything. She's pregnant, she's in a committed relationship, she has other responsibilities now. It sounds like she's short on money, so it makes sense that she would cut out extra stuff like cell phone and internet bills. It sounds to me like she's just growing up and is more focused on important things like her baby now. If she really did have feelings for you, I understand why she cut you out of her life - it's easier to focus on your boyfriend if you're not being tempted by some underage guy you talk to online.

You'll get over it, shit heals.

[QUOTE=Wonky;21238968]tl;dr- Kid thinks there is only one girl in the entire universe who would ever date him.[/QUOTE] It feels like it sometimes :saddowns:

Hearts dude. I don't really suspect foul play, I think she just moved on. But that's kinda why I'm giving you hearts. Seems to me she might not have cared too much. Try and get in contact with one of her friends.

[QUOTE=WickedIcon;21238856]-snipped because of page stretching-[/QUOTE] My whole heart goes out to you my friend. I know how it feels, in a way... Except for me, it's one sided (me loving her) and still going on now, and without the whole Marine and going missing part. Dammit, I'm posting this everywhere... I guess I just feel real strong about it. I don't know... Listen, I gave you a heart. Hope everything turns out alright. :gbsmith:

Did he just refer to real life as meatspace?

Women almost never go for people younger than them.

OP, if I could give you a hug, I would. :frown: [editline]02:23PM[/editline] I really understand some of the things that have happened. "HURR DURR ONLY ADULTS CAN FALL IN LOVE". I'm 14, but I fell in love with a slightly older female friend of mine years ago. She's still the only person I really trust in. She knows how I feel about her, things have always been very complicated though. Love is a great thing, but it can also leave you feeling without a reason to live. Rated :h:. I hope you're able to get through this okay.

Dude, you need to like, chill the fuck out. Just, move on. I get how it seems like she totally left you without telling you, but people change over time. So you just need to move the fuck on. Here's your closure: She isn't in your life anymore.

Just move on it's not worth it. I got thrown into this situation before and I did treat her like she's the only girl for me but I'd rather just get on with life instead of wasting time looking for her.