• Really need help, parents think I've been stalked by paedophiles
    117 replies, posted
Hello everyone, I was at school yesterday and my mother went snooping around on my computer, looking through history and everything. She came across my forums, and went into the topic called "Random Story". This is parts from that thread: [quote] Mustard Semen. We must buy cheap prositutes because Seth died.[/quote] [quote]Naruto was owned by his huge dripping black cock of doom.[/quote] [quote]The one over your mother's ass fingering herself like horny gay horse who raped teens.[/quote] [quote]Meanwhile in teletubbies they made pornos out of cakes that smelt of Mustard Semen and then FireStorm started being a cuntmod and he ate Colonel's smelly dick-cheese[/quote] [quote]Arty fapped until he lost blood, then stuck his face into Colonel's eagerly awaiting crotch.[/quote] Plus some stuff about Arty giving Seth a blowjob. My mother saw all this, and then clicked on the OP's profile. It said he is 22. In reality, he is 14 but she won't believe me. She decided that I'm being stalked by a paedophile and called some "child protection" thingy that has something to do with the police. She stole my DVI cable so I couldn't use my computer, but I've managed to find an old VGA cable from somewhere :c00l: Apparently they need to get my computer to track my friend. Everyone is treating me like I'm 9 years old and I need to be protected from the internet, it's fucking annoying -.- Help. What do I do?
Get a new mother.
Run away from home.
Why you even leave your computer on, when you are at school? Oh well, you just have to try to convince her.
[QUOTE=steekdan;17812735]Why you even leave your computer on, when you are at school?[/QUOTE] I run a server. And yeah, I know I'm a total idiot for forgetting to lock it.
Murder her brutally.
Your mom's a bitch for checking history She could at least have the decency to not completely destroy your privacy
Let them do it, they'll find out that they were being stupid.
Put a password on your computer, then give your computer to these child protection people. Rage ensues
Tell her to fuck off
What kind of sick forums are you running!?
Format your computer, put a password on it, THEN deliver it :dance:
Introduce her to the Internet. by that, i mean 4Chan's /b/ section.
[QUOTE=Angua;17812847]What kind of sick forums are you running!?[/QUOTE] It's not a sick forum, someone made a Fast Thread called "Random Story" where you make a story by adding 3 words onto the previous post.
[QUOTE=Angua;17812847]What kind of sick forums are you running!?[/QUOTE] Doesn't matter. He's visiting fp, just as sick, if not sicker forum.
[img]http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/10029/original/pedobear26ul7.jpg[/img] That picture came to mind...
Dang nabbit son, from one sick forum to another eh? I'll be having words with your father
[QUOTE=Van-man;17812868]Introduce her to the Internet. by that, i mean 4Chan's /b/ section.[/QUOTE] That is probably THE WORST thing a kid can do to himself, what remains of /b/, but lulz will surely ensue.
Slap you bitch ass mother down like the righteous motherfucker you are.
I suggest temporarily backing up your forum on a flashdrive, install ubuntu.
[img]http://www.geekologie.com/2007/09/21/knife-holder.jpg[/img]
Your lucky she didn't get to Facepunch. I suggest buying a cheap new hard drive, swapping drives and installing Win7 RC. After this, take the websites in question and perform this step: [release]In Windows XP 1. Click Start->All Programs->Accessories->Command Prompt. 2. Click Command Prompt This will open a DOS command window. 3. Type: notepad C:/Windows/System32/drivers/etc/hosts 4. Locate the line 127.0.0.1 localhost 5. To block the website google.com for example, just add this text under 127.0.0.1 localhost: 127.0.0.1 google.com 127.0.0.1 [url]www.google.com[/url] You can add as many sites any site, However you will need to prefix it with "127.0.0.1". 6. Save the file Google will now be blocked in all web browsers. This is an advanced but easy method on how to block a website. [/release] Hotswap hard drives as you see fit, so you can use your computer unrestricted and when she gets in to it, she see's only the restriced one.
just admit you got a 22 year old boyfriend
[QUOTE=iamgnome;17813134]just admit you got a 22 year old boyfriend[/QUOTE] i'm not gay
[QUOTE=CombineGuru;17813151]i'm not gay[/QUOTE] that's besides the point
All send him PM in which you claim you have been having an online relationship with him for a while now, and want to meet him IRL. FBI gonna like that
We declare war on your mother! [img]http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/pvx/images/b/b7/Pedobears.jpg[/img]
Suicide is the only option.
[QUOTE=Jakobi;17813051]That is probably THE WORST thing a kid can do to himself, what remains of /b/, but lulz will surely ensue.[/QUOTE] Not to ruin the moment for you, but: [MEDIA]http://filesmelt.com/downloader/4563714372.jpg[/MEDIA]
In all seriousness, but a new hard drive, install the operating system that you had on the original, triple encrypt your browser's history and then only keep youfail.com in the history. If they ever do get to it, they'll get the message that you're way better at computers than them and just leave you alone.
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