• Why ascending swirling poop is awesome.
    58 replies, posted
It's 8pm, three hours ago you had just gone to Golden Corral and ate twice your weight in some delicious shit. [img]http://choosinglosing.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/gc.jpg[/img] Pictured above: Delicious shit. Anyway, that time is coming right on around. You get a suggesting gurgle and a mild gas pain and you realize you need to submit yourself to the porcelain throne and drop a dook. Fast forward, you're on your circular stool pummeling your toilet with the remains of that undercooked steak you ate earlier. Fast forward again, upon emptying your bowels you realize something strange: the water from the toilet didn't fly up into your cornhole while you were laying down your chocolate architecture. Surprised, you stand up to see where your poo pile sits on the rating scale. What you see now is not a ten, but an eleven. A true holy shit moment if you've ever seen one. A tall, pinched-tip spiraling turd cascading down and becoming wider at the base to support the massive load up top. This is excellence. But spiraling turds aren't just cool because dogs shit them out all the time. Let's run through a few reasons why spiraling turds are awesome. 1. Spiraling shit is awesome. Look at this clock dude. [img]http://johncopenhaver.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/spiral-time.jpg[/img] See that clock? It's awesome, and it's not because it looks like a re-hashed Ikea clock either. It fucking spirals. Check out these goddamn stairs: [img]http://2black.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/spiral-steps.jpg[/img] What do you think? I know what you think twinkletits, those stairs are cool as [b]shit[/b]. 2. Satisfaction. Benny Benassi made a song about it. Also, the feeling you get when you stand tall above your massive brown structure is something only comparable to the feeling you get when you watch 2girls1cup: Shit is awesome. So awesome, in fact, that those girls couldn't help but eat their own turds. Now, turds as a whole are pretty awesome. But, although dropping a cart of steamy logs is nice, logs are used for building. Looking down and discovering that you've effectively shat out a fully furnished brick house is excellency that everyone should experience for themselves at least once in a lifetime. Now, I urge you, go take a massive dump. With all hope, you'll see the truth.
Yeah swirling shits give you an awesome sense of accomplishment
what the fuck i dont even know what to say i'll just rate you box
ok
lol'ed pretty good.
I lol'd pretty significantly myself.
That was well written chap. Bravo.
[QUOTE=TINCAN;18403424]That was well written chap. Bravo.[/QUOTE] Thank you kind sir.
I lolled
I've found i can actually make my shits wider or thinner as i shit them out, it's pretty hard to master but WELL worth it when you get some shit art going.
Rated artistic. Picasso ain't got shit on this.
[QUOTE=Deadollie;18403464]I've found i can actually make my shits wider or thinner as i shit them out, it's pretty hard to master but WELL worth it when you get some shit art going.[/QUOTE] My god.
Shit thread
[QUOTE=Luxo;18403490]Shit thread[/QUOTE] Very much so.
[QUOTE=Luxo;18403490]Shit thread[/QUOTE] lol
Chocolate architecture.
[QUOTE=Penguiin;18403504]Chocolate architecture.[/QUOTE] Have you laid it?
:cawg: oh god poop jokes
why is it that the well written posts are always about shit
I made one and thought a dog had got in and took a dump
[QUOTE=BricknHead;18403645]why is it that the well written posts are always about shit[/QUOTE] Because if I can write well about shit it must mean I can write really well.
Fuck off with these stupid shit threads.
Holy shit I love Golden Corral. :buddy:
[QUOTE=Boobookittyfuck;18403778]Fuck off with these stupid shit threads.[/QUOTE] Join Date: 1st November 2009 Do you even know what a good thread looks like?
mine are never swirly, how do i do this, i hear dairy queen trains employees on how to make the signiture swirl, maybe i should get a job there.
[QUOTE=rathat48;18403925]mine are never swirly, how do i do this, i hear dairy queen trains employees on how to make the signiture swirl, maybe i should get a job there.[/QUOTE] You can't train in excellence.
I thought of uzumaki for some reason
The words 'shit thread' have never had a better application. And correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't ascending mean 'going up'?
[QUOTE=410hNo;18403847]Join Date: 1st November 2009 Do you even know what a good thread looks like?[/QUOTE] Well, smart shit, do you know what an alt is?
I honestly could "Smell" shit in my head. [editline]02:27PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Boobookittyfuck;18407614]Well, smart shit, do you know what an alt is?[/QUOTE] if you could behave you wouldn't need to make one.
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