Incredibly awkward police training video teaches you about Satanic cults - Polidicks

[url=http://io9.com/5692343/incredibly-awkward-police-training-video-teaches-you-about-satanic-cults]Source[/url] [release]One doesn't become Scully or Mulder overnight. No, to become a crackerjack paranormal investigator, you need knowledge provided by weird training VHS tapes like this one, A Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults. Who knew Satanic sacrifice looked like QVC? [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmQEo-T_gUQ[/media][/release] 2:15 sounds like my kind of modus operandi... :v:

Ah, a product of the Satanic Ritual scare. I was too young to remember it.

I feel well informed.

I was more interested in the girl.

If I squint I can pretend it's some kind of softcore fetish video. I'm OK with this.

Well I'll remember this when I see a victim of a satanic cult...

[quote]And sometimes a penis-[/quote] Was expecting "will be drawn on the forehead".

How come they didnt demonstrate the penis in mouth part?

:devil:

This is the most instructional use of "also, cocks" I have ever seen.

Funny thing is it's extremely biased about it.

How often does this shit even happen? Wasn't it just a massive satanic cult/metal scare in the 90's?

Are checkered bikinis also part of satanic rituals?

You mean people are actually satanists? I thought that whole thing was a joke.

I thought when you drew a pentagram on a dead body they come back to life?

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanic_ritual_abuse[/url]

this is so hot

gotta love the few shots the cameraman keeps doing looking down the chest, he's probably got the stonk on!

"How was your day honey?" :P

Dat Shirt...

Yeah right. Like we'd go through such lengths to just ki- I mean, what an educational video! I now know what to look for if I ever come across a dead body.

I started laughing uncontrollably in the first 5 seconds and don't fucking know why. That guy is just not who I expected to be teaching people about this.

[QUOTE=ZekeTwo;26130657]I started laughing uncontrollably in the first 5 seconds and don't fucking know why. That guy is just not who I expected to be teaching people about this.[/QUOTE] Imagine him without grey hair and wearing mirrored sunglasses and a police hat.

[QUOTE=Mingebox;26130720]Imagine him without grey hair and wearing mirrored sunglasses and a police hat.[/QUOTE] Nope, made it funnier. You forgot to tell me to change his shirt to a police uniform.

[QUOTE=Chilean;26125176][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanic_ritual_abuse[/url][/QUOTE] ZOMG don't play Dungeons & Dragons! IT'S A SATANIC TRAINING SIMULATOR!!!!!!!!!!111111111 OH GOD! Metal music is a Satanic recruitment system! LOOK! That band "Iron Maiden" has a song called "666!" It's funny because most "Satanic cults" are just dumbass angsty teenagers who actually believe in magic and shit. Unfortunately this shit continues today. I recently found a decapitated animal (couldn't even identify what it was) hanging from a wall in an abandoned mental asylum... with a pentagram written under it.

At the start he sounds like Jamie from Mythbusters

[QUOTE=SPESSMEHREN;26131644] It's funny because most "Satanic cults" are just dumbass angsty teenagers who actually believe in magic and shit. Unfortunately this shit continues today. I recently found a decapitated animal (couldn't even identify what it was) hanging from a wall in an abandoned mental asylum... with a pentagram written under it.[/QUOTE] I wonder what Satan does with all the cats and shit that people sacrifice for him "STOP SENDING ME FUCKING CATS JESUS CHRIST"

[QUOTE]Sometimes a penis is placed in the mouth[/QUOTE] We'll demonstrate this right now...

From what I know, I have a hunch that most of these stuff that they are talking about is the Luciferian Satanism, not the De-lay Version of Satanism. From what I heard, the Lucifarian Satanism is litterly batshit insane, that's why most people, including the pagan communities, been informed to keep your dog's or cat's inside the house on the month of october, due to these people killing the animal's.

[QUOTE=darkedone02;26133183]From what I know, I have a hunch that most of these stuff that they are talking about is the Luciferian Satanism, not the De-lay Version of Satanism. From what I heard, the Lucifarian Satanism is litterly batshit insane, that's why most people, including the pagan communities, been informed to keep your dog's or cat's inside the house on the month of october, due to these people killing the animal's.[/QUOTE] "Luciferian Satanism" doesn't exist. Just Luciferianism, since I don't think they attribute Lucifer to Satan. And they don't kill animals, as far as I know. The people who do are usually just generic cultists.