Tennessee Man Attempts To Have Sex With ATM Machine
35 replies, posted
Form of protest or a [B]very [/B]lonely man?
[URL]http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex-with-atm-machine-456932[/URL]
[QUOTE]A Tennessee man was arrested Friday night after he walked into a bar, dropped his pants and underwear, and attempted to have sex with an ATM machine, police report.
Lonnie Hutton, 49, was collared at The Boro Bar and Grill, the Murfreesboro watering hole where he allegedly sought to make a 9 PM deposit.
[URL="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/bar-sex-atm"]According to a Murfreesboro Police Department report[/URL], an officer was dispatched to the bar, where a witness said that Hutton walked to the ATM and “pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals.” Officer M. Rickard added, “Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM.”
After his encounter with the ATM, Hutton “then began to walk ‘nude’ around the bar thrusting his hips in the air,” Rickard reported.
Hutton was subsequently escorted from the bar and “told to sit at a wooden picnic table.” But once outside the bar, Hutton [URL="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/bar-sex-atm"]allegedly[/URL] “again exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”
Seen in the above mug shot, Hutton was booked into the county jail on a public intoxication charge. A cop reported that Hutton--who remains locked up in lieu of $250 bond--smelled of booze, had bloodshot eyes, and had slurred speech.
Hutton, who was not charged for exposing himself, is scheduled for a July 1 appearance in General Sessions court.[/QUOTE]
Well it is the only way your average person can fuck banks, instead of banks fucking them.
ATM Machine....
I don't think its fair to arrest someone just for trying to make a deposit [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/EghyEd9.gif[/IMG]
Make it rain
[quote]Hutton was subsequently escorted from the bar and “told to sit at a wooden picnic table.” But once outside the bar, Hutton allegedly “again exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.”[/quote]
This was the part that got me.
fuck capitalism
Obvious mental case, move along, nothing to see here.
Was just trying to get the most bang for his buck.
Will man, ATMs are for withdrawals not deposits
Jeez I hate when people try fucking my automatic teller machine machine
[QUOTE=Chrisordie;44867526]Will man, ATMs are for withdrawals not deposits[/QUOTE]
I guess he did as the foreskin, and withdrew.
Sperm banks don't work like that, buddy
It must have said "Insert PIN"
Fuck ATMs, get paid?
i guess you could say...
he tried to have sex with an ATM machine
How the hell can he put his dick into the ATM machine?
edit: I mean there is no hole to put that in anyway.
[QUOTE=varg666;44867825]How the hell can he put his dick into the ATM machine?
edit: I mean there is no hole to put that in anyway.[/QUOTE]
I can just see it now; thrusting valiantly with no remorse at the cash deposit compartment on the ATM, the cold steel mocking his enthusiasm. Filling him with the knowledge that he was trying to hump a cash machine that didn't even know his name. Some men want to watch the world burn; Some men want to watch the world humped
Alcohol.
I'll never forget that story about the guy found in a hotel room by a maid trying to make love to a bicycle. Or the one with a guy fucking a hole in a fence line.
That gives "money shot" a new meaning.
[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;44867878]Some men want to watch the world burn; Some men want to watch the world humped[/QUOTE]
Reminds me of this:
[video=youtube;CjnAL1keIwk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjnAL1keIwk[/video]
[img]http://i.cubeupload.com/3MAqVp.png[/img]
Maybe he thought it's a sperm bank ATM.
[QUOTE=gk99;44867491]This was the part that got me.[/QUOTE]
Engaged in sexual intercourse with the picnic table? How does that work, did he insert his dick into a knothole or just rub his dick along the table?
Imagine the splinters you'd get.
[QUOTE=psychojake;44868139]Engaged in sexual intercourse with the picnic table? How does that work, did he insert his dick into a knothole or just rub his dick along the table?
Imagine the splinters you'd get.[/QUOTE]
A bent dick and splinters, can't he choose better inanimate objects to fuck? Oh right he fucked an ATM. I believe his drunken consciousness can't choose inanimate love partners to hump very well.
Maybe it was a really smooth picnic table, all sanded down and stuff. I don't know what varnish feels like on my dick, but maybe it was worth it.
Was it an Ass-To-Mouth Machine?
He looks like Mr. Lahey
[video=youtube;nqc8t73s4u4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqc8t73s4u4[/video]
Vending machine but close enough
he was probably charged for early withdrawal
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he sure made a deposit
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looks like the ATM was in his interest
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he sure invested in that bank
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he clearly lost his balance.
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sex with an ATM? That sounds fund.
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ATM sex could be debt-rimental to your health.
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money pun
-snip-
l8
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