Why It's Hard To Talk About Attraction In Race And Culture - Polidicks

[URL="http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2014/02/01/269551194/why-its-hard-to-talk-about-attraction-in-race-and-culture"]NPR Link[/URL] [quote=NPR]We know that people form preferences and attractions based on others' racial and cultural backgrounds. But the process by which those tendencies are formed and the way they play out in human interactions remains deeply mysterious in many ways. Over this past month, we've been exploring interracial and cross-cultural romance, diving into a series of themes, hosting weekly Twitter chats, and posting about what we find. This past week, we discussed the way racial and cultural preferences play out in our dating lives. We found there were only two things people agree on when they talk about racial/cultural preferences in dating: [B]1. Many — though not all — of us say we have them.[/B] [B]2. They make many — though not all — of us uncomfortable.[/B] Beyond that, everything's contentious. While it's easy to say "to each her own," dating and romance — pretty much by definition — involve interacting with others, and there's where it gets messy. In the last few years, we've seen a lot of interesting data — both anecdotal and actual data — about how preferences affect people's romantic experiences. In 2009, OkCupid published research on how the dating site's users' race affected the messages they received, and we've seen many similar online dating data dumps in the intervening years. Just last week, Gawker's Hamilton Nolan asked several researchers to weigh in on how biological factors affect people's attractions.[/quote] Read the article and thought it would be something cool to post. I know for me, its difficult to date because I also do this, except more so for Latino and Black women and I just get nervous because I'm a pale as fuck white guy. So I just gave up. Anyway, for a [B]TL;DR[/B]. We don't like talking about the fact we don't know nor do we want to know why we're attracted to certain races/cultures.

I've never had a point in my life where I've preferred one race over another. But I guess that's because I'm a triple national myself and I was raised in a multi-cultural background. Everyone is the same boring old colour to me.

[QUOTE=comment on the article]I don't know what reaction this self-observation is going to get me, but, as a white chick, the more I learn about white privilege from blogs such as this, [B]the more I feel like I have a responsibility to my potential future children to only pursue white guys.[/B] [/QUOTE] but isn't this you know, counterproductive? i mean sure if you think you're hitler since you are white then whatever but leave your children out of this, seperating people based on their race has been done in the past and it only lead to awful things. i think there's a point where you try so hard not to be racist that you go full circle and end up becoming horribly racist again

[QUOTE=Aphtonites;43765810]but isn't this you know, counterproductive? i mean sure if you think you're hitler since you are white then go ahead but leave your children out of this, seperating people based on their race has been done in the past and it only lead to awful things. i think there's a point where you try so hard not to be racist that you go full circle and end up becoming horribly racist again[/QUOTE] The SJ scene are really into segregation, basically because they're "PoC" (I hate that acronym, it's like saying "coloured people") Supremacists. Don't wear such-and-such an item of clothing, because they were originally from India or Africa or what have you and are sacred (this is a running theme, apparently no-one in the Third World does anything just because they enjoy it, it's all noble savage sacred Gaia nonsense). Don't listen to this music, don't speak this language, don't follow this religion [I had a screenshot of this but it's on my other (short-circuited) computer] and don't date these people (but if you don't want to you're racist as well). It's absolutely insane. Of course, I predicted that this would happen two years ago in my General Studies A-Level exam, but I still got an E. The BASTARDS!

This thread makes my head hurt

[QUOTE=Sally;43766165]This thread makes my head hurt[/QUOTE] And it's only just begun

[QUOTE=DaysBefore;43766176]And it's only just begun[/QUOTE] The party doesn't start until Maxof2SD walks in.

[QUOTE=Reds;43766349]The party doesn't start until Maxof2SD walks in.[/QUOTE] Normally it wouldn't start until Thisispain arrived, but he's dead so he can't arrive any more

[QUOTE=lazyguy;43766137]The SJ scene are really into segregation, basically because they're "PoC" (I hate that acronym, it's like saying "coloured people") Supremacists. Don't wear such-and-such an item of clothing, because they were originally from India or Africa or what have you and are sacred (this is a running theme, apparently no-one in the Third World does anything just because they enjoy it, it's all noble savage sacred Gaia nonsense). Don't listen to this music, don't speak this language, don't follow this religion [I had a screenshot of this but it's on my other (short-circuited) computer] and don't date these people (but if you don't want to you're racist as well). It's absolutely insane. Of course, I predicted that this would happen two years ago in my General Studies A-Level exam, but I still got an E. The BASTARDS![/QUOTE] Those sorts of people (assuming you are actually talking about something real and not just a strawman) are in the extreme minority, and the term 'Third World' is obsolete in the modern day anyway.

[QUOTE=carcarcargo;43766389]Normally it wouldn't start until Thisispain arrived, but he's dead so he can't arrive any more[/QUOTE] Never forget

[QUOTE=Megafan;43766400]Those sorts of people (assuming you are actually talking about something real and not just a strawman) are in the extreme minority, and the term 'Third World' is obsolete in the modern day anyway.[/QUOTE] I think we should work on a campaign to end use of that antiquated, Cold War term.

I find white women more attractive than black or asian, and I'm white does that make me racist? :v:

[QUOTE=lazyguy;43766137]The SJ scene are really into segregation, basically because they're "PoC" (I hate that acronym, it's like saying "coloured people") Supremacists. Don't wear such-and-such an item of clothing, because they were originally from India or Africa or what have you and are sacred (this is a running theme, apparently no-one in the Third World does anything just because they enjoy it, it's all noble savage sacred Gaia nonsense). Don't listen to this music, don't speak this language, don't follow this religion [I had a screenshot of this but it's on my other (short-circuited) computer] and don't date these people (but if you don't want to you're racist as well). It's absolutely insane. Of course, I predicted that this would happen two years ago in my General Studies A-Level exam, but I still got an E. The BASTARDS![/QUOTE] In America this woman called me racist for wearing Nike AF1's (I know they'e popular with certain gangs but come on), I don't remember my reply exactly but fucking hell her face when she heard my Jamaican dialect

[QUOTE=Lord Xenoyia;43766540]I find white women more attractive than black or asian, and I'm white does that make me racist? :v:[/QUOTE] Yes you are a veritable white supremacist, you monster

Do people really feel uncomfortable because they're not attracted to certain races? Why? Personally, I tend to prefer white women over black or asian women, but that doesn't say anything about prejudice.

People are naturally attracted to people similar to them.

I'm a spic and I prefer asian women. Let's now discuss our race and which race we prefer

[QUOTE=Dr.C;43766794]I'm a spic and I prefer asian women. Let's now discuss our race and which race we prefer[/QUOTE] white dating an asian

I'm a European white male and I'm pretty much only attracted to other white women, some Hispanic women, some darker skinned women, sometimes Asian women. I only slightly prefer white women over others due to cultural similarities. I've dated outside of my culture and it was really awkward.. I've never disliked someone sexually because of their race or anything, just if they were really ugly or annoying, or just a really shitty person lol

[QUOTE=Quark:;43767164]I've never disliked someone sexually because of their race or anything, just if they were really ugly or annoying, or just a really shitty person lol[/QUOTE] That kind of goes without saying. I think that people get the idea that a lack of attraction could be seen as racist because it implies that you're finding black(/asian/whatever) women ugly or annoying [I]because of[/i] their race. It is a tough one, because it's pretty impossible to pin down reasons for attraction, and even harder to do the same for a lack of attraction. If you don't like asians because you prefer girls with big round blue eyes, is that racist? Or is it an unfortunate interaction between your preferences and the physical characteristics of certain races?

[QUOTE=bunguer;43766748]People are naturally attracted to people similar to them.[/QUOTE] As a child I would always envision myself as white. Mirrors were always strange for me. I almost idealized the "white kid" and in my thoughts I became that kid. Wonder if that has anything to do with my attraction to whites.

Everyone should just count their blessings that they're attracted to human beings.

I generally find people attractive on an individual basis rather without really factoring in their race. Only racial thing that really factors in is I don't really like dark skin, lighter tones of black and brown are much more attractive to me than darker.

[QUOTE=Helix Snake;43767268]Everyone should just count their blessings that they're attracted to human beings.[/QUOTE] Yeah, this thread makes me feel sad.....

[QUOTE=bunguer;43766748]People are naturally attracted to people similar to them.[/QUOTE] I guess that's why I think Arab/Persian women are attractive, considering I'm a white creole. Oops! Funny thing about white creole... I've got that big nordic face and them big nordic brow bones, red hair... yet I've got cheekbones up to my forehead and shovel shaped front teeth.

Why does it matter? I've dated a white guy, a Latino girl, a half-black/half-Filipino girl, and I'm thinking about asking out a Chinese girl soon. So who's business is that besides mine and the other party involved?

I don't know why, but I've never once found a black person attractive. Like, I can't get a stiffy at all, even if I try. It's strange, I have nothing against black people, but I'm just not attracted to them. Does this make me a bad person (I hope not)?

My parents are mixed race couple and I'm a mutt, race don't matter as long as it doesn't deter you from the start

[QUOTE=ForgottenKane;43767355]I don't know why, but I've never once found a black person attractive. Like, I can't get a stiffy at all, even if I try. It's strange, I have nothing against black people, but I'm just not attracted to them. Does this make me a bad person (I hope not)?[/QUOTE] Just because you arent attracted to a certain race sexually or romantically doesnt make you racist or bad its just a preference

I think people are confusing attraction with dating preferences. It's possible to be attracted to someone and even want to date them but then you don't due to other reasons. It could be family pressure for instance. So people look at you and think you are not attracted to a certain race because you never date them but lack of attraction has nothing to do with it.