HOW TO GO OUT IN STYLE! An Electric Retard guide to Suicide in MSpaint
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Here comes the next instalment of our MSpaint guides. This time we have pulled in some talent from some FP members to give it a local feel. We also have a new guide director, [b]Reichsfuhrer Ajaa.[/b]
Please enjoy it and be warned, it's a big one. Heres the
[url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=622455][HIGHLIGHT]ISLAM[/highlight] [/url]
[url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=576017]FETISH[/url]
[url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=536732][highlight]ZOOPHILIA[/highlight] [/url]
[url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=586804]NECROPHILIA[/url]
[url=http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=556785] [highlight]DATING[/highlight] [/url]
guide links for those who missed them.
[b]Welcome to the 5th Lolokaust guide in MS Paint.[/b]
Do you feel lonely and abandoned in this cruel world? Can’t bear the negative parts of your life anymore? Have the impression you have no purpose in this senseless world? Got the feeling that no one understands you? Don’t know how to go on with this life? There is a solution for ALL your problems – suicide! That’s right! This guide will help you find the best way to end your miserable little life. Read on to find out which way suits you best!
[highlight]SUICIDE THE FINAL SOLUTION FOR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS[/highlight]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/01.gif[/img]
[highlight][b]INTRODUCTION[/b][/highlight]
Suicide is not a joke, although you can still have fun committing it! Still, you can’t just simply kill yourself without thinking about how you’re going to do it. To go out in style you need to prepare properly because naturally you want to leave a shocking impression amongst the people witnessing your death and the people hearing about it.
[highlight][b]GETTING STARTED[/b][/highlight]
There are basically four things you need to have checked before committing a suicide:
• Find out which method you prefer.
• Look for a good place where your body will easily be found or where there’s always a big crowd of people who can witness your, hopefully, spectacular death.
• Be sure to provide yourself with all the equipment you’ll need.
• Write a super serious death note that will put everybody’s teeth on edge and shows that you really went out in style.
There are a lot of different suicide methods. Some of them might end in a great bloody mess, shocking a huge amount of people while others might be more silent, keeping your rotting corpse unnoticed for several years until it’s found by an innocent elderly woman with a small dog.
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/02.png[/img]
[highlight][b]STEP 1: CHOOSING THE METHOD[/b][/highlight]
To evaluate these methods, we developed a rating system and these badges:
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/b.gif[/img]Bloody Mess – awarded for outstandingly gory methods
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/y.gif[/img]Go out in Style – awarded for stylish methods
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/c.gif[/img]Good ol’ Classic – an approved method or at least it’s often used
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/s.gif[/img]Fucking shocking – if it makes the betrayer’s guts melt
The methods get rated with 0 – 5 points in 4 different categories which get summed up in the overall rating. Categories will be rated from the standpoint of someone who wants little pain, a quick death and little effort and expenses as well as a high impact.
[highlight][b]HANGING[/b][/highlight][img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/c.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/03.png[/img]
So the emo music you’re listening to tells you your life is crap and that it should come to an end soon? Or you just can’t live with your mother anymore and the only way to escape from her is to kill yourself? Then all you need is a strong rope.
What you need to know is how to tie a noose. This next illustration will give you the idea of how to do it:
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/04.png[/img]
Now you just need to tie the end of the rope around some high and strong object, stand on a chair, put the noose around your neck and push the chair away with your feet.
Note: It is said that the lack of oxygen increases the sexual pleasure. Some observations in the past showed that sometimes the victims had erection and ejaculated when they were hanged. That means you might gain a benefit from hanging yourself by having an orgasm right before the very last breath you take.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/4.png[/img]
Depends on your neck – if your attempt at breaking your neck is successful this will be done very fast. If your neck doesn’t break in the first second it will take some minutes for you to suffocate.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/4.png[/img]
If your neck breaks, you’ll be dead on a place so you won’t feel anything. Otherwise the only pain will be caused from the rope rubbing your neck.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/5.png[/img]
A rope or a wire.
Costs: They don’t cost much. You should check your local supply store for these things.
[b][u]Impact[/u]:[/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/1.png[/img]
Very little – no gore, only family members and police might see your corpse. You can only hope that you’ll shit yourself when hanging but for bigger impact you can do it over the internet like [url=http://charonboat.com/cgi-bin/ItemView.cgi?id=67]this guy[/url] did.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/4.png[/img]
Classic and still quite common. And everyone knows today’s emos like to stick with the mainstream.
[highlight][b]GUN SHOT[/b][/highlight][img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/c.gif[/img][img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/b.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/05.png[/img]
Can’t live on with being ridden by the guilt of fucking your own mother? Shooting yourself in the head could be a good way to settle your bad conscience.
There are many ways and places to shoot yourself. Also there is a broad variety of firearms offering different effects. Shotguns, which you can even improve by sawing them off, for example, allow you to totally devastate the part of your body you shoot at, leaving the biggest Shocker-effect. If you use a rifle or a machine gun, don’t forget to choose between hollow-point and full-metal jacket bullets. For maximum devastation we suggest hollow-point ones, although you might then need multiple shots out of your gun instead of only one.
For a quick death we suggest you to aim at the head or the heart. You can also shoot yourself just somewhere in the stomach (caution: avoid wounding the gallbladder unless you’re a pain-loving slow-dying wannabe psycho-masochist).
One of the greatest methods of shooting yourself in the head is to stand with your back against the wall (you can also stand against the wall facing it but we suggest you the first method because you want everyone to see your dead face when they first come and see you or else you’ll be just laying there with your face against the wall). Then simply place the gun at your head (make sure the bullet will go in the direction of the wall) and pull the trigger. The wall will be beautifully splattered with your blood.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/5.png[/img]
Depends on the body part you’re wounding.
Head, heart: as soon as you pull the trigger you’re dead.
Stomach: it might take hours for you to bleed to death. Also this increases the pain factor.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/3.png[/img]
If done right, there is usually not much pain so this method is suitable for those who seek a fast, painless death. However, if you use hollow point ammunition or if the first bullet doesn’t kill you it can get very, very bad.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/2.png[/img]
Any kind of firearm.
Costs: if you buy a used weapon and cheap ammunition it might cost not less than $100, if you like quality you will need about 10 times as much money. Also watch out that your local laws allow you to have a weapon or this could get complicated or you will have to visit your local black market.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/4.png[/img]
For a bigger effect we suggest you to choose the method standing against the wall and then shooting yourself using a sawed-off shotgun or multiple shots involving hollow-point bullets.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/4.png[/img]
Kurt Cobain did it, some Nazi generals (allegedly) did it, why wouldn’t you want to do it?
[highlight][b]BURNING[/b][/highlight][img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/s.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/06.png[/img]
Preparing for this method is quite easy. All you need is any kind of highly flammable liquid and a fire resource. First you’ll have to soak yourself with the flammable liquid. You can do that by pouring it all over your body or you can just pour it on your head. Then you should go outside and look for a place full of people. When you have found the right spot light yourself up and do whatever you wanna do to gain attention. If you prefer to die alone we suggest you to do it in a bathroom. You’ll just need to fill up your bathtub with the flammable substance, dip in, light it up and have fun dying. Just make sure you don’t burn the house.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/3.png[/img]
It takes about ten minutes to die.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/0.png[/img]
You will suffer from heavy body burns, also experience hyperthermia, hypovolemic shock or airway burns which will cause suffocation. It is not recommended to wear synthetic clothing since it melts very well causing enormous pain when gurgling onto the skin.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/5.png[/img]
Gasoline, rubbing alcohol, petroleum (anything flammable), matches, lighter (any kind of fire source).
Costs: Because of the high fuel prices at the moment this could get a bit expensive but it’s still quite affordable.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/3.png[/img]
Just imagine their shock when they’ll look at your terribly shriveled body and wry their ugly faces as the awfully disgusting stench fucks their noses making them throw up. Spectacular…
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/3.png[/img]
Choose this if you are bored of all those fast and boring methods.
[highlight][b]FREEZING[/b][/highlight][img][/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/07.png[/img]
This method can be easily done for those who work in slaughterhouses, ice cream factories or any other food production units since a large size refrigerator is needed. All you have to do is just sneak in and hide behind a big piece of beef. You can also freeze yourself using cold water, snow or ice but this can be done only at the wintertime when the temperature is decently below 0°C. The method is to break a hole in ice and dip into the cold water.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
It depends on the location. It can take minutes, it can take hours. The lower the temperature the faster you’ll die.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
You will experience hypothermia. When the body temperature starts to drop you will start shivering, hands and feet will go numb, the blood vessels will contract, the skin will become extra Aryan pale and you will experience major organ damage.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A large refrigerator, which you even don’t have to buy – just sneak in.
Alternative (done at wintertime): a heavy object for breaking the ice.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
A frozen body is like a sculpture, nothing shocking. There won’t be even a smell.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
Not quite shocking but definitely original. Choose this if you want something different from the everyday usual methods.
[highlight][b]SUICIDE BOMBING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/08.png[/img]
This method has been practiced since the explosives have been invented. It is very common in the Middle East and quite popular for the suicide terrorists. The most important thing in committing this method of suicide is to take action in a crowded place like supermarket, school or airport. So put on your ghutra, bisht and shaheed belt and go seek for a nice place to blow yourself up.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
It takes a second to blow the shit up.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Depends on the strength of the explosives. The pain might be terrible or not there at all.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
Explosives.
Costs: very expensive – a big minus. You can also use homemade ones, but they will take much time to make as well as effort to get all the chemicals and learning to construct them.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A devastating lolocaust!
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
At least you took some of these fuckers with you, right?
[highlight][b]SEPPUKU[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/09.png[/img]
Self extermination form performed in ancient Japan by samurais. But the history of seppuku is not what you need to know. You need to know how to do it. Basically it’s cutting your belly open and letting your intestines fall out. Sit on the ground, prepare the blade, plunge it into your stomach and cut by pulling it from left to right.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
It’s like reading a book by Goethe, it feels like it takes forever!
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
It might tickle a little in the stomach area.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
You need some traditional Japanese clothing and a tantō – a special dagger, which was used by samurais for accomplishing self extermination. If you don’t have this special item, then steal it from a museum or some rich fuck that collects these kinds of things. But we’d rather suggest you using a boning knife, a filleting knife or any other sharp knife that has a long blade and a short handle.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
This is the most brutal and honourable death at the same time. A big win, although it tickles.
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[color=lightblue][u]Overall rating:[/u][/color][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
Only a true winner would choose this.
[highlight][b]NAILING YOURSELF TO A CROSS[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/10.png[/img]
If you’re a big fan of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, then this one is for you. You should ask yourself: “What would Jesus do?” That’s right, he would perform a satanic ritual by nailing himself to a cross. But Jesus wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to do it himself so he let others kill him. Obviously the answer is not lying in the Bible so we are going to explain you how to nail yourself to a cross yourself. This is one of the rare methods that takes a lot of effort. So don’t bother with this unless you have a great patience.
So first of all you need a wooden cross that is a little less than two times taller than you. Position the cross vertically on the ground, lock two bows in a still position each one in front of the cross where your hands will be placed, place the nails into the bows, pull the strings, attach them to a still object (wall for example), place two candles under the strings and light them up. Then put a huge ice cube by the cross, hop on, spread your arms, place your hands in front of the bows and wait. When the candles will have burnt the strings, the nails will pierce through your hands. What you have left to do is wait until the ice cube under your feet melts.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
You’ll just hang there until you die which may take several days. But to make it quick you can add the third bow and place it in front of your chest or head.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
A stinging pain in hands and feet. Afterwards you’ll die in a slow agonizing pain. It will sure put your faith on a test.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
A huge wooden cross, two at least 6 inch nails, two bows or crossbows, two candles, a huge ice cube. Borrow, steal or make those things yourself. We don’t care.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
For bigger impact, you can do all of this by turning the cross upside down. But one thing is for sure – people will like it.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
If you think it’s worth it then you can finally prove you are a true Christian!
[highlight][b]DRUG OVERDOSE[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/11.png[/img]
This method is quite popular between women and celebrities. It’s simple, it’s easy and it doesn’t take much effort. Go and take a look in the grandma’s medicine kit. There definitely have to be kilograms of pills and shit. Don’t spend time on reading the labels and expiry dates, take them all. If you don’t have any pills at home, don’t spend money on buying them, choose another method of suicide. Next step is simple: stuff as much as pills in you as you can. Just swallow them all and drink some booze over them, it will fasten the whole process. If your throat is so tender that you can’t swallow so many pills at once then you can go with the “drug cocktail”. Simply put all the pills into a blender and pour in some alcohol. Blend it and then drink it. You can also overdose by injecting large amounts of heavy narcotics in your veins. Once again – too much effort. We suggest sticking to the pills.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A few minutes.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Probable stomachache and vomiting. Nothing scary, you’ll just black out and won’t wake up again.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Drugs, pills, medicaments, alcohol – you know where to get them.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Nothing special. It will look like you’re sleeping.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Nothing complicated since all the stuff needed you can find at home.
[highlight][b]POISONING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/12.png[/img]
Remember the story about Romeo and Juliet of how Romeo poisoned himself and Juliet stabbed her till death? You could do the same by committing a couple-suicide. Either both of you die in a same way, either each of you choose different methods. Anyhow, the easiest way to poison yourself, is to find some strong cleaners in your household like those which are used for toilet cleaning, take a bottle and drink it. Try not to vomit. If you happen to vomit then simply drink another bottle.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Couple of minutes and you will be very dead.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
You will experience strong stomachache, vomiting and/or spasms.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Anything toxic and poisonous – cleaners, methanol, cyanide, arsenic, heavy metals etc.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
A small impact. The only disgust they might get is from your agonizing face expression or your foaming mouth.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
Perfect for couple-suicides. Also, if you can’t find anything better than toilet cleaners nearby.
[highlight][b]CARBON MONOXIDE INHALATION[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/13.png[/img]
Simple – add a tube to the car’s exhaust and put the other end of the tube in the salon through the window. Then seal up the opening of the window so that no air could flow outside the car. Do it by stuffing cloths in the gap and securing them with a duck tape. Then get in the car, start the engine, close all the openings and wait till the gas fills up the salon. However, if you don’t own a car, you can use the alternative. You have to find a big traffic jam where all the cars are standing still but their engines still running. Simply sneak behind one car, suck on the exhaust and just breath in the fumes.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
Depends how fast the gas fills up the car salon.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
No pain. You’ll just fall into eternal sleep.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
A car (better if the car is old), a tube, a duck tape and some cloth.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
The same as with the drug overdose. It will look like you’re asleep.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
A cheap method that will never fail you.
[highlight][b]EXPLODING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/14.png[/img]
Try this: put a gas pipe up your ass, wait till the gas has filled your insides, open your mouth and light up a match. Ok, if this didn’t work, then get some explosives. The easiest for use would be a grenade so get it. What you have to do is put it in your mouth and then pull the ring. How about taking some innocent lives with you? For some fun you could go to a rollercoaster ride. When choosing the seat, sit in the front car of the train. When the train starts moving put the grenade in your mouth. It’s up to you when to pull the ring. Do it whenever you feel like. You can also put the grenade up your ass. A sweet “chocolate rain” will cheer your bored friends. You could also try swallowing a dynamite and leaving the detonating cord outside of your mouth. Then light it up and wait for the boom.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A second and you’re gone.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
You won’t feel anything. The only thing you should worry about is that the explosives you’ve stuffed up your butt hole are faulty and could seriously damage everything down there instead of killing you. Be careful with your ass.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Grenades, dynamites, etc. – all the small shit that can fit in your mouth or asshole.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A magnificently devastating lolocaust!
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Stick to good quality explosives and nothing will go wrong.
[highlight][b]SUFFOCATION[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/15.png[/img]
What you need to do is shut access to oxygen or block your airways. For this you can use a plastic bag. Before putting the bag on your head check if there are no holes. Then put it on your head and bind a duck tape around your neck to prevent air from flowing into the bag. Another way to use a plastic bag is pretty similar but instead of just suffocating from the lack of oxygen you simply vomit while the bag is on your head and choke on your puke. To do this put anything you find disgusting in the bag before putting it onto your head. For example you can take a shit in the bag. Another way is to shit in a plastic bag as much as it’s full of shit. It’s the best if your poop is liquid and squirty. If you are shitting big lumps then shred them into smaller pieces and add some urine to make the whole matter more liquid. Then you hang the shit bag somewhere by the wall, connect a tube to another plastic bag and put it on your head (don’t forget to seal the holes and openings). Watch how the liquid is flowing through the tube into your bag and slowly drowning you in shit. Another alternative: If you can reach your penis with your mouth, you can suck on it, ejaculate in your mouth and choke on your own cum. Done.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
About 7 - 10 minutes to suffocate from the lack of oxygen. About 1 – 2 minutes to choke on shit/cum.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
It’s absolutely painless. But it might feel uncomfortable.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Basically a plastic bag, a duck tape.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
If you do the classical plastic bag suffocation method, then it’s boring. However, if you choose our alternative methods then it’s a definite success.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Suitable for everyday normal average people.
[highlight][b]JUMPING FROM A HEIGHT[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/16.png[/img]
Find some good height like a building or a cliff or any other high place. If you choose jumping from a building you should jump at least from the fourth or higher floor otherwise you’ll end up with broken legs, arms, ribs or in the worst case a broken spine which will lead to a paralysis for life. So if you're afraid from the heights then don't try this method. The best way is to jump with your head first. You’ll hit the ground with your head which will lead to instant death. It is also important that the ground you’re going to hit has a hard surface. Jumping from a building is classical but you can also try jumping from a cliff. For example, if your friends have invited you to mountain climbing, it’s a great opportunity to take them with you. Usually they would connect each other with a rope tied around the waist when climbing in mountains. So it’s better if you are at the end of the line cause nobody will notice you. You’ll just wait for the best moment and then jump. As you fall down the cliff you will drag your buddies with you. Another method is jumping out of a plane and trying to hit other skydivers or fly into their parachutes. Taking innocents with you is always a good thing to do.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Some people say that you die while you fall and just when you hit the ground you’re already dead. Anyways, as soon as you hit the ground you’re dead.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
This is one of the quick deaths which brings no pain. You won’t feel a thing.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
No equipment needed.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
If you choose jumping from a cliff while climbing mountains or jumping out of a plane without using a parachute, it might look as an accident not a suicide. The higher place you choose to jump off the bigger the mess. You can hope for a smashed head, brains, lots of blood and shit.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Classic, effective, costless and fast way to die.
[highlight][b]JUMPING IN FRONT OF A CAR / TRAIN[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/17.png[/img]
Go to a railway station and wait. When you see the train coming, quickly get naked and just when the train is about to approach the station shout and jump in front of it. It is important to get as much attention from the people around as you can. You can also go to a highway and just try getting to the other side while running into cars. Or you can just stand by and when a big truck is coming simply jump in front of it. Or if you happen to be a soldier in a battlefield, seek for a tank that’s coming into your way and simply lay in front of it and feel the caterpillar treads going over your cracking bones. You can also jump in front of a plane or just get sucked into its turbine.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Usually it all happens fast but it depends on the speed of the vehicle.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
Although it happens very fast, there will be enough time to savor all the bone breaking pain. It can be painless if you break your skull or spine in the first second. It can also be painful if only one part of your body gets under the wheel and you get smeared against the asphalt.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
No additional equipment is needed.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
[highlight][b]A DELIBERATE CAR ACCIDENT[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/18.png[/img]
You’ll need a car but you can use a motorbike, too. No matter if you can drive it or not, you just need to get it on the road. Get in, don’t forget not to buckle up and drive full speed down the highway. Once you see another car coming towards don’t hesitate to crush into it. Instant death guaranteed. If you want some more adrenaline you should steal a school bus and simply drive it off the cliff taking as many innocents with you as possible. Oh, and don’t be afraid to hit some pedestrians in your way, too. Driving around and hitting people is sure lot of fun.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Actually depends on you. Take your time. Just drive around and have some fun.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Might hurt only for less than a second right before your body gets crushed.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Any kind of vehicle.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
The old classic scenery – brain on the car’s windshield, blood splattered all over the seats, body parts scattered around. As usual.
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
You can still have some fun before leaving this world.
[highlight][b]OVERFEEDING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/19.png[/img]
If you are fat, lazy and love to eat then this one is for you. To commit this suicide you won’t even have to move around or leave the house. You just sit back on your couch, turn on the TV and start loading up yourself with food. You will probably suffocate or explode from the large amounts of food you take.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
Actually depends on the size of your stomach. The bigger it is the more time you’ll need to fill it up.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
You will possibly experience heavy stomach ache, occasional vomiting and shitting. If you need to shit or vomit do it right on the spot.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Lots of food. The amount depends on the size of your stomach. We recommend fatty and junk foods like pizza, hamburgers, pasta, bacon, lots of lots of fat.
Costs: depends on the amount of food + home delivery. For cheaper costs we suggest ordering fast foods.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
The impact is that they will have to call for a truck to transport your fat stinky corpse to the morgue (we assume that you are fat cause a normal person wouldn’t choose this kind of suicide) + a custom sized coffin. There also will be lots of shit and vomit and you will be floating in your body fluids.
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
This will only show how much you loved to eat.
[highlight][b]SHITTING TO DEATH[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/20.png[/img]
Don’t be afraid to combine this method with overfeeding. When you feel like you can’t hold it any longer take as much diarrhoea pills as you can. The more you take the better. This will cause enormous exploding diarrhoea. This means your body will lose lots of water and you will start to dehydrate. The big amount of dehydration will lead you to death.
The alternate name for this suicide is “The Shredded Asshole”.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
It is believed that a human can live up to seven days without water. So if you drink no water and shit all the shit out it will take about a week.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
Imagine a bomb exploding in your anus. Yes, it will be very painful.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Diarrhea pills; available at any pharmacy.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
There will be so much faeces that you will float in the liquid sea of excrements. There also will be blood cause the exploding diarrhoea will shred your anus apart. The terrifying smell will scare people away yet you will look awesome.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
“The Shredded Asshole” won’t fail you.
[highlight][b]EXSANGUINATION / BLEEDING TO DEATH[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/21.png[/img]
A method that many emo’s have approved nowadays. Cutting your wrist takes only a second – very easy. For a slower death you should cut your veins. However, if you want to die faster you should cut your arteries. Cut either your wrists (veins) or neck (arteries).
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
If you cut your vein instead of artery it takes so much time that you can manage doing something useful whilst bleeding. For example take your dog out, or watch television, or masturbate, or do anything you want but remember - the more you’ll move around the faster you’ll bleed.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
It hurts only when you cut your wrist. The rest is just a peaceful waiting. For some more pain and originality you can chop your whole hand off.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
A sharp razorblade. It’s the classic you can buy almost at any store. However if you want to be more original you can use different blades or sharp objects like knives, broken glass or mirror, nails, barbed wires, axes, chainsaws, etc.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Nothing special since this method of suicide is very common these days. To make it a bit more special you can use your blood to write an emotional message on the wall.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
Due to the stereotype of emo’s using this method we wouldn’t suggest using it unless you want everyone else to think that you were a whiny emo douche-bag.
[highlight][b]ELECTRIC SHOCK[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/22.gif[/img]
Fill your bathtub with water. While the water is filling in go and find an electric device in your household. It can be a toaster, a hairdryer, a TV, a PC, etc. Let’s take a toaster for example. Get into the bath while holding the toaster. Plug the toaster in, turn it on and drop it into the water. Another way is to take a sharp metal object and stick it into the electric socket. Or go outside and climb an electricity pole and try to reach and grab the wires while still holding to the pole. Or maybe you work in a prison as electrician. You can surely use the electric chair for self execution. Well, if you are so retarded that you can’t get electricity anywhere then we’re suggesting you to stand under a tree in a thunderstorm while holding a metallic object. Good thing if you’re a dirty wigger/rapper. Those shiny blings surely will attract the lightning and strike the shit out of you.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Everything happens in a matter of few seconds.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Though it lasts only few seconds the pain will be enormous. Once the electricity starts flowing through your body you won’t be able to move or get away. The high voltage will fry you alive.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Electricity.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
Despite the smell of burnt flesh your corpse will look like a fried chicken with crispy skin.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
Suitable for all ages.
[highlight][b]DROWNING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/4397f642ae501334870bbc66c99b4113.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/23.png[/img]
Nothing complicated since all you need is to get liquid in your lungs. Get your head under the water and inhale. Do this in a bathtub, a sink, a pool, a lake, a river – anything you can imagine. You can also do it by the dinner table with your family. Serve them a soup then in the middle of the dinner plunge your face into your dish and drown in soup. Maybe you don’t want such big attention from the people around you. Then you should drown yourself in the sewers or maybe in a public restroom by plunging your head into a toilet bowl. The options are unlimited. Use your imagination.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Once the water gets into your lungs you’re dead.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
In the very first moment the water gets into your lungs it hurts a bit. It lasts for less than a second. After that a death follows.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
The only thing you’ll need is a water resource (or a soup… or any other liquid).
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Nothing special or shocking so the best suggestion to improve the impact is to find a good spot and a way to perform a drowning suicide.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Fast, fun, easy. Nothing can go wrong.
[highlight][b]BURYING YOURSELF ALIVE[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/24.png[/img]
This usually was practiced by hillbillies since the method is easy and costless so if you live in a city you might not understand the beauty of this method. City people are just so used to razors, sleeping pills, cars and all the other stuff. Maybe it’s time for you to go out in nature one last time. The process is simple: find a hillside with soft sand and start digging a tunnel. The sand should fall on you at some moment while you’re digging but if it’s not happening, you can start digging upwards. The sand will bury you alive pretty fast. But if you live in a city and there is no sand you can go and look for a construction site. Simply look for a cement mixer truck and a hole where you could pour the cement in. Drive the car by the hole and start filling the cement automatically in the hole, quickly get out of the truck and jump into the hole.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
The suffocation is very quick. Once the sand or cement gets into your airways you will suffocate in a few moments.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
You will experience a little discomfort as the weight of the sand/cement will put some pressure on your body. Also when the sand/cement gets into your lungs it will feel weird. Overall it’s not painful, it’s rather uncomfortable.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Sand: the only thing you need is your hands. To make it easier you can use a shovel.
Cement: a cement mixing truck.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
There’s a big chance that no one will actually find your body. You can only hope that some kid will accidentally come across your foot sticking out of the sand or cement.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
100% effective and doesn’t cost anything.
[highlight][b]BUILDING YOURSELF BETWEEN THE WALLS[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/25.png[/img]
Go and look for a construction site. You need to look for an unfinished double layer brick wall. Stand between those two layers and finish laying bricks. Also it is recommended to stand closer to the wall corners. It can be a chimney, a column or any other construction with a hollow inside. It can also be one of those slab walls. Just look for an unfinished hole in those slabs, sneak behind them and hope that nobody will find you.
[b]Caution[/b] (author's note): Be careful and choose a construction site with trustworthy workers or else you’ll end up like one of my friends who chose to commit suicide by building himself between the walls. See, the problem was that the workers at the construction site were real sick fucks. They found out that my friend had built himself between the wall slabs and what they did they drilled a hole in the wall right at the height of my friend’s buttocks. They were constantly raping him in the ass through this hole. My friend couldn’t bear it long and three days later he died. So watch out, buddy. There are some real sick people out there.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
You will most likely die from dehydration due to the lack of water. As explained earlier in “The Shredded Anus” section it will take at least a week for you to dehydrate.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Not much of pain, you only might experience a little discomfort while crawling between the narrow walls.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
There is no extra equipment you should buy. All the stuff you need to build yourself between the walls will be right on the spot at the construction site.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Hopefully the stench of your rotting body will be so strong that the new residents of the house will notice it. However, if you’re building yourself in the chimney make sure to do it in the springtime. After a half year your corpse will be in a perfect condition to shock people. Then they will use the fireplace and the fun begins.
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[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Successful yet dangerous way to die.
[highlight][b]RIPPED APART BY WILD ANIMALS[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/26.png[/img]
Go to the zoo, find a lion cage, climb over the safety fence, get close to the lions and start annoying them. If you get lucky, they will get angry and attack you. Or you can simply go to Africa and go for hunting. There's nothing complicated about this method since all you need is to confront wild and angry animals.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/53aea7fde53121b2fc282d1abd176d15.png[/img]
Depends on how hungry the animals are. If they're hungry, they'll eat you up pretty fast.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/d3fde41ab50035cb8053418b7b70cc00.png[/img]
The animals will bite, rip pieces of flesh from your body and eat you alive.
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
No equipment needed.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Classic gore – blood, ripped flesh, intestines, etc.
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
This one so called 'cheap' methods. Suitable for those who can't afford anything better.
[highlight][b]BEHEADING[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/27.png[/img]
Beheading is a lot of fun because you can never know what the victim’s face will look like once beheaded. Anyways, the easiest way is just finding a nice railroad and putting your neck on the rail. The hardest part is the waiting so if you are a man with a huge patience you could probably choose this method. You can also cut your head off using a guillotine. Go on, build yourself a guillotine, then put your neck under the blade whilst holding the string that is attached to the blade. When you’re ready release the string and let the head roll.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Usually less than a second.
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
Everything happens so fast that you won’t feel a thing. The only problem you should worry about is that you might have a faulty guillotine or a dull blade. The blade could cut your neck only halfway that would cause some unpleasant feelings…
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/96283b582c6b3cbb37a72db7ff066b12.png[/img]
If you’re building a guillotine you’ll need some planks and nails, hammer, blade and a string of course. When nailing the planks together, a rail for the blade should be made so it could smoothly slide downwards. We think you’ll figure how to build that up.
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/4a1438bf7f7646c806fcf895b8e4153d.png[/img]
A headless body – what can be better than that? Make sure to make a funny face before releasing the string.
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/94fccccb2066060fc71d4c072e09a06a.png[/img]
Fast, fun and painless.
[highlight][b]COMBO[/b][/highlight][img]http://your-images.org/pics/791cd10292a99160d054201fb3e67578.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/49ed3815af2e5c8dbf4b1d833986a0f9.gif[/img][img]http://your-images.org/pics/919d5164b608874da5c0cc940fd4a8f7.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/28.png[/img]
“Combo” is actually something that anyone can leave to their imagination individually. It means that you can combine any methods you like. The options here are absolutely unlimited.
[b][u]Time:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
[b][u]Pain:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
[b][u]Equipment:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
[b][u]Impact:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
_____________________
[b][u]Overall rating:[/u][/b] [img]http://your-images.org/pics/ab38c61204dac87edff90f458b3c511d.png[/img]
We give this the highest rating because it is up to you how you will plan your suicide. You make your own choices and nothing can go wrong.
[b][highlight]STEP 2: WRITING THE SUICIDE NOTE[/highlight][/b]
Suicide notes are important; they are probably the last thing people will read from you. You want to leave a good impression, don’t you? Sure you want! So listen well because surely you don’t want your note to be vanishing amongst all the other emo’s suicide notes.
First of all you are allowed to write anything you want. Write a poem, tell how much you hated them, reveal where you buried Mrs Fletcher's body – anything you can imagine. The most important thing is to tell the reason you are killing yourself. You can also make up stuff and maybe give your family the feeling that it’s their fault that you’re dead. Here's an example of a suicide note:
[quote]“Dear mom and dad,
I hate you!
Sincerely, your beloved son.”[/quote]
You can write your suicide note anywhere you want, just be sure that it will be found. Write it on a piece of paper, a toilet paper, your own body or on the wall using ink, paint, shit, blood or cum. However, it is not an obligatory. You can go out without leaving a message behind you.
[b][highlight]CONCLUSION[/highlight][/b]
We hope this guide helps you in committing a suicide. However if you have decided to kill yourself that means you’re a failure but if you fail at killing yourself then you’re an incredibly huge master-failure. But anyways don’t forget that it is always the best to take as much lives with you as you can. How and where to do it is up to you and if you carefully follow our guide it will lead to a great success.
A few tips to remind you before you finish reading this guide and going onwards to killing yourself:
-videotape or stream your suicide on internet; make sure everyone sees it.
-arrange a small terror act; kill some people, blow up something and then kill yourself.
GO OUT IN STYLE!
[img]http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/suicide/29.png[/img]
[b][highlight]THANKS TO OUR LOLOKAUST TEAM:[/highlight][/b]
[u]Project director[/u]
Ajaa
[u]Text written by[/u]
Ajaa, UTF-88
[u]Art by[/u]
Ajaa, Happyman, Jewdozer, oblogathon, Piestar, REDghostkiller, Sadman, walterbarrett, Yedstar, 1sauber1
[u]Promotion[/u]
Jewdozer
- [url]www.lolokaust.com[/url] -
[img]http://your-images.org/pics/b3bab74e5f6abf9b48a29a5b31a5ae35.png[/img]
Six weeks work and about 20 flamewars later we produced this guide above. MSpaint doesn't have the tricks that other prog's do so what you see is partly retarded pictures for fun but also some well drawn art that has come from much time and hard work.
Fuck yeah, I've been waiting for the next "guide".
[QUOTE=AlphaGunman]Fuck yeah, I've been waiting for the next "guide".[/QUOTE]
You might not be waiting too long for part 6 either, already a lot of the details have been discussed.
Can you tell me what it's going to be about? ;)
nice drawings! a bit nasty but i like:D
[QUOTE=AlphaGunman]Can you tell me what it's going to be about? ;)[/QUOTE]
Heres a little clue, fancy drawing something with us?>
[url]http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=602885[/url]
and heres the frames that didn't make it for one reason or another>
[img]http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/9034/timemachineqc7.png[/img]
[img]http://your-images.org/pics/864b71c66247f5a50db011c3307d61c9.PNG[/img]
[img]http://your-images.org/pics/25c2765d86ed9950920888ce8114841e.PNG[/img]
[img]http://www.your-images.org/pics/c25575fefe0b9f2bf8bb94c38dee9f52.PNG[/img]
[img]http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/8141/shitai6.png[/img]
[img]http://www.your-images.org/pics/f53ba200159b6e0548be67d6d7d8b74d.PNG[/img]
Nah, I can't draw for shit.
:uhoh:
you are a sick man...
i like it :q:
Very disturbing as usual, good job :v:
One thing, there should be a lethality rating for each one, in some you it's not sure if you die. you could end up in hospital and or even prison.
Hmmmm... Useful! :D
Seriously though, kind of interesting thing the guides always have. Don't let people call you crazy... It's all in good fun and I laughed at most of the descriptions and pictures.
Also, the first pic: [IMG]http://your-images.org/pics/0be9e93fa7114c9bdd4b6082395b0db9.PNG[/IMG] has something poetic about it. Likey!
fucking hell, you sick retard. Go follow your own instructions.
How do you know it's painless when you never tried or ever heard someone about it who died in that way ?
And I have to say this thread is pretty sick in many ways :vomit:
[QUOTE=jewdozer]Six weeks work and about 20 flamewars later we produced this guide above. MSpaint doesn't have the tricks that other prog's do so what you see is partly retarded pictures for fun but also some well drawn art that has come from much time and hard work.[/QUOTE]
MSpaint is a rather nice tool to create stuff.
I use it often to create shit.
Wow. Just wow.
This is so utterly insane and fucking disturbing.
[B]I LOVE IT![/B]
I really do - it's amazingly done. It takes a mastermind to create such an ill guide.
Great job.
Boring, actually.
I didn't find it very funny either, and also that first picture is an MSpaint remake of a Threadless.com shirt design.
These are..very disturbing.
this shit is so ridiculous.
Makes me laugh and feel sick at the same time.
Highly disturbing, but otherwise I like it.
Bwahahaha, brilliant. And maybe useful in the coming months (?)
[QUOTE=meazum]Boring, actually.
I didn't find it very funny either, and also that first picture is an MSpaint remake of a Threadless.com shirt design.[/QUOTE]
Well spotted on the tshirt pic. The image was used on threadless but was originally done by Jason Byron Nelson who still has his own site somewhere. I own the t-shirt and also drew the image. It didn't appear first on threadless either as a t-shirt, a company called north dragon were the first to buy the rights to reprint it.
Despite your feedback being negative its welcomed and still something that drives us to make more. If it's that boring I doubt you would have posted, if it really was, what made us so worthy of your post?
