Link: [URL]http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/dp/B000796XXM[/URL]
[IMG]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41KH6M0LWJL.jpg[/IMG]
:wtc:
And all the reviews are like
[quote]It's been almost 100 days since I "disposed" of the Uranium Ore I purchased from Amazon.com. Seeing as how they sent me 10 orders instead of 1 I thought it would be alright to dispose of the two or three cans in the backyard. 91 days later and I'm barricaded in my house, beseiged by mutated grasshoppers, bees, wasps, and ants the size of ponies. My food stores are dwindling; I only have a few gallons of [URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_asin_lnk"]Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz[/URL] left, though a spritz of Uranium Ore has kept it fresh all this time. I'm down to my last box of [URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00012182G/ref=cm_cr_asin_lnk"]Fresh Whole Rabbit[/URL] as well. Even though I had to kill them (again), some of the Uranium Ore I used on the [URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_asin_lnk"]Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz[/URL] has also helped them stay fresh during these past few months.
I'm not sure how much longer I can last here, the noises coming through the walls is constant, day and night. The scratching and scraping, the buzzing and chirping these mutated monsters make around the clock is, I fear, driving me inexorably further to the brink of insanity. I know that soon, I'll take my chances outside the door of my home and fight for survival in a world gone mad; but with my newly grown wings and the lobster-claw appendages that have sprouted from my back, I might just have a chance after all...
***5 stars, I mean come on, this stuff gave me wings and arms with lobster claws on them coming out of my back, how bitchin' is that???[/quote][quote]We ordered this after reading the recommendation by A. Chalabi ("BEST YELLOW CAKE, A+++ WOULD DO BUSINESS WITH ANYTIME!!!"),
It arrived promptly, although the rest of the experience was a disappointment.
First, the picture is misleading - although we were impressed by the nice metal baking dish and tight fitting lid, the diameter is only about ~4 inches across. This really was much smaller than we were expecting for the number of guests we were planning to serve.
The next problem was that despite the nice container, the cake inside was dry and rock hard, with a lot of crumbs.
This could have been a major disaster as we live far from town and did not have enough time to get another cake before the relatives arrived. We managed to take the contents of the tin and with some extra frosting managed to make a passable birthday cake.
It's been a few months but I'm just now getting around to writing this review since we've had some sudden and unusual family health issues.
As soon as I finish this next round of chemotherapy, I'm going to ask Amazon for a refund.
We won't be buying this again!
We did, however, have a better experience with
[URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_asin_lnk"]Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz[/URL] [/quote][quote]Since buying this product from Amazon I am now invincible at croquet and can sing all of Andy Williams' songs (since 1974) at the same time. What's more, I'm able to change night into day with a small shake of my mandibles, and have just worked out how to make cheese on toast levitate. I would write more, but I'm needed in the ionosphere. [/quote][quote]I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.[/quote][quote]Sent this as a Hanukkah gift to President Ahmadinejad. Got a thank you card back saying he loved it and I was his favorite infidel. Kudos to Amazon for a great product and fast shipping to Tehran.[/quote][quote]I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.
Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.
The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker. [/quote]also, take a look at "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed" and then the top 2 quotes I posted becomes funny
Product information:
[sp]Radioactive sample of uranium ore. Useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample sizes vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only. [/sp]
Dude, you are so late.
[QUOTE=Playguy;25268258]Dude, you are so late.[/QUOTE]
Who cares, it's still funny to read.
This is quite old but the reviews are still very funny
There was another thing with funny reviews, I believe the title was to do with strawberries and boobs... and how they got there.. or something along those lines
[editline]04:52PM[/editline]
O-hey here it is!
[url]http://www.amazon.com/What-These-Strawberries-Doing-Nipples/dp/0316910503/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top[/url]
[quote=F bomber *****]
First, I have to admit that I did not buy this book at Amazon. Instead, I found a well-read copy jammed next to my seat on a Greyhound bus. I was broke, having spent my last $[...] on a one-way ticket from Phoenix to someplace better. Any place better. My ticket said Seattle, But I never wanted to go to Seattle. The truth is, I wanted to go to San Francisco, but I was afraid to say it. I was worried that the old man behind the glass would think I was a fag if I bought a ticket there. So I just said the name of the closest city I could think of.
So anyway, the book. I found it as soon as I sat down on the bus. The bright red cover, showing a buxom blonde leaning submissively forward, revealing cleavage a guy could fall into, really caught my attention. I held the book, thinking how lucky I was to have found something to read as we crossed the desert. And then, a moment later, I just felt dirty. I mean, this was somebody else's book, and just keeping it for myself felt like stealing. I checked with the bus driver to make sure I had time, and I took the book to the ticketing desk to see if anyone had reported it missing.
"Excuse me," I said through the small hole in the bullet resistant glass. "Did anyone lose a book called 'What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples: I Need Them for the Fruit Salad!'?"
The lady behind the counter picked up the phone.
"I found this book in my seat," I said, pressing the cover to the glass. "I think somebody might have lost it. Maybe it's important to them."
I watched her glazed, half-lidded eyes scan the cover. First she looked at the cleavage, and the title, and then back at the cleavage.
She dialed the phone, and talked quietly into the mouthpiece. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she had to repeat the name of the book twice.
"Somebody will be right with you," she said.
Great, I thought. I was glad I hadn't kept it and had decided to do the right thing. I felt like I'd just put some Karma in the bank, and didn't need it back right away. It was a good feeling.
"Is that your book, sir?" said a baritone voice behind me. I turned to see three security guards. Two of them were huge, with shaved heads and bulging biceps, barely restrained by their too-tight uniforms. The other was a lanky guy with a big beer belly, whose uniform must have been borrowed from one of the other two. The name tag of the guard addressing me read 'Bubba.'
"No," I said, holding the book so they could see the cover. "I found this on the bus and wanted to see if anybody had reported it missing."
"Is that pornography, sir?" Said Bubba, eying the cover.
"That better had not be pornography," said the other burly cop, whose name tag also said 'Bubba.'
"I don't know what it is," I said. "It's called 'What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples: I Need Them for the Fruit Salad!'"
"Sir!" said the first Bubba. "Do not swear. If you swear again, I will arrest you!"
"I didn't swear," I said. "I just read the title of this book. See? The word 'Nipple' is right there...."
This was my first experience being tased. Every muscle in my body tensed and vibrated in unison. I could hear my own voice, but I couldn't control it. It was detached, but I could tell I was screaming. I slowly became aware that somebody else was screaming, too. In fact, a lot of people were yelling things. As I regained my senses, I noticed a couple of people were filming with their camera phones.
"Jesus, Bubba!" I heard someone say. "Put that taser away! This is the third time today!" It was the lanky guy, who was apparently Bubba's supervisor.
"I didn't do nothin!" said the other Bubba.
"Not you, idiot." Said the supervisor.
"What did I do?" I pleaded. "I just wanted to return a lost book! It's called 'What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples: I Need Them for the Fruit Salad!'"
Bubba tased me again.
"Bubba!" Yelled the supervisor. "Knock it off!"
Bubba released the trigger. I was on the floor, and my body felt strangely relaxed, but only compared to the seizure I'd just experienced. Relaxed or not, my entire being hurt. I noticed Bubba was getting his hand-cuffs out.
Long story short, I never got on the bus. I was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and interfering with interstate commerce. I'm currently half-way through a nine month sentence, wearing pink underwear, picking up trash on Arizona roads.
The book 'What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples: I Need Them for the Fruit Salad!' is in an evidence locker somewhere. I hope to read it some day. I wonder what it's about.[/quote]
D;
A bit late. The reveiws are funny as hell.
So, Minecraft got updated?
It's only 200 cpm, background radiation is 300 cpm if I remember correctly.
I think my picture is suitable here:
[img]http://i28.tinypic.com/24wzr84.jpg[/img]
Our clocks will blot out the sun! Then we will late rate in the shade!
A tasty snack, anytime
The most favorable review's title is: "[B]So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore."
[/B]Anyone gets the reference?
[QUOTE=gvirus;25270252]The most favorable review's title is: "[B]So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore."
[/B]Anyone gets the reference?[/QUOTE]
BTTF :buddy:
Not as funny as the reviews for BIC ballpoint pens.
[QUOTE=GranaMan;25269608]I think my picture is suitable here:
[img]http://i28.tinypic.com/24wzr84.jpg[/img]
Our clocks will blot out the sun! Then we will late rate in the shade![/QUOTE]
Hahaha brilliant.
[QUOTE=D4vils Buddy;25270280]BTTF :buddy:[/QUOTE]
An E-cookie for you!
And also this one: "[B]Every time I try to use this product, the Libyans show up and steal my Delorian.[/B]"
Let's all buy it and recreate the Chernobyl disaster! :drum:
Oh god, the BTTF references are awesome.
[B]When I finally finished and successfully tested my first plutonium powered Dolorean time machine, I was a bit miffed by the fact that I had to accelerate all the way up to 88 mph before the flux capacitor would be able to kick in and send me into the great beyond. This is quite a pain when you live in the city and have to drive all the way to places like closed shopping malls, drive-in theatres, abandoned highways, and rail road tracks to get up to that kind of speed. Once I heard that Amazon was finally selling U-238 legally, I quickly purchased some and used the instruction booklet (included at no extra charge) to enrich it and build myself a uranium powered reactor which I then installed in my time machine. On the first test run, the flux capacitor jumped into full gear at only 37 mph! Now I can go time travelling on my own street and not worry about the commute. [/B]
I know what I'm feeding my cat tonight. TIME TRAVEL PUSSY, ACTIVATE!
Weird I am watching Day After Disaster on the History Channel which is about nuclear bombing...
wow i can use this uranium to power my clocks
Uranium is pretty useless unless its refined.
[QUOTE]I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.[/QUOTE]
Haha, oh wow
[QUOTE]Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!
However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.
Big mistake!
Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!
Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.
And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..
I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=poopiecrap;25272241]Haha, oh wow[/QUOTE]
Dohohoho it's a half life joke :v:
The rabbit carcass comes with DRM protection :/
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
