• You thought Twilight was bad: Snooki of Jersey Shore fame releases first novel
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[url]http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2011/01/05/2011-01-05_nicole_snooki_polizzi_jersey_shore_star_talks_first_novel_a_shore_thing.html[/url] [release][img]http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2011/01/05/alg_snooki_tanning.jpg[/img] Gym, tan, laundry and, oh yeah, write a novel. Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi has added to "Jersey" lore with "A Shore Thing," a novel collaboration with writer Valerie Frankel, which hit bookstores Tuesda. The pint-size loudmouth - who, now that she’s an author, prefers to be called Nicole - tells the Daily News that "words can't even describe" what it means to her to have her book on stands. "I never knew I would write a book!" she gushes, perhaps echoing the sentiments of even the most devout Snooki lovers. "But I'm so happy I did." "Jersey Shore" viewers are, too. So many people were expected at her signing at the Grove in L.A. Tuesday night that fans were lining up for wristbands at 9 in the morning for the 7 p.m. event. "I'm very happy that a lot of people want to read it, and that people who have read it are impressed," says Polizzi, 24. "The people who aren't going to read it, the negative people, I'm sure if they DID read it, they'd think it was awesome." If you’re one of THOSE people, here's what you’re missing: "Pint-sized" Giovanna (Gia) Spumanti and her cousin, the taller and tougher Isabella (Bella) Rizzoli, spend an action-packed summer on the Jersey Shore. The two encounter gorillas ("big, ripped, tan" guys), make out ("Twenty minutes from club entry to hookup ... might be a record, even for Gia") and navigate fashion dilemmas ("If there was one rule about how to dress on the Jersey Shore: Less was more") throughout their summer in Seaside Heights. "Life was hard," the book begins. "But a pouf? That should be easy." Sound familiar? Although the story is "fiction," Snooki (sorry, Nicole) admits that it's based on her and her on- and off-screen BFF, Jenni (JWoww) Farley. "There was so much drama on the show, between the girl fights and the boys, that I had so many ideas to put in the book," says Polizzi. "I would make conference calls while we were taping and tell my managers what I wanted in the story." This spring, Nicole says she will be brainstorming her next work of fiction. "It's definitely one of my goals to write" a sequel, she says. She also promises that the rest of season two, which begins on MTV Thursday night, will feature some of the wildest episodes yet. That’s mostly thanks to new cast member Deena Nicole Cortese, who brawls with resident tough girl Sammi (Sweetheart) Giancola in the very first episode. "I just have so many ideas now!" Snooki says. The Marlboro, N.Y., native is making her way to NYC next week, where she will host a signing at Borders in Columbus Circle on Monday. "I am so excited to come to New York, to meet all my fans," she says, especially the "Guidos and Guidettes" to whom she dedicated her book. "Fist pump!" she yells.[/release] I'm Shore this book is going to suck.
Could she be anymore of a stereotype?
...who is her target audience? The group of people who are fond of her and the group of people who are literate, are two groups that don't have a great deal of members in common.
i hope this bitch gets all over cancer
Fuckwit 'celebrities' write crap books all the time, they sell well among orange people who don't like to think and nobody else really cares.
[QUOTE=GunFox;27230308]...who is her target audience? The group of people who are fond of her and the group of people who are literate, are two groups that don't have a great deal of members in common.[/QUOTE] I guess that some people will just buy it and not read it, since it's going to be "too boring"
I don't think she has the brain cells to write a book and the energy to make one because of all those handjobs she gave to the producers to get her on the show.
the more books she sells the more of a cum dumpster she is
:geno: Now I've seen everything.
[quote]The people who aren't going to read it, the negative people, I'm sure if they DID read it, they'd think it was awesome.[/quote] No, I don't think so.
What a great picture to use for the author of this shit book.
She's fat.
I honestly wasn't even aware she was literate. It never occurred to me.
[QUOTE=sloppy_joes;27230544]I honestly wasn't even aware she was literate. It never occurred to me.[/QUOTE] I'm going to call it. It's written entirely in textglish 'nd i ws lik OMG U BISH U DDNT JUST DO THAT OMFG I THGHT WE WER BFFS FFS OMG U WHORE'
Chapter 3: Smush smush
She can barely speak as it is, how the fuck is she going to master punctuation in a book? I bet it looks like an 8th grade essay.
[QUOTE=BANNED USER;27230698]She can barely speak as it is, how the fuck is she going to master punctuation in a book? I bet it looks like an 8th grade essay.[/QUOTE] Don't drag 8th graders through the mud.
She probably didn't even write most of it. Or if she did, it was heavily edited by the editor/publishers.
It's ghostwritten you morans. That's what it means by "collaboration with novelist."
I'm all against book burning, but this just throws the rules out of the window.
I don't know what you guys are getting so mad about. It looks like a top-notch book to me. :downs:
[quote]If you’re one of THOSE people, here's what you’re missing: "Pint-sized" Giovanna (Gia) Spumanti and her cousin, the taller and tougher Isabella (Bella) Rizzoli, spend an action-packed summer on the Jersey Shore. The two encounter gorillas ("big, ripped, tan" guys), make out ("Twenty minutes from club entry to hookup ... might be a record, even for Gia") and navigate fashion dilemmas ("If there was one rule about how to dress on the Jersey Shore: Less was more") throughout their summer in Seaside Heights.[/quote] Good to know we're not missing anything.
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;27231242]Good to know we're not missing anything.[/QUOTE] Ahaha, what a load of horse shit! :cawg:
i do have to say that twilight is still worse
Sparkling vampires will always be #1 on the most worst movie of all time. Even if it has awesome actors like Christian Bale, any sparkling vampire is a big flat out [B]NO![/B] from me.
She can write?
I'm surprised that she can read and write.
[QUOTE=gamefreek76;27233878]I'm surprised that she can read and write.[/QUOTE] I doubt she can do both.
I hope she gets fucking cancer.
What the fuck's a snooki?
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