• The Philosophers
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[i]The Philosophers[/i] is a comedy written in two acts about a philosophy major student named Fred. Fred comes home to his messy apartment one evening to discover three men dressed in togas making themselves quite comfortable in his one-room suite apartment. The three men reveal that they are the three famous Greek philosophers: Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates. At first Fred demands that they leave, and the three insist that he allow them to stay. They offer their wisdom in shedding light on the issues of Fred's life, which he denies even exist. However, Fred unintentionally reveals that he has a quite a few problems, and the four soon begin to delve into three broad topics concerning business, love, and life throughout the story. This, however, is not without its exploits and confusion, which eventually leads to Socrates being tied up, Fred being unknowingly put on a blind date with an incredibly hot girl he is strangely frightened of, and Aristotle attempting to woo the woman of Fred's dreams; all in the same apartment. This is something I've been working on for a week or so now, and I decided I liked the beginning of the first scene enough to post it here and see what anyone willing to read it thinks of it. This is, of course, a stage play and thus I intentionally leave some room in character dialogue/interaction for the director and the actors of any given production (Theoretically.) the freedom to decide how exactly they would like to perform a line or action, but still try to give enough direction so that the relationships and messages I want to convey are still relayed to the audience. My major concerns right now are the flow of the play's dialogue and the quality of the content of the dialogue, so be sure to look out for those especially while reading and be sure to give me your thoughts on what you think of those two major aspects. [release][b]The Philosophers[/b][/release] [b]Time:[/b] Now [b]Setting:[/b] Fred’s apartment [b]Characters (in order of appearance):[/b] Fred Aristotle Plato Socrates Victoria Cindy [b]Production Notes:[/b] Aristotle should always act pompously. Aristotle believes he is the star, and that all others are blessed to have his light shine on them. Plato should always act with general douchebaggery. Plato relishes in undermining Aristotle. This, however, does not stop the two from being “best bros,” and their cooperative buddy-antics will drive a great majority of the plot. Socrates should always be sincere, polite, and the nice guy who gets picked on. Socrates is the cute one we all love and they all hate for no apparent reason. These traits are integral to the plot. Fred is the most varied of the four, and can show the largest myriad of emotions. As for the appearance of the three philosophers, there is much room for creative freedom. The three do not need to appear old. The three can, in fact, look normal with the exception of their wearing of togas. However, they can be adorned with gray beards and wrinkles if the director so chooses. Both styles of presentation are humorous: Modernized appearances mesh well with modernized personalities (as the three are written to have), but the ironic contrast of having old men acting like petty, fighting children is also rather hilarious. Because of this, this presentational choice is left to the director. My only request is that the three are not hindered by their old age (if the director decides that they are old), and can move around freely, just like children. This is important, because the three are exceptionally physically active. Especially Plato and Aristotle. [i]Especially.[/i] [b]Act I, Scene I:[/b] [i]* Lights onstage are out as the curtain opens. On SR there is a door that acts as the entrance and exit to the apartment. Downstage of this is a small, empty table. Upstage of the door on the back wall lies a bathroom. USC, next to the bathroom, is a kitchenette separated by a half-wall countertop. The kitchenette’s entrance is on the SL side, next to the bathroom. The kitchenette is adorned with pots and pans hanging against the back wall. Against the SR wall there is a functioning Murphy bed (a pull-down bed against the wall) and a bureau upstage of that, which is home to a wireless telephone and assorted magazines. Downstage of the bed on SR is a closet. Slightly left of center stage lies a sofa and a coffee table in front of that. Both are angled slightly towards DSR. The apartment is a scene of disaster: Clothes are strewn about, rubbish and wasted papers are cluttered on the floor, and the place is in general disarray. As the lights slowly come up to a dim to reveal this, the SR door opens to permit FRED, a man in his early 20s. FRED is wearing formal attire: Tie, button-up collared shirt, pants, shoes, a heavy coat and scarf (which indicate that it is cold outside). FRED carries a stack of mail in his hands and a messenger bag on his shoulder. FRED shuts the door, and then turns around to flick the lights on. Lights onstage come all the way up to reveal three men, ARISTOTLE, PLATO, and SOCRATES, dressed in togas. ARISTOTLE is lounging on the sofa, feet kicked up on the coffee table. PLATO is lying on the Murphy bed, reading Psychology Today. SOCRATES is in the kitchenette, obsessively arranging the pots and pans on the wall. FRED is in shock. After a long silence... *[/i] [b]FRED:[/b] Who the hell are you people? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] [i](Without looking at him.)[/i] Guys, Fred’s home! [b]PLATO:[/b] What up, Fred? [i](Continues to flick through his magazine.)[/i] [b]SOCRATES:[/b] Hi, Fred. [b]FRED:[/b] I don’t know who you people are, but get out of my house before I call the cops. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] There’s no need to be so hasty, Fred. We don’t mean you any harm. [b]FRED:[/b] Then get the hell out of my place! [b]PLATO:[/b] No need to be such a dick, bro. [b]FRED:[/b] This is my apartment; I can be as much of a dick as I want to be! [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] That’s no way to treat your guests. Didn’t your mother ever teach you proper etiquette? [b]FRED: [/b]Who are you people?! [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] [i](Exuberant.)[/i] Aristotle! [b]PLATO:[/b] [i](Chiming in.)[/i] Plato! [b]SOCRATES:[/b] [i](Quietly.)[/i] Socrates. [b]FRED: [/b]Seriously, who are you guys? And why are you dressed in togas? There aren’t any frats around here. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] We already told you who we are. [b]FRED:[/b] If you’re Aristotle, he’s Plato, and he’s Socrates, then I must be Elvis Presley. [b]PLATO:[/b] You’re not Elvis. Elvis has a gig this week, he’s in Reno. [b]FRED: [/b]Elvis died in 1977. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] And according to the majority of the population’s understanding, Socrates here was executed in 399 BC. [b]SOCRATES: [/b]Well, I mean, you can’t really blame them for just believing what they’re told. It’s not their fault. No one errs or does wrong willingly, you know. [b]PLATO: [/b]Is that so, Socrates? Well, then, that means it’s not my fault I slept with YOUR MOM! Air five! [i]* ARISTOTLE and PLATO air five casually from their places at the sofa and bed. *[/i] [b]SOCRATES: [/b][i](Apologetic, as if it were his fault.)[/i] No offense taken, don’t worry Plato. [b]FRED: [/b]What the hell is going on? [b]ARISTOTLE: [/b]You see, Fred, we’re here to help you. [b]FRED:[/b] Help me with what? [b]PLATO:[/b] You’re a real fuck-up, man. [b]SOCRATES:[/b] I don’t think you’re a... bad person, Fred. [b]FRED:[/b] Look, I don’t need your help. What I need is for you to get out of my apartment. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] I’m afraid we can’t do that. [b]FRED: [/b]Why not? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] Because we’re bound by our honor to help you. [b]PLATO:[/b] What he means by that is we’ve got nowhere to go so we decided to crash here and now we’re offering to help you so we don’t feel bad about ourselves. [b]SOCRATES:[/b] Yeah, we’ve really got nowhere to go. I told them it was a bad idea but— [b]PLATO/ARISTOTLE:[/b] SHUT UP, SOCRATES! [b]SOCRATES:[/b] Sorry... [b]FRED:[/b] And what made you think that staying here was permissible in the first place? And why me? And who are you guys? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] Well, we figured you would be much more hospitable when we looked you up. So we just figured it would be alright to hang out here until you showed up. [b]PLATO:[/b] And we already told you who we are. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] [i](Exuberant.)[/i] Aristotle! [b]PLATO:[/b] [i](Chiming in.)[/i] Plato! [b]SOCRATES:[/b] [i](Quietly.)[/i] Socrates. [b]FRED:[/b] Are you some kind of neo-classical Blue Man Group? This is absurd. Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates have been dead for over 2,000 years. [b]PLATO:[/b] [i](Sarcastically.)[/i] Oh yeah, and Elvis died on the toilet in 1977. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] [i](Joining in, laughingly.)[/i] And George Harrison died of cancer in 2001. [b]FRED:[/b] This remedial and slightly macabre history lesson means nothing to me. [b]PLATO:[/b] Hey wait, aren’t they working on a new concept album together? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] Who? Elvis and George? Yeah, I think it’s due out next month. [i](To FRED.)[/i] You should check that out. [b]PLATO:[/b] It’s gonna be LEGENDARY! [i]* ARISTOTLE and PLATO air five casually from their places at the sofa and bed without looking at each other. *[/i] [b]FRED:[/b] [i](Confused, trying to redirect the conversation.)[/i] What is going on? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] We needed a place to stay. You’re a philosophy major, we only assumed you would be more than happy to house me: [i](Dramatic pause. ARISTOTLE stands. Spoken with great confidence.)[/i] The greatest philosopher of all time!. . . [i](Practically an aside.)[/i] And my two friends. [b]PLATO:[/b] Everything just has to revolve around you, doesn’t it? [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] Of course. That’s how the universe works. [b]PLATO:[/b] Yeah, that’s what you said about the Earth. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] [i](Visibly bitter.)[/i] Why everyone believes that Galileo idiot is beyond me! The Earth is undeniably the center of everything, just like I’m the center of everything. [b]PLATO:[/b] By the transitive property of equality, that makes you an insignificant rock floating in a vacuum of emptiness. [b]ARISTOTLE:[/b] Shut the hell up, Plato. --- --- So that's essentially all I have so far. Like I said, let me know what you think: How the dialogue flows, the quality of the dialogue, and just in general what you like or what should be improved. I'll try to update as I can. I really hope you guys enjoyed it.
i like it.
[QUOTE=Kybalt;33993285]i like it.[/QUOTE] Anything in particular that you liked or would have changed?
I'd like to bump this to see if I can get any more criticism, because one reply is pretty weak.
i thought it was well written and funny at the same time.. Nice. Im not really a writer myself so giving critique is kind of hard, but as a whole its really good !
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