[img]http://images.smh.com.au/2013/01/29/3990309/mokhtararticle-620x349.jpg[/img]
[url]http://www.smh.com.au/world/alqaeda-forms-complaints-department-20130604-2nmxf.html[/url]
[quote]
First it was bureaucratic requests for paperwork to be completed correctly, now Al-Qaeda has created a complaints department.
In an apparent move to demonstrate how it is willing to participate in free government, the militant group has announced its headquarters in north-eastern Syria will be open for business to anyone who has a complaint.
[B]"Any one who might have a complaint against any element of the Islamic state, whether the Emir or an ordinary soldier, can come and submit their complaint in any headquarters building of the Islamic state," the notice said, according to the [I]Telegraph[/I].
[/B]
[B]The report added that Al-Qaeda has promised to "ensure accountability for anyone committing violations" and those responsible would be sent to court.[/B]
[/quote]
Ok, now they're just trying too hard.
What would be considered a violation? Do they mean violation of Sharia law?
Better call Saul!
If I may be [I]really, [B]really[/B][/I] optimistic for a moment; this could suggest a shift toward actually abiding by the Koran as it was meant to be.
If they're really looking for complaints in regards to their actions, that at least indicates they're aware of their members being, for want of a better word, assholes and that they want to fix it.
All that said, this is probably just something that'll be used to weed out those that are against them.
If you complain about something they kill you on the spot.
[img]http://puu.sh/5q4Ki.png[/img]
I am reminded of The Lorax
Submit complaint, recieve beheading.
And here I thought someone had used The Onion as a source again.
i'd like to complain about the whole western world, thanks
To submit a complaint, you slide a note into a complaint box.
The complaint box slot has a mechanism that triggers a shotgun in the ceiling whenever something slides through it.
Wow, who knew they would follow the westerners and start a Humans Resource department.
Also, most HRs are shit, hopefully they do a better job.
Woah somebody better go complain about this!
something about his face looks really off
It sounds silly but this is partly why they are winning over regular rebels in Syria.
These guys actually try and set up and consolidate infrastructure and government while some regular rebels will push out SAA and then be like "well...what now". They provide electricity, food, running water, and much more.
They learned from their mistakes in Iraq by destroying everything and making the civilians hate them. They are trying to be "nice" this time around. Just put a Sharia spin on nice.
They are trying to set up an Islamic state.
[QUOTE=Rofl_copter;42949287]something about his face looks really off[/QUOTE]
One of is eye is not an eye alright.
Makes me think it'll be something like this:
[img]http://sgtgrit-zerolag.netdna-ssl.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/370x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/C/D/CD2.jpg[/img]
Finally. I know there is a policy about not taking someone else's food out of the employee microwave but Osama's casserole has been in there for two and a half years now. I don't think he's coming back for it.
Would be funny if the guy that everyone thought to be even more batshit than Osama turns out to be the guy that starts turning Al-Qaeda to peace.
"Man, these drones fucking [I]suck[/I]!"
"not enough fireworks or cool colors in your explosions."
[QUOTE=Maegord;42948689]And here I thought someone had used The Onion as a source again.[/QUOTE]
we've actually crossed the divergence point where the onion is the fake news from a saner world
[I]"Any complaints submitted by a US IP Address will quickly be noted for future 'research and development' said Muhammad from the Al Qaeda Support Line."[/I]
"Have you tried turning the IED off and on again sir?"
The elevator is broken!
explosions too loud
[QUOTE=Dr.C;42950842]explosions too loud[/QUOTE]
Explosions keep wrecking my garden. Moles are dead tho so... Yeah.
Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Ahmad.
Everyone has called me "Duane" all day, I think Ahmad paid them to.
This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Ahmad tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer.
Ahmad said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room; when I went to save the child I saw Meredith on the can.
"Just a minor nitpick here, but could we do something about the whole '72 virgins' thing? I want to enjoy my afterlife, and just don't have the patience to train 72 virgins. Is there any way I could get 72 seasoned, experienced whores?
Hell, I'd settle for 20. I'm not greedy."
[QUOTE=NuclearJesus;42952204]"Just a minor nitpick here, but could we do something about the whole '72 virgins' thing? I want to enjoy my afterlife, and just don't have the patience to train 72 virgins. Is there any way I could get 72 seasoned, experienced whores?
Hell, I'd settle for 20. I'm not greedy."[/QUOTE]
Who said anything about the virgins being female anyway?!
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