[U]i got quite bored and hyper speed typed this. its got pretty good detail, but not my actual level of structure. unless i expand on it. what do ya think?[/U]
and as unassuming as he may have seemed, but an utterance from him could have rent entire nations asunder. by his own modesty, he clad in but cloth, albeit alight with inner essence. He, as to walk amongst who would not grasp his being, took the form of a nameless traveler. the only feature marking him as anything other than walking robes, were a cascading of white locks, cloaking his face save his eyes, in snow colored hair. he seemed nothing more than a wizened old hermit to most, but to those with a trained eye, or those who themselves were of his kind, knew his true form. with him, and on him, he carried a contridicting stave, that as he was humble, and draped in dull blue hewn robes, it was of pure oak, inlaid with mystic energies of his own craft. it gnarled, as if it had been carved directly from the pitch of the tree. at its end, was a crystal encased in bark, of doubtless unkown power. At his hip, buckled in leather, was a small tome. it clinged to his every stride, as if it were actively keeping to its master. what was held within its pages, of course is unkown, and likely could not be grasped by mortal minds regardless. At his right, secrued to the same leather, was a sheathe that extended to the length of his knee, held inside was at first glance, an old rusted and unkept blade. its long edge and forte was pitted and awash with dust. Yet, it gave an unearthly shimmer that shaped and contorted the air around it, as if it were exuding scalding steam. its crossguard and langet were simple, inlaid and strapped in leather, ending in a modest steel pommel. Though through the age of this blade, were also the unmistakable markings of runes and carvings, that marked as an enchanted and mystic weapon, no doubt its master had bolstered it with some vast unkown energy.
Maybe you should have posted this in the "Creative Work That Doesn't Need Its Own Thread".
[QUOTE=Pvt. Martin;38743142]Maybe you should have posted this in the "Creative Work That Doesn't Need Its Own Thread".[/QUOTE]
i posted a 3d shortfilm in there once, it got buried within seconds. but i see what ya mean
I recognise the writing, you're the guy who posted that other ridiculous poem thing with all the silly commas aren't you :v:
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;38747418]I recognise the writing, you're the guy who posted that other ridiculous poem thing with all the silly commas aren't you :v:[/QUOTE]
to this day, i have not figured out a way to write without an army of commas.
I will say that while the last one was truly truly awful, there is a glimmer of something actually concrete in this one, but it's just buried deep down in bizarre over-the-top staggered prose.
Have you tried READING it? Like, out loud?
It's like reading a two telegrams randomly spliced together
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;38749398]I will say that while the last one was truly truly awful, there is a glimmer of something actually concrete in this one, but it's just buried deep down in bizarre over-the-top staggered prose.
Have you tried READING it? Like, out loud?
It's like reading a two telegrams randomly spliced together[/QUOTE]
i was once told everything i wrote sounds as if it had been badly translated from another language. in my need to get details across, i would think.
Probably more from the bad grammar.
[QUOTE=noved1;38749831]i was once told everything i wrote sounds as if it had been badly translated from another language. in my need to get details across, i would think.[/QUOTE]
That is also a simile that came to my mind
[editline]8th December 2012[/editline]
And yeah you don't need more wacky details you need to learn how to build a sentence in english :v:
1.Writers who write for other writers should write letters.
2.Never be embarrassed or ashamed about anything you choose to write. (Think of this before you send it to a market.)
3.Stories to end all stories on a given topic, don't.
4.It is a sin to waste the reader's time.
5.If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.
6.Everybody talks first draft.
nivens laws. they make me feel slightly better.
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