Im starting to get a little bit worried of my mother. I dont visit her that often but when I do, she is usually feeding birds on her backyard and calling them with names like "hunny bunny" or "muffin". You know, crazy talk.
Lately there has been a growing number of birds on her yard and the birds are getting very violent. Like when Im cutting the grass for her, those damn birds would just attack me for no particular reason. Then my mother starts to yell at me for scaring the birds away. What. The. Fuck.
It wouldnt bother me at all, but the neighbours are getting pissed because those damn birds are shitting everywhere and my mother´s house is starting to smell like... well... bird shit.
There is a tiny pond near her house and this bird thing started from feeding the ducks. After a year the damn ducks were already walking and shitting on her lawn. Then came the seagulls and other smaller birds.
Dear Facepunch. How can my mother get rid of those birds? It seems like they are here to stay. I cant bring my kids to see their grandmother because its not healthy for two small boys to walk and play in bird shit.
[img]http://animal.discovery.com/birds/duck/pictures/duck-picture.jpg[/img]
EDIT:
Noticed that the title actually rhymes
feed them rice?
Sounds like she's one of those delusional cat ladies (except with birds). Can't you call some sort of animal control agency and get them to relocate the birds?
ask Batmoutarde
Same thing with my mom, first ducks, then seagulls, swans and other birds.
[QUOTE=LATTEH;29486142]feed them rice?[/QUOTE]
She wants a peaceful solution. Exploding birds on her backyard would probably destroy her mentally
Tell her there's a new Bird Flu.
[QUOTE=LATTEH;29486142]feed them rice?[/QUOTE]
That's just cruel.
You're not going to get rid of the birds unless she stops feeding them. After a while they'll stop checking because they can't afford to waste time going to places without food or they'll be tired before they have enough to eat/feed their babies.
Chase them while blasting an air horn
[QUOTE=cheesedelux;29486173]That's just cruel.[/QUOTE]
Isn't it just a myth?
You should get your mother sectioned.
Interesting problem.
To solve it, you must acquire the bird's biggest fear. For this, you must figure out what wild Pidgey is afraid of. Pokemon red, blue, yellow etc are good places to start. When this is done, venture to the nearest forest, and start throwing balls.
Get yourself a golem.
Hunny bunny?
[img]http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsP/13923-15365.gif[/img]
Obviously the birds want to eat your soul and give u bird flu
[QUOTE=geoface;29486226]
Obviously the birds want to eat your soul and give u bird flu[/QUOTE]
Well sometimes it feels like those birds came from the deepest pits of hell
Maybe I should buy her a cat?
[QUOTE=Dr. Strangelove;29486279]Well sometimes it feels like those birds came from the deepest pits of hell
Maybe I should buy her a cat?[/QUOTE]
cats = mice, u need a fuckin eagle for this shit
[QUOTE=geoface;29486355]cats = mice, u need a fuckin eagle for this shit[/QUOTE]
I believe the eagle would just screw us and leave
[QUOTE=LATTEH;29486142]feed them rice?[/QUOTE]
Woah, what happens when birds eat rice?
[QUOTE=Aerkhan;29486424]Woah, what happens when birds eat rice?[/QUOTE]
they explode into puffs of shit
I think they got tired of their husbands cock.
Your mother is also a Neufex lover.
OP, your avatar does not really help your situation.
Show pictures of birds with arms to her.
get her fucking sectioned shes talking to pigeons like theyve been happily married for 50 years wtf
Did her husband recently divorce/die/separate? If so, maybe she's finding solace and companionship in these birds.
[QUOTE=Dr. Strangelove;29486120]Noticed that the title actually rhymes[/QUOTE]
Not really, unless you're one of those people that pronounces a 'th' sound as a v.
Give the seagulls an Alka Seltzer sandwich and De-Con to the rest. Fireworks also work really well.
[QUOTE=cheetahben;29486785]Did her husband recently divorce/die/separate? If so, maybe she's finding solace and companionship in these birds.[/QUOTE]
Now that you mentioned. She had a relationship with a younger guy who then left.
[QUOTE=TheGronk;29486621]OP, your avatar does not really help your situation.[/QUOTE]
Holy crap :V
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
