[i]Then i woke up.
My thoughts were messed up and diffuse, heated. The night crushed my will.... it was a bad nightmare.
Filled with cheap carnival puppets, and fake-dead bars with depressed blue prostitutes, ugly as never before...although after all, they were part from my own mind.
In one of those bars, i met this disgusting bug, who was drinking his own weight, quietly, but angry. Took a look at me and ran away, leaking his shame all over the place.
I followed it untill my legs were not there anymore, just pain with flesh. It took me to this old abandoned house, with old woods and old soul, falling apart with independence.
A wet rotten metal smell came from the arquitecture, and the dirty ponds that came with it reflected its simplicity with brownish tones.
I finally realized that the insect was not there anymore, foreign in my night fantasies, but the shine of its silk could not hide on all that darkness.
Followed its path to a lonely door. I was not able to cross it, my own body treated me like a stranger of my creation, but i still saw what was inside of it.
It was me, or at least "me" all over the place, different sides of me for literally every room that the trash house had.
I saw it, saw my dad cheating on my mom, i saw me at my childhood, lonely and depressed, screaming for a hand to hold, dying for another soul to be with.
The silk started to rott, and the smell did not made justice to the beauty of it, collapsing my senses and making me sick. I noticed it was growing inside me.
I saw my mothers death, again. Saw my very first dreams that died while i was too busy thinking about it.
And then, when time was no matter, i met my dead side, the being in my brain that made all my suffering possible, the person that had all the fault.
As an animal, as a very ancient instinct, deep down my veins, i started to choke him, like a paraside, like the fly that annoys you asking furiously to get smashed and asking you for help.
The neck in my hands felt so good,felt so right, felt like saving a million lives. It fell down, like the bag of nothing that it was and his expression got deadly anguish through the whole experience. I knew why.
Then i woke up.
I feel sorry for myself, and scared for the things i could do... what i would do to keep me safe from the horrors that i have seen, that i went through.
I was about to get up when i noticed something on my pillow. My body froze and the cold sweat went down my forehead. I touched it, but i couldnt figured out what it was.
Tried to take it out and felt a little tickle in my ear. My eyes opened wide, as i was now trying to get the cord out of my ear.
As softly as i could, the cord was getting out, and something...something was inside my head. Couldnt take it anymore, i had to do it fast, or i would pass out.
So i did it, the blood painted my pillow and my vision went blurry, at the end, i felt no fear, no repugnance, no stress, just curiosity.
Hanging from the shiny cord, what it seemed like and what i didnt what it to be. A little dying worm was trying to inside me, with beautiful fresh silk coming out of its tail[/i]
[thumb]http://i895.photobucket.com/albums/ac158/falcont2t/strange_zps08c76fb3.jpg[/thumb]
Sorry for any mistakes that i made, i had to write it in english for the first time. Its just a little story that i dreamed 2 days ago and wanted to share with you guys.
I love Beksinski
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