• Unofficial script; Sam & Max: Cold blooded Merlin!
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After recently getting into the Sam & Max franchise, and deciding to buy the complete series the point-and-click episodes, I thought it would be fun to write a up little script which tries to follow the humuor of the video games, where as the graphics of the comic i'll be making it into will instead follow that of the original comics. So, here it is: Sam and Max: Cold-blooded Merlin. SAM: "Y'know, you really should try your hand at feeding the fish a little bit more, Sam! His stomach is so empty and full of air that he's gained the ability to float on water!" MAX: "Well that doesn't sound right there, little buddy. Are you sure he isn't dead?" SAM: "Nah, he couldn't be. We haven't recieved the threatening calls we usually get from the court of law whenever we try to starve our rather un-humbled house guests!" MAX: "That reminds me, thanks for almost causing the Supreme court to spawn an international incident last month, Max!" MAX? "Was it really that long ago? Oh, how life passes you by when you're suffocating your estranged victims from all their essential means of basic survival..." SAM: "Y'know, we are supposed to be Freelance police... Don't you find that a little bit harsh and unjust?" MAX: "Nah, I'm just messing with ya', Sam! The guy was perfectly well alive when I buried him in his incumbent tomb!" SAM: "Ah, good. It's nice to know you're starting to follow basic geneva conventions, Max!" The telephone blares suddenly, causing all loose objects to tumble on onto their side. Max notices the office dart board fall from the string from which it was hung, causing the darts that were plunged into it to scatter all over. SAM: "Huh, I knew that game of office darts was never destined to get finished. Looks like we'll have to start over to even the 6-1 score!" MAX: "Hello? Sam & max, freelance Police." SAM: "Hey, no fair! Pointlessly observing that act of unrealstic gravity has robbed me of my chance to tumble over to the phone to try and grab it before you do in an undenyably goofy fashion! I want a do over!" MAX "Shssh Max, It's the commissioner talking!" COMMISSIONER: "..." SAM: "Holy holes in the turban of an Ayatola singing the American national anthen during a church sermon on sunday! The dead are grasping tightly back onto life before claiming the purged lives of the already living?" COMM.: "..." SAM: "Oh, sorry Cheif. I didn't realise that I blaringly repeat people's sentences back to them after receiving shocking news." MAX: "Last time that happened, I was the one who got to clean up the mess he made!" SAM: "Sorry again cheif. But you can bet your sweet Bus pass that we'll get right on it!" Sam bashes the phone down to the receiver in an urgent manner. The pair quickly avert their attention back to the goldfish, who is violentley bashing his head on the side of the glass. Sam and Max flinch before seeing the goldfish shatter it's bowl toward them. MAX: "Huh, turns out he wasn't actually dead like you told me, Sam! You owe me for the crushing grievance that struck me after hearing about the unfostered death of Mr. Spatula!" Mr. Spatula hops out of a puddle of salt water menacingly toward Sam, letting out a rabid growl of blinding and unwavering Goldfish rage. SAM: "He looked pretty dead to me! And I'll bet our beloved office and home that this new and blatantly supicious case has got something to do with this!" MAX: "It's covenient that you decided to frantically yell out the Commisioner's call word-for-word, or else I wouldn't have gotten what your well posed accusation was pointed at." SAM: "Didn't I already satirise that aspect of my unbridled and panicky behaviour, Max?" MAX: "I just really wanted to drive that point home, Sam. Your unpredictabley shocking outbursts really embarass me!" SAM: "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." (CU of SAM) SAM: "Enough talk, Max! It's time to figure out the cause of these civillian deaths and simultaneous re-animations so we can get to the bottom of this whole Fiasco!" MAX: "Oh, boy! Deaths and the Zombie Plauge both on the same day! I'd submit them as being my 2 favourite things in life if those postitions weren't taken up by my unrequited love of [CENSORED]ing and [CENSORED] with [CENSORED]a[CENSORED] on top of their earthly remains!" SAM: "Oh, you crack me up little buddy." MAX: "To the DeSoto!"
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