Unofficial script; Sam & Max: Cold blooded Merlin!
0 replies, posted
After recently getting into the Sam & Max franchise, and deciding to buy the complete series the point-and-click episodes, I thought it would be fun to write a up little script which tries to follow the humuor of the video games, where as the graphics of the comic i'll be making it into will instead follow that of the original comics.
So, here it is:
Sam and Max: Cold-blooded Merlin.
SAM:
"Y'know, you really should try your hand at feeding the fish a little bit more, Sam!
His stomach is so empty and full of air that he's gained the ability to float on water!"
MAX:
"Well that doesn't sound right there, little buddy. Are you sure he isn't dead?"
SAM:
"Nah, he couldn't be. We haven't recieved the threatening calls we
usually get from the court of law whenever we try to starve our rather
un-humbled house guests!"
MAX:
"That reminds me, thanks for almost causing the Supreme court to spawn an
international incident last month, Max!"
MAX?
"Was it really that long ago? Oh, how life passes you by when you're suffocating
your estranged victims from all their essential means of basic survival..."
SAM:
"Y'know, we are supposed to be Freelance police... Don't you find that a little
bit harsh and unjust?"
MAX:
"Nah, I'm just messing with ya', Sam! The guy was perfectly well alive when I buried
him in his incumbent tomb!"
SAM:
"Ah, good. It's nice to know you're starting to follow basic geneva conventions, Max!"
The telephone blares suddenly, causing all loose objects to tumble on onto their side.
Max notices the office dart board fall from the string from which it was hung,
causing the darts that were plunged into it to scatter all over.
SAM:
"Huh, I knew that game of office darts was never destined to get finished. Looks
like we'll have to start over to even the 6-1 score!"
MAX:
"Hello? Sam & max, freelance Police."
SAM:
"Hey, no fair! Pointlessly observing that act of unrealstic gravity has robbed
me of my chance to tumble over to the phone to try and grab it before you do
in an undenyably goofy fashion! I want a do over!"
MAX
"Shssh Max, It's the commissioner talking!"
COMMISSIONER:
"..."
SAM:
"Holy holes in the turban of an Ayatola singing the American national anthen
during a church sermon on sunday! The dead are grasping tightly back onto life
before claiming the purged lives of the already living?"
COMM.:
"..."
SAM:
"Oh, sorry Cheif. I didn't realise that I blaringly repeat people's sentences
back to them after receiving shocking news."
MAX:
"Last time that happened, I was the one who got to clean up the mess he made!"
SAM:
"Sorry again cheif. But you can bet your sweet Bus pass that we'll get
right on it!"
Sam bashes the phone down to the receiver in an urgent manner.
The pair quickly avert their attention back to the goldfish, who is violentley
bashing his head on the side of the glass. Sam and Max flinch before seeing
the goldfish shatter it's bowl toward them.
MAX:
"Huh, turns out he wasn't actually dead like you told me, Sam! You owe me for
the crushing grievance that struck me after hearing about the unfostered
death of Mr. Spatula!"
Mr. Spatula hops out of a puddle of salt water menacingly toward Sam,
letting out a rabid growl of blinding and unwavering Goldfish rage.
SAM:
"He looked pretty dead to me! And I'll bet our beloved office and home that
this new and blatantly supicious case has got something to do with this!"
MAX:
"It's covenient that you decided to frantically yell out the Commisioner's
call word-for-word, or else I wouldn't have gotten what your well posed
accusation was pointed at."
SAM:
"Didn't I already satirise that aspect of my unbridled and panicky
behaviour, Max?"
MAX:
"I just really wanted to drive that point home, Sam. Your unpredictabley
shocking outbursts really embarass me!"
SAM:
"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."
(CU of SAM)
SAM:
"Enough talk, Max! It's time to figure out the cause of these civillian
deaths and simultaneous re-animations so we can get to the bottom of
this whole Fiasco!"
MAX:
"Oh, boy! Deaths and the Zombie Plauge both on the same day! I'd submit them
as being my 2 favourite things in life if those postitions weren't taken up by
my unrequited love of [CENSORED]ing and [CENSORED] with [CENSORED]a[CENSORED]
on top of their earthly remains!"
SAM:
"Oh, you crack me up little buddy."
MAX:
"To the DeSoto!"
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.